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The disappointment of sobriety
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TOPIC: The disappointment of sobriety 1164 Views

The disappointment of sobriety 05 Jan 2015 21:36 #246594

  • ted
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So I'm clean for a few weeks now.
this is what I've been dreaming of for so many years.

But where is the dream?

I dreamed of the day that I could say I've been clean for six weeks
I dreamed of feeling amazing,
feeling accomplished,
feeling confident,
feeling comfortable
not feeling pain
not feeling miserable.
after all wasn't my acting out the source of all my problems?!

Re: The disappointment of sobriety 05 Jan 2015 21:56 #246596

  • cordnoy
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terrific post!

Great work!

Have you been workin' any recovery program to stay clean/sober, or have you just been 'white-knucklin',' or simply takin' each day at a time?
What has been your success based upon?
Have you discovered at all what can be preventin' all this bliss that you have been dreamin' of?

Wishin' you even further success, but most of all, wishin' you clarity of mind.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

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Re: The disappointment of sobriety 05 Jan 2015 22:23 #246604

  • belmont4175
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Hey Ted!

Six weeks plus is something to be proud about, you have accomplished quite a bit, however I don't want to upset you, it's no dream it's reality, so many years of the opposite way will take a while to heal the pain and gain confidence and comfort.

Keep on trucking, work on some program whatever it is and pray to Hashem for help.

Be'Hatzlacha
הסיבה שיש דברים קשים העוברים עליך היא בגלל שהאדם חושב כי "אני עומד" שהוא מנהל הכל,
ברגע שיתן הכנעה כי השי"ת מנהיג הכל אז כבר אפשר להתמודד עם הקשיים. שמעתי מאדם גדול

If life is a LEMON make LEMONADE

Thank You Hashem for every moment of Sobriety!

Re: The disappointment of sobriety 05 Jan 2015 23:01 #246605

  • ted
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To be present.. Is to feel pain..

Re: The disappointment of sobriety 06 Jan 2015 01:55 #246617

  • Watson
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Acting out was never my real problem. Acting out was a pacifier. Whatever difficult situation I found myself in I resorted to lust to take the pain away. I never learnt how to deal with things in any other way. When I started taking the pacifier of lust away, I began to feel the pain my lust had been suppressing all those years and I had no way to deal with it.

Thus getting sober is only half the story. It's actually the smaller half. Getting better means changing and growing into the kind of people that can deal with life in a healthy way. That's the really hard part. That's what the 12 steps are for.

Re: The disappointment of sobriety 06 Jan 2015 03:56 #246625

  • dms1234
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Cordnoy and Watson hit the nail on the head. Perhaps you are a dry drunk, just trying to get through life instead of actually living life?

What have you been doing to stay clean? Have you been reaching out at all?
I am happy to speak on the phone. Please email me at dms1234ongye@gmail.com

My name is Daniel, I go to face to face meetings and I work the 12 steps with a sponsor. 

Re: The disappointment of sobriety 06 Jan 2015 07:31 #246635

  • Radio
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a
Last Edit: 30 Jan 2015 02:52 by Radio.

Re: The disappointment of sobriety 06 Jan 2015 10:19 #246652

  • ted
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Watson wrote:
When I started taking the pacifier of lust away, I began to feel the pain my lust had been suppressing all those years and I had no way to deal with it.


''to be present is to feel pain''

Re: The disappointment of sobriety 06 Jan 2015 10:26 #246653

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Thank you. I hope we can get through this.
It's sometimes difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Sometimes it feels like it's easier just to act out and blast off into oblivion

Re: The disappointment of sobriety 06 Jan 2015 10:45 #246654

  • cordnoy
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oh, it's certainly much easier to blast into oblivion, but in oblivion, you will be alone, for your oblivion and my oblivion will be no place near each other. When I blast into oblivion, I will be alone as well, so although the flight might be ecstatic and euphoric, the end game will be tragic and lonely, and that is someplace I want no part of. In recovery - I am amongst friends, like you and the others. Please, let's stay among friends; it's much lighter here, and there ain't even no damn tunnel!!!
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.
Last Edit: 06 Jan 2015 10:45 by cordnoy.

Re: The disappointment of sobriety 06 Jan 2015 13:29 #246659

  • Watson
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ted wrote:
Watson wrote:
When I started taking the pacifier of lust away, I began to feel the pain my lust had been suppressing all those years and I had no way to deal with it.


''to be present is to feel pain''


What do you mean by this?

Re: The disappointment of sobriety 03 Dec 2015 05:08 #270226

  • cordnoy
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Radio wrote:
a


Truly, a Hell of 'a' post.

[the thread is great for thinkin' recoverers.]
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.
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