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Can anyone relate to me?
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A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.
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TOPIC: Can anyone relate to me? 1116 Views

Can anyone relate to me? 28 Jul 2016 21:09 #292896

  • fallup11
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Hi,

I posted this same content in the Introduce Yourself section, but maybe there are more people here so I'd figure I'd post it again.

I am 30 years old, married with children.  I have had a foot and hand fetish from around 4 years old which also led to other things like enjoying being dominated by a woman.  From 13 to 22 I was addicted to masturbating, mainly from images and videos on the net.  And I also went to dungeons and foot mistresses quite often which was so hard to give up.  I was clean for close to 2 years before I got married.  Although I hadn't masturbated, I would still spend time here and there looking at images and pics online.  My wife caught me 2x.  From 24 until just yesterday (7/27/16) I was clean from browsing the net.  Thats 6 years clean.  Yesterday I dont know what caused me to do it but I went on a Facebook group and saw images and I got pulled in for a few minutes.  I then called TAG to filter the computer.  But I just can't believe I fell after so many years.  I am very upset at myself but trying my hardest not to get depressed and not let the yetzer get me to do any more.  I realized how I am still not strong enough and can use chizuk, which is why I joined here. and to also see if there is anyone else that has my issues.

Re: Can anyone relate to me? 11 Aug 2016 18:26 #293699

  • benyakov
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what do you mean by the "same issues"?
do you mean an attraction to the same body part? what difference does it make the lust kills us all the same. 
the way to healing and living is that basically the same for all of us that are addicts.
read the handbooks.
hatzlacha.

Re: Can anyone relate to me? 11 Aug 2016 18:36 #293700

  • serenity
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Sounds like you didn't act on what you saw. That's good to hear. Hopefully you can get back to sanity right away. 
Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.

Re: Can anyone relate to me? 11 Aug 2016 20:40 #293711

  • 360gye
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Hey Fallup11,
First off, it was a great move on your part to join the GYE community, Knowing you can't do something alone is a great place to start this journey, and GYE is a great place to get chizuk and tools to help you.
I can relate to your story in that i was clean for 2.5 years until recently the yetzer hara has come back to me. I don't dwell on the past, i accept whatever happened and i move on in life with the past as a reality. If it's easier just think of it as a mistake, don't think "i was clean for 6yrs. but now i blew it and i am a terrible person" rather think "i made a mistake, it happens and time to move on in life". As well another tool that helps me is to take it one day at a time.
I would love to help you out some more so please feel free to email me(360gye@gmail.com) if you want to discuss anything (this offer goes for everyone)
Good luck on your commendable journey,
360gye 
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