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Filters/Suggestions for someone who is an IT pro
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TOPIC: Filters/Suggestions for someone who is an IT pro 1966 Views

Re: Filters/Suggestions for someone who is an IT pro 03 Dec 2015 17:28 #270295

  • Dov
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Same experience here. Great advice and shares!

Really, porrtw, your problem is probably not that you are very computer literate, nor is it even the internet. The issue is whether you are tired of the struggle. Not of losing the struggle, mind you, but of the struggle itself. Wrestle with a smelly man, and you come out stinking - even if you win soundly.

And no, I see no reason to admonish you here and have no desire to 'get you to see' that you need to stop or that it's poison. Like the previous poster put it so well, do you see it as poison for you?
If so, then we have something to talk about. If not, we really don't. Blocks and firewalls will not avail you - and wouldn't help even if you were a computer dummy (as I am).

And saying that you feel it is poison, means little. The fact is that if you keep going back to it, keep relishing it enough to feel sure it's necessary for you, then it is obvious that you love it. That is it indeed precious to you. It's beautiful to you. You have a faith that even the Torah isn't shaking, that porn is what you absolutely need. You are being moser nefesh for it, you are hiding and keeping it supremely private, and it (and struggling with it) is a consistent part of your life - those are three basics of avoda in any religion: mesiras nefesh, tzniyus, and t'midiyus. And it's right there in the porn use (and masturbation, too maybe?)

No matter how painful it may be to you, it's just talk, till there is action. Your actions show your deeper truth. And that's what's so nice about the poster's suggestion for you to publicize your web searching to others at all times. It will not keep you clean! But it is an action that demonstrates your willingness to jeopardize your secret rendezvous with the sweetheart. That's scary to do, isn't it? It's a small, real, first action.

This is a thing recovering addicts face in their 1st and 2nd steps, and we do it publicly with other recovering people, to be sure it's not dogma, but what we really have arrived to on our own. So, no. I have no desire to try to stop you. Just to point out what might be going on and face it straight. If porn use hurts but you keep on doing it, then it is probably still working for you. And maybe your post here is the first indication that you are having real doubts about your god, as I have with mine. I face the diseased faith within me that nude goddesses (or gods) are precious and I really need them...so I surrender and open up to other real live people and stay sober one day at a time, without shame.

Finally, whatever you end up doing about this one habit, I'd wager it's not gonna be an effective addressing of your issue. But it can certainly be an honest, real start. See, I have no idea if besides this current issue you are reaching out about, you have a chronic masturbation habit or a porn habit that started long before you wrote your first code...and it's none of my business until u share about it either way. All we can talk about here directly is the stuff people bring up, though sometimes it's just the tip of the iceberg.

Hatzlocha whatever you choose to do!!

- Dov
"Off the 18-wheeler and fine on this tricycle!", "I do not particularly care exactly which "lav" suicide is. I'm not interested in it for other reasons...and you are probably the same."
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