silentbattle wrote on 03 Jan 2010 03:50:


Its about the simcha I had during my 2 clean months.
It was so easy. So sweet.
And its gone now.
I'm trying hard to get the feeling back, but no luck yet.

It might take some time, and the yetzer hora might hide it from you. Remember, though, that the simcha is there (in the deepest way - your neshama is b'simcha!), and you'll eventually feel it.

I hope you feel it soon, though - it's much easier to dance when you can hear the music!

Dude its woth faking the simcha. It may even help you be really besimcha. And that never hurt anyone, i promise. Keep it up. And hold your head up high. Cuz if your hear your saying you wanna be better. And thats enough of a reason to be besimcha. Hatzlacha.

Hey, bro - how're you doing?

Big test tomorrow I'm supposed to be studying for. Procrastinating.
My friend who helps me with my 'issues' is off to Israel.

Its a recipe for disaster.

But I'm holding on for now, thank God!

Get back to studying - plan a break for later, plan something safe but relaxing - stay busy!

Can you stay in touch with your friend in israel?

b'ahava wrote on 04 Jan 2010 01:15:
What does that mean?? Youve got so many friends right here willing and waiting to help you. And with love!!!

Shiv'a is over.
Test went well.
I'm taking a week off to catch my breath.
And I don't think I'm depressed anymore!
The hugs are coming in.

So, yeah. Things are looking good.
Yishtabach shemo!

That's awesome - I'm glad to hear!

Keep yourself busy with things you enjoy, and be happy!

b'ahava wrote on 05 Jan 2010 16:19:
Look for the good my friend, it will find you!!

Keep it up!!

My dear friends, come hear of the chasadim of HKB"H.

In one of my other lives, I'm a total gadget geek. I spend hours a day reading news and reviews of the latest gear, and I take pride in my collection of tech. (Whether or not this other part of my life is a good thing is a discussion for another time.)

Naturally, I crave many of the smartphones released over the past couple of years.
And I've spent many many hours on the phone with the highest levels of Sprint customer service trying to explain to them why they should let me upgrade my 3-year-old piece-of-garbage flip phone. Its really quite a boosha for me to pull out my phone among the circles I role with. And it really doesn't make sense why Sprint is being so adamant in their refusal. I must have tried a dozen different s'varahs and pilpulim to convince them.

But no dice.

Last week, I fell with my iPod. As one of my responses, I gave the iPod to a friend to hold onto for a week, sort of putting me in "time out" until I could get my head together.
My friend actually commented that he sometimes wished he could give away his smartphone for a week, but couldn't because he needed it for calls and texting.

It doesn't make sense that a geek like me walks around making calls on a crappy flip phone.
It doesn't make sense that Sprint continually refuses to budge.

This is the chesed of Hashem! He knows what nisyonos I can handle, and what nisyonos I can't. And He won't let me test myself with a smartphone. Yishtabach shemo!

Very cool.
When I was (12 was it?) ok somewhere around there, I discovered that the tv in my house had a bunch of trial channels, namely... and to my 12yr old mind - that was very thrilling.
So I used to start sneaking into the room and chapping a few minutes here and there.
Until a few days later - there is a storm, and a tree in front of my house falls down - right on the antenna.

While you guys are it, I'll throw in my crazy true story and maybe we'll start a thread of "Weird (but very nice) Acts of G-d":

After I first got sober, I had nothing to do all night long (when I'd have been out messing my life up acting out, of course) and just couldn't get adjusted to actually sleeping at night.
We had a little TV "just for the olympics" at first, that my sister bought us. To make a long story short, I watched it for hours each night and switched addictions, basically....but at least I was sober!
Slowly it drove me crazy. I knew that it was a matter of time before I lost my sobriety over it....

One day, my wife calls me at work (no no no, she calls me "dov" all the time, I meant she called me while I was at work...ha...anyway...) and told me there was a whit powder all over everything in the house. I told her to call the fire dept. She chuckled and hung up.

She called me back (...no, not "back", oh forget it, I'll spare you.....) to tell me that the TV had caught fire just sitting there plugged in, and melted upon itself. It was dead.
We have not had a TV since...

Shomer p'so'im, Hashem, no?

Wow...almost makes you believe in a god, or something...

BTW -

What should my policy be regarding wet dreams?

I've been ignoring the issue and hoping it would take care of itself as I was more careful with my eyes and thoughts throughout the day. Not sure there's much else I can do.

Thoughts?