NotAlone wrote on 29 Oct 2009 03:37:


Notalone, Ive been reading and rereading the above line, trying to decide if I agree or not.
Sometimes my brain kicks in slowly, what can  say!

And if I wasnt so out of it, it wouldnt have taken more than a split second to realize I disagree.

The truth is, it's very hard for any of us to let Hashem down.
The only ones who can "take credit" for that, are those who arent fighting the menuval.
Simply by posting here, you automatically remove youself from the groups called 'losers', 'sinners', or 'lost'.
Sure, you may fall.
May even fall over and over.
But as long as you get up each time, dust yourself off and always face 'right',
Hashem is shepping nachas.
Its hard impossible to dissapoint a loving father who just wants to see you trying.

And as an added bonus, in steps GYE - where your successes are ours, and your dissapointments are ours too.
Ish echad b'lev echad.

So welcome to the best of both worlds!
Now what could be better than that?! :D

Yes im waiting for the rebbe to pick me up on his wings and take me to the top of the mountain. But i know ive gotta do the work and the Rebbe will be there waiting to greet me first, smiling.

Not alone, what 7up means is that as long as we are trying (which you are, just be definition of being on the forum), Hashem is automatically not disappointed. People get disappointed when results are not delivered, but Hashem cares for the EFFORT.

Of course, what you meant is that a person's ACTIONS are less disappointed (i.e. less slips and falls) when he knows that people are with him on his journey, "halevai she'yehai morah...".

But happily, your words prompted 7up's post. Didn't I mention that 7up is one of the brightest lights on the forum?

k

Oops, looks like I wasn't too clear, but since it brought out such a beautiful thought, I don't really regret it.
What I meant was, like kutan said, that it's a lot easier to slip or fall when the only accountability we have is to Hashem, because the yetzer hara makes us forget him for the moment. Of course we don't intentionally let him down!

But the fact is that when a person knows that others are with him, it's a lot less likely that he'll fall.

I guess thats why I had to keep rereading - coz I was missing the point. Oops :-[

Thanks for translating and clarifying Kutan.
I can always count on you!

imtrying25 wrote on 29 Oct 2009 22:09:


There is this story of a neshomo of a tsadik that got up to heaven and had to be cleaned before entering Gan Eden so as a punishment he was given a hammer and was told to break a massive mountain into little stones.

The tsadik lookes up the mountain and at the little hammer he's got and gets into despair. "How long will it take till I finish?" he started to moan. But then he decided that after all he wants to make the rotson hashem and if this is what hashem wants from him it doesn't matter how long it takes. As he started to work on the mountain a massive roar was heard and the mountain split in two crumbling to pieces and the mike system told him to make his way to the gan eden.

It was his thought of serving hashem in his effort that cleared the path for him!

When we suffer in our battle let's remember for who we do it, it will clear the path for us and turn the anguish into pleasure.

G38 what can i say that was just beautiful. Thanks so much for all your mashalim and storys they are really mechazek me. 

      Hello again dearest brothers,


I would post more on the forum if I wasnt trying to stay away from the internet bichlal as much as possible. Anyways, as I reach "the big nine oh" tomorrow, I would like to give a groise shkoiach to reb guard and everyone else on gue, and share with you all a maaseh from this past week- when I was visiting my grandparents in miami beach this past shabbos, my (ffb 90 yr old) grandmother had mentioned to me that she used to go to the boardwalk every morning at dawn, but was no longer able to. When she asked me on shabbos afternoon (on a bright sunny day) if Iwanted to take a walk with her and go there, I let the yetzer horah get the better of me :o . Once there, I thought about my shtarke rebbeim and asked myself- if all the meforshim that i learn are watching me, how would they feel about me learning their heilige sforim??Of course my YH reasoned that they understand our generations nisyonos and wouldnt care what I looked at. Then I thought about gue and realized- if I look to my left right now, I would be putting everything I learned here to waste and to shame! Lemaiseh I closed my eyes  8), and made sure to get out on the next possible exit. Just want to let my family here know that the schar that comes out of maisos like these dont go to the protagonist alone, rather the entire support system, because I know that I could not learn to have the disgust for p*** as I now have without all of you

B'shalom ubrachah (and having many hopes for another 90),                            yrts

Chasdei Hashem, keep it up

That is truly fantastic, and I hope you're truly proud of yourself!

I have to say that I love seeing the interplay between members - the support and discussion, even at moments of disagreement. It makes me smile!

I'm new here, but I was reading through your thread and couldn't help but think that lots of guys are faced with the same issues that you are. And while this forum is great, it would be nice to be able to work with a rebbe - and shouldn't we be able to? Isn't that the point of a rebbe?

But I'm sure many people feel just like Yaakov, that they'll be looked down upon, or even kicked out of yeshiva. Now, that may or may not be true - my hope would be that if you chose your rebbe wisely, you can find plenty of rabbeim in any yeshiva who will understand and help.

However, 1) It's still hard to bring up these issues - how DO you broach the subject? and 2) You might not be certain about this rebbe's reaction.

So here's an idea - you can talk to a rebbe about standard shmiras einayim. Everyone has to deal with that, and you can mention how it's a difficult struggle for you. Let the rebbe take it further if he's on the ball and able to deal with it. And even if he doesn't, you can at least have that door open to talk about the idea of taivos, and hopefully get some basic tools for dealing with them live and in person. And obviously, use this forum for more direct advice and help.

Thoughts, anyone?

Yaakov, we're all very proud of you for reaching 90 days. Can you tell us a little about your story and what things helped you? And what are you clean for 90 days from, I assume hz"l and p*rn? And before 90 days you were doing both, or just one of them? It seems you must have had two months clean before joining us already, since your first post is Oct 27. Did you know about us for two months before?

Keep up the good work!

Silent

Brilliant point!

It would usually prove that thay are ready to help and much more understanding than thought before. After all they are human themselves

The way I see it - everybody faces nisynos in different forms, but this taiva is something that pretty much everyone shares (the desire has to be there for there to be healthy marriages). So on some level or another, everyone's dealing with this.

R' Leib (Lawrence) Kelemen mentions how at one point, he was forced to plan a trip to Eilat with one of his sons to take care of something there (I haven't listened to this shiur in a while, but I seem to remember that at the end, they didn't have to go). He notes that for those unfamiliar with the standards of dress in Eilat, "people there don't walk around wearing winter coats."

So, he went to his rebbe, R' Volbe, to ask for advice on helping them with smiras Einayim. R' Volbe responded that "it's a gemara." He elabprated that the gemara in shabbos classifies an injury to the eye as something you can be mechalel shabbos for, because the eyes are connected to the heart. Therefore, R' Volbe advised, Talk with your son in learning. If your heart is occupied fully, your eyes won't notice.

And I think it's true - to whatever extent we're deep in thought, we don't notice things in the physical world around us.

So 1) That's good advice for all of us. Thinking in learning while walking in the streets is something we can all do, on our own level. Review, contemplation, etc. And 2) We see that R' Volbe was happy to address this important issue, which clealy was a concern for a rabbi, and his son (his sons are all fine yeshiva bocochrim, learning in top israeli yeshivos).

kipp going get up tommarow is a new day !!!