MBJ wrote:


BH, I'm happy for you. Continued hatzlacha!

Back to my question, do you see this approach of venting anger at Hashem as an es laasos, or a lechatchilah? (Now I need to change my nickname, I didn't have this in mind).

I listened to shiurim, (I think from rav noson maimon), that said we "should take hashem to task", he was referring to asking hashem why he hasn't brought mashiach yet. Maybe we could apply this concept on a more personal level. My thoughts are regardless he knows how we feel so we may as well be upfront about it.

I remember hearing a speech (possibly from Rabbi Wallerstein) where he relates that he was at a Shabbaton for at-risk kids and a girl spoke up very harshly, something along the lines of "I hate Hashem so much". He responded "In that case it's obvious that you believe in Him very much". She eventually became a complete Baalas teshuva.

First of all focus on the positive aspects of your life (family, work, chavussa...) and you will agree that it all comes from Hashem.
Three times a day we get the chance to ask Him for everything we need (in our case: Please fight for us --> eg birkas Re-e No: verivo riveinu)
Don't be ashamed to ask Him to fulfill your needs; this is exactly what Hashem is waiting for!

Al Tisyaesh wrote:


Hey Al. First off kudos for posting here and keep on goin'.

Every jew should know how much Hashem LOVES to hear us pray, he stands kaviyachol and waits for us all day to speak to him, if we would know how much our davening means to Hashem we would speak to him all day long, and if we know how much Hashem loves when we speak to him we would go crazy, and not to mention the tremendous power tefila has, so all of that alone should help us daven.

On top of that, could you imagine a tefila from someone who battling the Y"H everyday, UNSPEAKABLE.

Chazak v'emutz

MBJ wrote:


I understand raising your voice in frustration screaming " I don't know what to do any more? ..."
Is this what you mean? or you have genuine taynos and you're venting.

Please elaborate

As for Rabbi Wallerstein- he is a true pikeach who answered her by bringing her up while refraining from being judgmental.

eslaasos wrote:


I think of it as being genuine. After all like Shlomo24 said right after your post, I have those feelings. I know it and Hashem knows it. So what is the point of hiding them. And if I try to hide them from Hashem, what does that say about my relationship and understanding of Hashem. As if I can be גונב דעת עליון.

So if I feel anger, then expressing it, but still with the humilty of course that I am talking to the מלך מלכי המלכים, seems to me לכתחילה the best way to deal with my situation.

Like I also said, it helped me greatly and I felt closer to Hashem after.

yiraishamaim wrote:

Let me put it this way, I have what feels like genuine taynos. And truthfully they are good questions and really not so simple. In this particular case, I am sure I am not alone on this forum that an addiction that I developed as an pre teen is now destroying my marriage. Frankly it seems unfair. So yes I FEEL like it is a geniuine tayna. I know that I have no taynos to Hashem. And I feel differently now then I did then. But expressing how I felt to Hashem in an open and honest way helped me come to grips with my situation. So while my situation is still tough, I can say that I can deal with it in a more equanimity that I could have before. Perhaps because I have been working on building that trust and relationship with Hashem.

MBJ wrote:

I hear your point about denying emotions that exist, and the concern of גונב דעת עליון, and I hadn't thought of it that way. However, even after agreeing that your conclusion makes more sense than mine did, I still feel there is a further point that just because I acknowledge I have a feeling or emotion does not mean I need to act upon it.
Again, I'm not saying I'm right, but I'm not positive that you are either, so I'm exploring the topic.

Maybe you could elaborate on the balance between the beneficial aspect of expressing yourself and the required humility.

One can express the fact that they are FEELING anger without actually BEING angry. Not necessarily the easiest thing to do....

eslaasos wrote:


Think about it this way. Anger is the emotion that comes out when there is something in our life that we want to control but are unable. One of the expressions of that phenomenon is anger.
There can be several reason why we want something to go a certain way. Let's stick with a basic one. Let's say that the reason you want something to go differently is because you are overwhelmed by the current situation.
So if you find yourself overwhelmed you might feel anger at the the person that caused you to be on that situation.
Now of course every situation's cause is Hashem, but some of them are more hidden and some are more obvious.
In my situation where I put the blame of my hardship on Hashem, I might feel anger.
On the other hand I also have to realize that while my situation is overwhelming, since it is Hashem who put me in it, my loving father is heaven, it is all for the best. So I am angry that my situation seems so hopeless, and I cry out in frustration, realizing at the same time that the object of my anger is also the one who can pull me out of the situation. That my lashing out and demanding that He fix the problem, is also a tefilla, a rather desperate one. Frankly, those are the best kind.
Don't misconstrue, I am not saying we should yell at G-d with insults and epithets, but rather with all the emotion and desperation that we are feeling at the time.

MBJ wrote:


Thank you for breaking it down for me.

So as an example, I might say, Hashem this situation is painful. I know intellectually that one day I will be grateful for it when I see why it was the best possible thing that could have happened to me, but for now I'm stuck with the blinders of this world and it hurts. Please find me another solution with your midas horachamim that will be less painful in the here and now.

Is that what you meant?

Pretty much, except I don't ask for diferent solutions, after all this is the best one. I am saying G-d I am overwhelmed. Help me find the way out. But with all the emotion you are feeling.

Once I ask for that help, I always start feeling better.

Dear eslassos,

Concerning " Why cant I connect to god?!?! :-((( ". You are totally connected to God. chelek alokai mima'al mamesh. So what is the real question?



On a more practical note, I was feeling much the same way as you describe, on my 7th month anniversary. I called my sponsor and suggested that maybe I need to do more service. He said be of service to your family. I left work early that day and spent the afternoon with my kids. I've been feeling God ever since.

serenity wrote:

Hi Serenity,

I always enjoy hearing from you. Just want to point out, as I'm not sure what your intent was, I didn't create this thread and its title, although maybe I hijacked it just a little. My question was about the appropriateness of "yelling at G-d" and clarifying the intent in that term.
That being said, I assumed the question of the original poster was not about not actually being connected, but about not feeling connected, and unfortunately I can relate to that. As my past recedes, and I start to connect (hopefully), I often question whether feeling the connection is real or just wishful thinking, or worse, self-pandering.

I like your story; one day I want to ask you more about it.

Good connecting to all of us!