Caim wrote:

Glad to hear! It's very normal to lust when you see a pretty woman on the street. The main test is the 2nd look. Remember the 3 second rule!

B"H I am already on my third day clean. I realized that when I am anxious I am very prone to fall. I realized that the fall can be used as a drug to distract me from my pressures. However, I am not yet a hundered percent sure that this my trigger, I am looking in to it. I am also trying to see if I can replace the fall with something else such as exercise. I will contue to daven to Hashem to help me out further.

Glad to hear you're doing well.
'twas good chatting with you the other day.
hatzlocha

As an update I am now on my 4 day clean in my current streak, I am also Davening to Hashem to help me out further. Even though I am struggling to keep a clean streak for more than seven days now, I might be a little better that in the beginning. Since before working on myself through GYE I was falling every day or two, or even two times a day with masturbation, and watching porn. This is the fourth day in my current streak regarding masturbation, however regarding watching videos it is already four weeks of not watching any porn videos. The last few days I realized that I could be fantasizing about the videos I watched, and fantasizing about other people as well. I hope I will be able to stay clean longer.
I am also trying to use the term of surrendering my lust to Hashem, and saying that I am powerless over lust, even though I am using the terminology I feel that I do not really know how to utilize these terms correctly.

That's amazing! Just because you fell in the masturbation area does not mitigate your accomplishment in Hashem's eyes with regards to the porn. I don't remember the exact term, but R' Yisroel Salanter has a famous yesod that a person can do teshuva for one bechina within an aveira and it doesn't get cancelled out by falling in a different bechina. L'moshol, if one manged to stop doing a certain aveira on shabbos that's considered full teshuva on that bechina even if they still fall during the week. So my point is, never feel that your efforts are for nought just because you can't be perfect!
I wish you continued Hatzlacha!

Caim wrote:


That's a nice post. I'm happy for your progress.

This terminology is part and parcel of "the 12 step recovery programs" such as Alcoholics Anonymous, and Sexaholics Anonymous. Alcoholics Anonymous is the father of all 12 step programs. It's guidebook is called "The Big Book." The Big Book is also used as a mainstay text in 12 step recovery programs for other addictions.

"The White Book" is used as a second mainstay for those in Sexaholics Anonymous. It is used right alongside The Big Book, as though the two were Business Partners invested in your recovery.

You may wish to order a copy of the Big Book on Amazon, or you can find a link to the free electronic version online. This will help you understand the terminology that you mention, although nothing teaches it like going to meetings every day.

Wishing you much hatzlocha.

It has been a few days since last time I posted an update. I have had a few hard days, I fell a few times. I am trying to get myself back together again and work towards recovery. I daven to Hashem to help me out from my hardships and struggles. Many times in my Tefilos I beg Hashem to lead me to a healthier lifestyle.

Congradulation Yid1 for your new name, and may the new name bring much Hatzlachah in everything you need. Moreover may Hashem help you out of your struggles and grant you an easier time with your hardships. I also very much appreciate your advice for me on how to get to know the correct terminology of surrendering my lust over to Hashem.

Caim, haven't heard from you in a few days. How's it going?
(And btw, what does your user name mean?)

BenTorah.BaalHabayis wrote on 31 Jan 2016 04:54:


Good thin' he doesn't ask me.....

BenTorah.BaalHabayis wrote on 31 Jan 2016 04:54:

Thank you for asking about me. I was having some hard days and was not really posting much. However I will Iy"H pick up on it again.
By the way my user name is just short for my name Chaim.

Caim wrote on 02 Feb 2016 04:42:


Cordnoy, does that mean your's is short for Chordnoy? Or Cordnoyovitch?

Workingguy wrote on 02 Feb 2016 05:30:


Nope.

Caim wrote on 02 Feb 2016 04:42:

Sorry to hear about you're hard days. We're all here for you and look forward to hearing from you!

Hi, everyone just posting an update for the last couple of days. I am working on myself and taking small steps. I was also considering taking upon myself to make sure that I learn some Torah throughout the day, and stick to a daily schedule. I hope the Torah will be able to help me balance my day with some spirutuality, and feel conected with Hashem in some way. 

That's great! Whether or not it helps one stay sober, it's always a wonderful thing to learn more Torah. 
I wish you a continued aliyah in all areas of Avodas Hashem!