day 139: I will not be able to come on the site, for my I-pad is gone, I came to library to report that I am alive and well, and though right now I am not on, the mighty hand of our Elohim has totally at this time free me from even much temptation, I don't think that will always be the case, so pray for me, while I build funds to get another I-pad.  I have been able to send a donation to for rape victims, and help to stop human trafficking, this is another way that I recover the ground of stealing sexual privileges even by internet, through the imagination.  I feel apart of aiding womens recovery, yet it appears from the research it is hard, and often a life memory curse.  I will today continue to choose never to be apart of it, even in my imagination. Hopefully from time to time I can give a brief report at the library.

Maybe this is God's next step for you. Keep on strong.

In the joy of life, test will come to us, yesterday one of the most beautiful woman past me by in town, she seem as beautiful as an angel, and her attractiveness was very drawing, I as my own adversary argued with self, even if she was an angel sent to try me, I must in that strength set my mind to the task of the that afternoon. My test has come, she may have some things about her that seem impossible to not fall too. But then I was drawed to her face, tired, lost, bewildered, desperate. I knew in my state, leave her to our Maker, I was not there to aid her, but to see her need, and to pray for her. I was glad that recently I had help other women secretly who had been abused.  My victory would be private, but My Maker look on, and my test way to keen, and deep. As I rode my bicycle now free of her movement, My heart set to not allowing my mind to wander back to her, she was not mine to indulge in.  I am happily marriage, my wife had been through 13 years of the journey of life with me, this stranger has never set a foot in any of my journey, she need not my intimacies.   Her life would not be blessed by my intimacies even secretly either, she was left to our Maker, my life example must continue to be there for them through others quietly. One day I can be a righteous man in front of them, a strong pillar of righteousness to left them know that men can walk righteously, even if women are beautiful. Day 143.

day 146: when daily work is changed, and library is  a part of change, and posting this is helpful to my spirit to not get internet happy, and seek eye coveting. I remember a few days ago, a couple of pretty woman I pass on bicycle to home, some other men whistled at them. So extra warnings have now been issued for my mind to not get involved, I took the road, for they were on the sidewalk. Do a little kindness, but seek not undressing with mind techniques, the mind is faster than the eye, but it would spoils my days of victory. I am glad I had avoided the act, but now the battle is not just for the stop a few seconds later, but to find the strength to replace the temporary freeze, to want to stare. I glad the moment are not locked, but I have to do some serious talking to myself, sing, look at nature, pray, remember the guys here hoping for someone who found a way through it, and decided to post it. May your day be more successful than mine, not that my day was not successful, but in Florida, it has only begun.

Day 149: Only 31 days to a double  90 days. The board of honor is a quiet place, your second 90 may need your word of victory to give that board a boost of good report. Lots of change of plans, so why not quit, I thought to my self, no one self is writing in the wall of honor. No I can do the 90 days on the board of honor, I can post when I can, even if my IPad is down. I will take honor in letting the giants here who have years of victory know, 90 days is good, 3 months, but another three month twice as good. The book of wisdom, and the Psalms are a great help to me.

Day 156: Last time I was in library researching my hobby, longevity, and prevention of disease, I was moving between sites, and the info on health was good, but the ads picture actually had a half naked woman in the picture, I want to stare, but I reasoned with myself, needed to prayer for help, my will seemed frozen to the picture. I was able with a simple lean upon my Maker's help to push the button off that site, then songs help me chase the image away several times. Thinking about what I loved about family, and wife help too. The counting of the Omer attributes, and motivators to move my emotion help too. Later this last week, wishing a grandma happy birthday. I glad I have found old grandma to have conversations with, and to hear their stories, and grandpa too, is a life long blessings, for then I have stories to tell regarding all kinds of things to share.

The repeated pictures, show me that I unconsciously long for them, I need to be aggressive, and change the mind position, my boys and I went out 2 days ago, and secretly gave help to over 25 people, such an event gave them a spiritual boost, to want and love doing righteousness, their comment in the evening of really enjoying doing good deeds was a great reward. Day 160. No repeated picture yesterday evening, found an active tool for change.

Day 164: during wife period, increase doing good deed for her, a lot of loving words, a lot of what we will do in a few days. With our Makers help learning to love in all the non action ways I can find, a great learning experience. We talk recently of all the ways I meet her emotional need without the close physical connections, these she affirmed she wanted, and stated, please give her more.

Day 168: Check in at library, everything is safe in  our Makers hands. Very easy day, praying for strength for harder days.

Day 170: last few days I have been in distress, somehow in a few minutes I had lost my pay, I retraced my steps, twice, nothing came up. Then again I send my prayers up, how I going to make this money up, step 1, go to the emergency fund, and start by using this to remove due bills. Step 2 pray for wisdom and strength to do my jobs, though I lost the pay for the day.  Step 3 do my best, and sing, spent time in Tehillim.  Of course the temptation to doing lustful looking increased, and it was expected, and prayers for ways to deal with it as it came up. An extra job came up, this eased the stress, bless be my One. Past habits and memories tried to take control as I fell asleep. I awoke to the strong desires, I fell on my face, and ask for help, for my mind was not in the mood for denying the lust, and so quickly from no where but One strength came to set my mind in order, and bring thoughts under control, I gave One the reigns to work as the problems grew, I pleaded for help when I was overwhelmed, and One, my King deliver me. As I found victory, new family needs pressed me, and I must find a way to keep the family in peace.

Day 175: When I recognize that beauty is always something I naturally admire, tempting to lust is away easier to handle, when I have a lot of stress, change, I am press to attempt to control my environment, then it is more like lust to dominate attempt to come in, the last few day though storms had hit Florida, work has slow down, friends have not stuck by me and my family when it was tough, I keeping center in the Almighty, and recognizing that I am attracted t beauty, but falling is a choice of the will, and the beauty of holiness shall always cause the beauty of lust to wither away, and this few day tough tough in change, were day of victory on a character level.

Day 181: A few years ago I almost died in an auto accident, and now years later the 50 day count is so good for me, for in those days, 8 of them I put my rededication to the Infinite One, in whom I have won, and I am winning. For that accident was within 8 days of the 50 day of the giving of Torah. We may have to get all are groceries by bicycle. We may have to travel over 22 miles on bicycle for an 8 hours or even a 2 hour day of work, we may have to rise above the lust of body, and give I mate the best, and the romance, of life long commitment, wrap up in a daily courting gifts of love, that my family will never say they had just an ordinary life. I am learning to give my days to those who are in my days, as if I am giving them to the infinite One, for in One, my reward, my blessing is sure, and nothing less matters. For it would be less than blessed to give less than my best. If my Makers call us His children so that the world children have the abundance to see, none is or are like our Elohim, maybe we would see, that our enemies can and will find peace with us.

Day 186: A journey in our Maker, a chance to know more of myself, to rise to be a man of righteousness. Last time at library, some the woman were ever putting their exposed legs above the table. I quickly finished my posting, and went on my way. I have been seeking the beauty of right doing, it is time for women to know that physical beauty alone will not draw this man. It is always good, I have a spiritual woman who has spiritual words that draw my soul to seek a life of abundance, rather than lust. I am altering the altar of sacrifice in my life, I have met and am a friend to One who is not into dominate, control, throw away, or knowing temporary, and then then, not maintaining.

Day 189: In our Makers kindness victory continues for me,  I am glad their are some woman who are not a temptation to me, and they are the one I choose to talk too. So I can strengthen my social skills as a human yet seek victory over vice.

One day from 200, we can do it, limit the journey one day at a time. Recently I visit a neighbor, and the television was on, and the show was mature, I quickly took care of the task I came for, and I went my way. The one picture still sting a bit, I was only a glance, it is good to guard our eyes, a picture can sting for days, reappear years later, bring a fresh battle another day,  the sooner we give it to the Infinite, the sooner we turn away, the more aggressive we refuse its entrance into any lustful thought or action, the less in the next days we will have to fight the battle so strongly, at least that is how it has be for me. Keep checking in here, be refresh, post your account, get help from the leaders. I am now able to start helping others locally, and in my real person, praise be the  Almighty.  I have been a counselor in Lifestyle counselor for years, and now I can encourage locally in my area. We have a network here, Use your blessing.