I just wanted to say I've been clean for 3 days now..Im done with this c-list thing..Im thru....I can't keep sinning HaShem and my wife..I love my wife so much I can't do it....So Im taking a stand here and now proclaiming that I have victory and Im done!! I'll keep you informed...Thanks

Joe

That's great - I'm glad to hear that!

But hashem and your wife aren't the only reasons why this is such an important victory - there's also YOU! You're killing yourself, deep inside, when you do those things...now, finally, you've allowed yourself freedom!

joeshmo wrote on 18 Feb 2010 16:09:
And with that you now officially................................................ROCK THE FRIGGIN HOUSE!!!

Kol hakavod on the move. May hashem bless you !!

Have a great shabbos!

Im trying 25....man that cracked me up I love myself and Im slowly killing myself and sinning greatly..Im just tired of it..I just want to be a good Jew..Thanks

Joe

Let's focus on not killing yourself first, OK?

And it sounds like you're doing a great job so far!

Have a great shabbos!

Still going strong Baruch HaShem!! Im done..I just can't live two different lives..Im a Jew and Im so very lucky to have a beautiful wife who adores me..I better quit while Im ahead...Im sorry and embarrased of my actions..Please forgive me HaShem..I pray for all my bros here..please give us all strength to be real men of valor...

Joe

Remember that the Y"H will come knocking on his hourly rounds. Mybe you will keep busy, and have a few gours off. But he is patient, and he will wait, he will crouch in waitng, ready for your return.

But when he comes, just fast foward the whole nissayon in your head, "I will do ___, and then I will feel ____, and then this will happen, and then this, and then I will feel like ______. And on the last point try to dwell on it as long as possible, and actualy feel that worthless discust.

Now stand-up after that "fall" and resolve not to do it again for a few hours!!

It worled for me a few times, might as well give it a try.

joeshmo wrote on 19 Feb 2010 13:11:
I sure hope your not an egg, or else this would not be a very safe thing at all!!! :-\ :-\        :D

joeshmo wrote on 21 Feb 2010 18:03:


Dear Joe,
First off, it's nice to see the "shmo" part is history. Second, congrats on your clean days, especially (OK, really only)today.
Finally (please get your fur-lined, regulation, chassidishe boxing-shtreimel on, now, OK?), I have heard remonstrations (look it up, it's really a word) just like this from many folks, many times.
Your sincerity is not in question. All I come to say is that I do not know personally of anyone who was able to defeat this giant, as you called it, on their own.
If you would be alone c"v in a dark alley in flatbush (sorry bards!) and accosted by a few big thugs with knives, would your reaction be, "hmmm, I trust that Hashem will give me the strength to beat this crowd like Bruce Lee in the movies, and I'll be OK"? I think most of us would assess the sitaution rather quickly, realize we have no chance, and start screaming for help. Perhaps you believe it's best to at least 'go down swinging'. 
Well, in this problem, there is no 'going down swinging'. It gets ugly in a hurry, and gets uglier still, and remains ugly, spoiling it for those around us, r"l.
So, scream for help. Consider giving up the fight with this giant if you believe that it's really too big for you. SA helped me do just that, and helped me learn how to actually depend on Hashem rather than just talking or acting as though I put it in Hashem's hands, while really depending on myself. Anyone can say they depend on Hashem. But for me, the only way to eventually truly come to do it, was (and still is) through admitting utter personal defeat. It seems I am just too screwed up to help Him take care of me and need to get the heck out of His way, basically. Nu. It's really a wonderful derech avodah, and life is better for my wife, who likes me a lot, too. 
You may now remove the bumper-shtreimel safety device and get to work in whatever way you see fit. The road is rarely smooth, but Hashem will be with You as long as you don't give up asking for help!
Seeya!

I agree with everything you guys are saying..Your giving me good advice..and I appreciate it...I ask HaShem to help me get through the day one day at a time..yesterdays gone and tomorrow is not here yet...so I worry about the here and now...I have had bad habbits before all this and HaShem took them from me..I was an IV drug user...so you see I have faith in HaShem because he saved my life and has done it again...Im not going back to my vomit any more...Im done..
Joe

Joe

I'm going to echo Dov here. Who said you're done? Why should this time be any different then the last 100 times you promised you were done? No more?

What are you doing different this time then the last time you said you were done? Other then loud proclamations and Bravado.

I don't think you really got the point yet (Despite overcoming a drug addiction).  Well actually, please explain. Did you overcome your drug addiction through sheer will power on your own? If you did either you were not truly addicted, or you're a one in a million case. Otherwise you put yourself in the hands of somebody else let them force you to detox, etc.

Overcoming an addiction such as this doesn't involve doing it "With Hashem's Help" it involves saying "I can't do this, Hashem, I already messed myself up too much. I need You to do this for me! I'm putting myself totally in Your hands. Please carry me!

This is step number one and the most important step, after this you may want to start a disciplined approach to conquering this such as the 12 steps.

And no matter what, we're all happy for you, every day that you're clean - we share in your joy.

To answer you"ME"... What is different now?? I guess It has been a huge burden on my back when I put on T'fillin and pray and look into the face of my wife...Im done..I won't be looking at trash no more...ok? and as far as Heroin and Coke goes..I asked HaShem to help me and he did..I went thru with draws...sweats.puking...all that good stuff and that was 23 yrs ago..and don't tell me I wasn't an addict my friend..I spent 350.000 on it....and did it all ....Im one..something just clicked this time..ok? Maybe HaShem sent the strength I need this time...I can't give you a definte answer..I'll be honest though..if I fall I will keep you informed so you can tell me how wrong I was...but Im not going to b/c HaShem has healed me..ok? Toda

Joe

It sounds like you do have incredible strength, and are also able to rely on hashem to help you.

So, you know that you can do this, with hashem's help! We're all lookign forward to seeing your beauty as you continue to shine and move past this struggle!

Thanks Silent.

Joe