no, no...7Up didn't mean "the Big Book" of Torah. She meant the "Big Book" of AA - for beating addictions. Download it here... Also the White-Book of SA is well worth your time to read. Download it here. We are dealing here with an addiction, which is a disease on many levels; physical, emotional and spiritual. Davening and learning are only part of the solution to this disease - in the same way that davening and learning alone won't heal a broken leg. Often we are like someone riding an 18-wheeler tractor trailer of spirituality, while we continue to act out on our addiction and our lives are out of control. Instead, we need to get off the tractor trailer and get onto a tricycle, simple, slow, safe and REAL. We need to learn again the ABC's of what it means to be a "sane" human being. This you can learn by joining some of the 12-Step phone conferences or by joining a live SA group in your area. (See Dov's story here for a clear example of what I am talking about). Once you have been here for a while and learn the secrets to finding freedom from this addiction, you may be surprised to find that your natural "soul-connection" with Hashem has become much stronger - without you even noticing it. You may find that davening and learning will take on a whole new meaning. It may and it may not. But continuing with the addiction surely won't improve that, and it will only take us down a dark road of pain and suffering...

I suggest you join Duvid Chaim's free anonymous phone conference to learn the secret of the 12-Steps from the Big-Book of AA. See this page for info on how to join.

Guards correct; I meant the AA book. Help from the professionals, and as he said, Torah can help sooth the pain, but concrete steps are needed for true healing

joeshmo wrote on 16 Nov 2009 00:21:


Why not contact Partners in Torah and ask them to set you up with a learning buddy? They have volunteers all over the country as well as by phone. Definitely worth looking into.

I will read everything and keep Davening..I fell again   I need strength...I will read....thanks

joeshmo wrote on 16 Nov 2009 21:11:


A smile is a frown turned upside-down. 

Learn something from that fall and then use it to keep yourself up!

Have you read the handbooks of GYE?

I believe I hit my rock bottom in the last couple of days ..I stayed up all night trying to set up times to meet people for sex..I came close but once again,Baruch HaShem, there were obsticles where it couldn't be done. Im sick and I pray that I can move up from here now. Toda

Were really sorry to hear about all your going through. But were happy to hear that you pulled through. When you feel ;like you need it most try convincing yourself to post on gye and someone here will try and help you through. We gotta keep on trying. Its hard but its worth it. Im sure you feel good as well that things didnt work out for you, although at the time you really wanted it. Hindsight is always 20/20. But we have to build from here. Next time you get in such a situation you gotta do things diffrently. Also gotta remind yourself about the past times and how it wasnt worth it or how you felt better that you did do it. OK So HAtzalacha. We love you and were rooting for you.

Joeshmo,

You showed me and all of GUE great courage for two reasons. First, youd didnt meet the poeple for the conjugal visit. That takes alot of courage. Even though you said it just happened to not work out I am sure your conscience had something to do with that. Second, you posted it here. That, my friend is step 1. You realize that you have a problem and you are doing something about it. Kol Hakavod! Dtay with us we'll be here for you when you need us.

-INH

Are you reading the handbooks?

It sounds like a live SA group may be very helpful to you.
Have you considered it?

We are davening for you Joe.
May Hashem give you strength to withstand this test,
until He sees fit to remove it from you.
But you mustnt forget to ask!

Thanks for all the kindness and up lifting words...they sure help and 7up, I never forget to ask HaShem to remove this or give me strength...I pray daily and I certinley bring that to his attention. Do you believe in generational curses? My Father was always running around on his wife(He wasn't married to my Mom) ??? Im praying for things to go up from here..I could never live with myself if I actually had an extra marital affair...HaShem please help us all.

Hashem has answered your prayers, Joeshmoe! He brought you to GYE. Now, all you have to do is get on the train... How? Read the handbook and find out how.

Im sure you speak to Hashem all the time Joe.

And finally you hear Him answering.
He has sent His angels in the guise  of Guard and the Guardyoureyes family.
We believe in you.
Believe in yourself.

Baruch HaShem on that 7up..and yes I have down loaded and have read some of the books you offer here..I do believe that HaShem has indeed answered my prayers by the wonderful web site...Thanks

We're here for you.
Not going anywhere.

joeshmo wrote on 17 Nov 2009 20:15:

Joeshmo this is great that you realize Hashem is hearing you pray. When a person has that its such a comferting feeling. Im really sorry for everything youve went through. We love you man and we know you can do it. It wont be easy but its doable. Hey thats what makes us men- doing the hard things!! And if you ever need some help we are always here for you. We will hold your hand whenever you need it. Heck ill even lend you my bike if thats better. MOst of all we want only the best for you....believe it or not