SB> keep on keeping yourself busy. Its more effective than posting. A good balance is what we need!! kEEP IT UP HOLY BROTHER!!

:'(

Hearing people's pain and hurt makes me feel like that. Literally.

Sb , I jst read your thread. Don't know how I missed it till now.
You really are an inspiration.
Keep up the awesome work!



ps- You will yet make a great husband and father. You come across as really caring and sensitive to others.

Thank you...I hope so. It's easy to be nice and sensitive when others are nice to you. To be the same when others aren't...well, like i said in your thread - I'm still working on that. But I have good role models.

KUTGW!!!

TrYiNg wrote on 07 Jan 2010 02:17:
Ditto that. I feel very uch the same. You also have a very uncanny ability to say the right thing at the right time. Keep it up SB. Your an inspiration!!

Thank you. Like I said, I've learned from the best, and I was lucky enough to have all of you saying the right things to me, when i needed it most!

In other news...B"H, my journey continues to go well - had an old friend contact me, gently explained my situation and told her goodbye.

Unfortunately, I let my gaivah/self-esteem get the better of me last night, and got into an argument with a guy (he was taking things from someone, but my approach was wrong). Fortunately, I was lucky to have a friend who would tell me when I'm acting below myself. 

Great work SB. im sure it aint easy. But good things come hard. Keep it up SB.

Ur strong! and you make it sound like a btw. Which shows your gadlus even more!

KOT   

The hardest goodbyes were already said - and those were the ones that gave me the most chizuk...this really is a btw...with Hashems help, and yours, not even really a nisayon that I had to struggle with. Said one other goodbye today that was hard...so stupid of me.

She had some small things of mine (unused printer ink cartridges), and I kept on bouncing around in my head...should I just go get them that way it won't be on my mind and distract me, or is it better to just say goodbye...?

After a slip while she tried gchatting me for a minute, I realized that it was way too risky, and well worth the value of an ink cartridge  :D :D best investment i ever made (with the possible exception of my sponsoring Eye and Momo)!

Went to sleep laughing to myself...then got woken up by Ano, and drifted back to sleep chuckling again.

Here's why:

As I was lying in bed, trying to go to sleep, the yetzer hora started reminding me of how great it feels when I can just dream and fantasize. He was saying, "doesn't it make you feel so great, better than anything else?!"

And I honestly started laughing, and I said, "That's a load of garbage! No way you're going to fool me with your lies! I know how it feels afterward, but more importantly, I know how great it feels when I don't listen to you!"

And I literally laughed my way to sleep...

I think it was a first for me, in several ways - aside from being the first time I've laughed myself to sleep, it was also so clear to me how, while the draw of fantasy was still there, it was obviously fake.

That is wonderful news that you were able to laugh at it. Your inspiration is endless.  Live, laugh and love.  Fantasy is not reality and understanding that is a wonderful gift.

Wow Sb your really doing great!!! Im so happy for you. keep up the good work. And remember the best investment is the one you make in yourself because then everyone reaps the benefits!!!! And keep on laughing. It never hurt anyone.

Sb
KUTGW!!!!!

Your progress is a real inspiration 

Knowing that it won't feel great after, sounds so simple but is what we addicts forget all the time  : :

you're incredible for remembering that and really internalizing!  8) 8) Don't you dare let the yh tell you anything else ..

Gut voch!

Was telling the laughing story to my therapist today (man, I hate saying that - it always feel so "pop-culture-y,"), and I realized that a major part of the victory was that i was able to see the need, want, yetzer hora, compulsion, whatever - as something separate from me.

Thanks for all your support!

Hope your week has started off fantastically!