I have a very big situation to deal with... And I am in a very big stress.

Yesterday evening, I was involved in a dangerous situation.
There is a building near my house, and in the second floor there are abandonned offices where some vagabonds are living.
When I was coming back from maariv, some people called me from the windows of this office  : "Call the police, please ! Quick !". And many noises of fighting and things broken came from the inside.
I wasn't believing them and I was afraid to be involved in something. I watched around me somebody to help me : nobody.
But another guy came through the windows and told me : "There is a guy that is near death here ! Call the police, the fire-fighters ! Quick !"

And it seemed to be life or death situation, so I called the police...
I stayed some minutes by phone with them. Meanwhile, people were running in the street around me, some of them with injuries.
And suddenfly, the entire floor began to burn with high flames and smoke coming out of the windows.
Some guys litterally jumped from the windows to escape, and some of them were half naked.
There were screams inside the burning office.
Police and fire-fighters arrived after a few minutes. And many many people came to watch, and some were taking movies to put them on YouTube >_<
It's not often that that you see an half blooded and naked man thanking you that you saved his life by calling the police...

I stayed here a few minutes again, a policeman took my name and I went back to my house, my wife, and my children.

So why I am speaking about this ?

As you can think, the night was very difficult : nightmares, very few sleep ( and crying babies are not an help)... And near of a fall obviously.

And so I am in this situation now.
The stress and the pictures of yesterday are huge of my head, anxiety, and I am on the edge.
I am also afraid that I could have problems with people about this (I live in a dangerous suburbs...)
And with lust, every single woman is like a bomb for me.

I am sober since 200+ days, and I worked hard to improve myself, and to be sameakh and connected to bore olam.
But now, all is agitated.

So I am writing this to share my feelings, and it is already an help.
And to ask what can I do about this terrible and disturbing experience, how to deal with it...
Why Hachem bring me to this situation ?
And what can I do to manage to stay sober today....

Thank you friends

Wow 
nice story even if there are disturbing parts to it.

What is your struggle?

Just a reminder that though it seems there is a test for you here Hashem gave you the great z'chus to save a life may that merit protect you now and forever.

Maybe try to speak to a Rav or Rebbe

Why be agitated? You're a hero!

Though I understand. I also cannot stand being successful. My addict won't allow it.

First of all, congratulations on 217 clean days! Wow!
I went through a lot just to get to 30 days. So, amazing job.
Second of all, I see it like Sing, you are the HERO of the story.
This should not have the power to throw you off your game.
You reacted as you should by getting the firefighters and police involved.
Life is precious. Also, it sounds like from your account that there were only 
men who were running around half-clothed. 
If it was women too, then I agree to ask advice from your Rav how to deal with it.
Was everyone o.k. or did some still die?

I agree with the guys here.
Its natural to be shaken up but as the hero of the story you saved lives.
Hashem made you his shaliyach.
its a cause for a lachayim.

First, a big thanks for all your cheering, it's a big support !

After this type of experience, there are many questions : did I done well ? Why I was here ? What will arrive to me now ? Etc...
The pictures constantly in mind and the stress are bigs to deal.
And doubt and stress bring to unbalance, discomfort, and ... you know what I mean.
As I was advised, I am talking a lot to get things out, and calm down

And unfortunately, there were deaths in the fire...

David26fr wrote on 16 Mar 2017 11:51:

Sorry to hear, Mr David. Hashem Y'nacheim.

It's understandable, too, that an event this epic brings about thoughts equally as epic.

"Why was I chosen?"
"What does this meeeaannnnn!??"
and the others you desribed.

Try just live in the now. Why can't it be that you can do something epic and amazing, and the world doesn't have to shift and all the planets align and the Ultimate Purpose realize? Like, lots of events occur every day. But then the day carries on. 

Coming from me, I'm just working on toning down my super dramaticness into a sense of calm acceptance. Sure, every time I'm tempted, perhaps in a way resisting could bring the Mashiach, and giving in will destroy the upper realms, but, um, well, if I really thought like that, I'd be a lot more insane than I am now.

Happy days.

After a good night of sleep, and above all a good evening talking with my wife about all this evenements in details, the feelings, etc... I am feeling better this morning.

Baruch Hashem !

All that happened was for good, and I was here because Hachem wanted me to be here, and He wanted me to do what have to be done
Often, Hachem wants us to do something, and we are the chosen one to do it, and He knows that we are the perfect person to do it now, and it's a part of our work and recovery

Now, let's continue to take one day after another, and every day is a new gift

David26fr

You have suffered trauma.

You will therefore seek comfort, which puts you in danger of a fall.

It is very possible that you will suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

You should see a medically qualified counsellor...which should be provided for you by your doctor...and possibly by the fire service.

Awesome job handling a tough battle david!!!!
Hatzlacha Rabbah!!!

ColinColin wrote on 19 Mar 2017 23:52:

You are right because I has many scary feelings in the day after this evenement.

But, thanks to my wife, she told me to speak a lot about this to don't keep it inside me. So, after a few days I felt better, and I can say that all this is past now.

I understand when you are in a case of trauma like this, when you can't see a profesional right now, the best thing is to share about it and talk about it a much to many people (sounds like a 12 steps sharing meeting huh ?). So I did.

David26fr wrote on 04 Apr 2017 03:33:

That's a cool word.