I was thinking how sometimes you just need to get through the moment, and it would be helpful to have a list of possible distractions in the background ready to be used when needed.

A few suggestions - please add your own ideas.

1. Playing chess on your (filtered) smartphone.

2. Go buy some takeout.

3. Read the forums / listen to the excellent shiurim on GYE.

4. Take a cold shower (never worked for me).

5. Interact with people about normal day to day stuff.

I find that living real life works better than finding other means of escape.
Paying bills I've been ignoring, doing chores that I've pushed off for months, getting to those projects my wife has been nagging me about, etc.
Being productive is vital for me.

Bigmoish wrote:


I also find, by me at least, that no amount of distraction will override my desire for lust. ...so it is about living life beforehand the way it was meant to be.

I agree that as a long term plan, living right is a better option. I still think there is some relevance to this thread. Firstly for singles who don't have as many responsibilities as family guys and have more time on their hands. Also, as much as I setup my schedule to keep myself fully occupied, there is always a few minutes when the YH slips in. I've used chess to get me through those moments by distracting myself, sometimes it works, sometimes not.
It certainly helps when you're busy with life and have less time to obsess, but that's not going to permanently terminate the YH. THis is all IMHO but I'm new to this so correct me if I'm wrong.

I maintain that it is always better to busy yourself with something that will make you feel accomplished. If not actual responsibilities, maybe learn a musical instrument. Exercise. If playing chess is an intellectual achievement that makes you feel good, fine. But just occupying yourself with distractions like games on your phone will probably lead you right back to where you started.

I hear the distinction. I was speaking from my own experience and I only play games that have an intellectual challenge. However there is a balance between that and the open-ended statement of playing games on your phone.

Correct. I was just pointing out that for some, chess is merely a distraction, void of the real life satisfaction we need.

Here's something I posted on a different website:

I tell myself that it's OK to escape sometimes as long as
a. I know it's an escape
b. It's not (too) unhealthy
c. It doesn't become a habit

The importance of the first point is to have another longer term plan in addition to the short term escape plan

And now this thread has been officially hijacked from suggestions of distractions to discussing the merits of distracting.

eslaasos wrote:

Don't we first have to see if distractions are okay at all? Otherwise that would be akin to starting a thread of "best porn sites," no?

LOL, I think you have once again made your point with a healthy dose of exaggeration.

I've probably been accused of exaggeration before...

eslaasos wrote:


Contrary to what some people may think, no individual owns a thread, and although, everyone has a right to start one, the people on the thread want to help all people.

b'hatzlachah to all

Chill, I was joking. In case you didn't notice I continued responding to his line of thought.

Bigmoish wrote:

bump