That's what GUE is all about.
I came in here looking for help, half expecting either yeshivishe raid which won't have the slightest effect on my life, or mystical hallucinations about how you need to balance all the energetic forces within you - using love for nature.
And what I found was a whole community of frum jews JUST LIKE ME, who share the same difficulties and frustrations as I do, and who also seek to free themselves of the self-destructive habit they find themselves caught in, and who all help and support each other in truth, and with wisdom - usually from experience.
It's an amazing thing, and your just begginning to realize how true this is.
It's changing my life, in more than just one way.

Your very welcome. More than you appreciate the help, the rest of us appreciate the opportunity to help you succeed!
And as Bards would say, KOT,NMW!!
In simple language, that's:
                         Keep
                         On
                         Truck'n
                         No
                         Matter
                         What
Hang in there B'ahava, you got a whole bunch of fans rooting for you here!

A beautiful parable from the Ba'al Hasulam:

A king once had a good friend whom he hadn't seen in many years. When this friend
finally returned, the king was so happy to see him that he told his treasurer to
take his friend - who happened to be a pauper - to the royal treasury, and to give
him one hour to take as much money as he wanted! So they brought him into the treasury
and gave him a bag, which the poor man proceeded to fill with gold coins until the
bag could hold no more. Full of gratitude and happiness, the poor man began to leave,
but as soon as he stepped out of the door, the guards gave the bag a big kick and
all the coins spilled onto the floor. The man was distraught, but he looked at his
watch and saw that he had still had plenty of time until his hour was up, so he
quickly returned to the treasury and began to refill the bag with coins. But when
it was full and he tried to leave, once again the guards gave the bag a big kick
and everything went flying. The man was at his wits end, but seeing that he still
had more time, he refused to give up and he went back in and tried to fill the bag
yet again.
But the same scenario repeated itself over and over. The guards kept kicking the
bag of coins and causing everything to spill, until the poor man was sure that
he was simply wasting him time.
Finally the hour was up, and the guards dragged the poor man out of the room with
his bag barely half full.
But suddenly, the poor man looks up and he sees a wagon over loaded with gold coins
standing before him. And as he stands there wondering for whom all that money is
intended, he sees the king coming to greet him with a big smile. And the king tells
him that the entire wagon load of gold coins belongs to him, explaining that he
had commanded the guards to make him lose his coins each time, so that he would
manage to gather up so much more in the one hour that he had!

And so it is with our life on this world. Often after we have made good progress
and our bag is "full", Hashem commands the guards to give us a kick and we lose
everything. Hashem does this purposefully so that we can keep filling up the bag
again and again, but the foolish man thinks that all his work is in vain and he
simply gives up trying. However, the wise man knows that he hasn't lost anything
from his previous efforts, and he starts over again and again from scratch - with
JOY.
And if we follow the path of the wise man, when our time is up and we come to the
next world, we will see a huge pile of spiritual "gold coins" waiting for us from
the progress that we had made each and every time we started over again!

Thank God, I was zocheh to 74 days of cleanliness. And the feelings came back.

The fact that I'm even struggling with this is a big deal. It's something to be proud of. It's a reason enough not to be depressed.