I hate to say it, coz I know how hard it is, but by only limiting talking, you are teasing yourself.
Make the break.
A kite cant soar if someone is holding the line short

i agree with mom (7up- us girls, and some of the guys, call her mom)
a clean break will make it easier for both of you in the long run. you may continue to think about her for a while, but that will fade. right now you're worrying about what to do, so sshe's just constantly on your mind
g'luck!

hey, strivin, im gonna go a little bit in a different direction...first of all, you have to understand that torah has two sides...ben adam lechaveyro and ben adam lamakon...they are the benjamin and the independence hall of a $100 bill...you cant have one without the other...youve got to fix your ben adam lamakon but not at the expense of ben adam lechaveyro...it is my humble, untrained opinion that ben adam lechavero applies to your girlfriends, too...you cant be rude and you cant be an *******...you can't say, goodbye and good luck, have a nice life...most important, you need to be honest and transparent with her....so here's what you need to do: talk to her...tell her that for the foreseeable future youre going to devote your emotion and physical energy on improving yourself and that in order to do so you need her to let you have some space...tell her that you know that each of you will end up with the person you are destined for and that you will pray that the person be her but for now you need to go traveling on a road and its not fair to her or you if you guys are still close as you take this journey...tell her that means no texting, no chatting, no nothing for now...tell her youre doing this to be a better person and a better jew...i think having that conversation will help both of you move in the direction you need to go...

and rage, exactly what did you think i meant by END it?
that he should text her
"sorry, kiddo, we're over?"
actually, looking back, it may seem like i did mean that.
but I am totally with Rage on this one.
end it NICELY!!

and even in ending it nicely you will experience withdrawal symptoms from that break in connection-a certain void

expect this-it is normal.

but as difficult as it is,it is the right thing to do

and it may take some time but Hashem will fill that void and give you  much richer and much deeper connections in life with yourself,with others,and ultimately with the one you are destined to be with

keep strong

we are all with you in your striving

Striving,

7up, Rage and Habib are exactly right: I tried the only-texting relationship (even more ridiculous, I even tried - we'll talk over the phone once a week) shtick and in my experience it never lasted as only texting. It will tear at you and will not let you move on. You will be looking at your phone every 10 minutes to see if she sent you a text. And like how Rage clearly explained: its not fair for you or her.
You've got to do this in the most mentschlich way possible but theres no question its gotta be done. Youre only teasing yourself by allowing this to keep going.
It's going to be hard but you'll be surprised with how fast you'll be able to pick up and move on. And you will have the best support system to fall back on...your friends at GUE.
Hatzlacha

hey guys-
im sorry i have not posted in a while, ive been very busy. i dont have the greatest news

i wrote and email about why we cant be friends anymore, i did not send it. i backed down.

i didnt not want to deal with the headache of going through the akward stages of not talking. instead, i told her we can stay friendly and just keep distance. my plan, is to only reply to her, and to instigate any conversations. eventually, i hope, she will get the point and just cut herself out. at least this way there no bad blood.

i know what you guys are going to say. but this is what happened and this is my plan on moving on.

hope to hear from everyone soon
-striving

shes not a mosquito bite who you ignore long enough so she'll just go away....dont do it by email, either, romeo...lets not lose the ben adam lechaveyro for the ben adam lamakom, please.....

i cant just tell her to go away now, i just finished telling her i dont mind being friendly.
why not just give this a week?

i guess we've got no choice now, huh?

There was a woman who was on this site well before my time here...her handle was strugglingwoman...i read her stuff sometimes because it talks to me...this is what she wrote:

I happen to believe that if a man and woman were only ever platonic friends, they can remain that way.  However, once a man and a woman have been romantically involved, I don't think friendship is possible.  Besides being awkward, most of the time a relationship ends in a one-sided way - one person breaks away from the other.  That means that at least one of the partners still feels some hope that the relationship might rekindle someday, and that means the other partner is afraid their former partner believes there is hope for the relationship to rekindle one day!

Sometimes after a relationship ends, the partner instigating the breakup will ask to remain friends out of guilt or perhaps for an occasional ego boost (it's nice to have someone in the background pining away for you).  The rejected partner might also ask to remain friends in order to keep their former love in their life.  However, this isn't friendship.  When two people end a relationship - it should be a clean break.

i fully agree with that statement, no if ands or buts.

i didnt seal the deal, now i have to live with it this way. if after a week im not getting better, ill make it a clean break.

i feel like i just dont have any other option. thanks for the words though, again i belive that t be true.
thanks

You can use Strugglingwoman's words as a script (you can paraphrase a bit).

Dont hurt her.
Being strung along hurts more than a clean break.

here is the update-

she took the hint. i have pretty much showed her i am busy every time she texts me, and she basically has stopped. we barely talk anymore. so it all seems liek ti worked out. we dont talk, and theres no bad blood. great.
problem is, i still miss her. i guess i just need more time. no rush.

after all this, i have confirmed one thing about myself. i hate being alone. i was wondering if you guys had any suugestions for a guy who is a full time yeshivah/college student who doesnt have time to just always hang with his guy friends. i know thats a good solution but i just dont have time. i spend all my time learning and taking classes. obviosuly, time is always an issue. but i was just wondering if you guys had any suggestions for the general feeling. like when you are just sitting in the library and you dont have much to look forward to , other than tests.

thanks for all the support so far, hope to hear from you soon
-striving

hey guys-
i know it has been a while, but here is the update:

i broke it off. we are only speaking once a week. this is one of my biggest accomplishments. im really proud

yet again, i dont feel right. my feelings have not diminished and its been almost 2 weeks.

please help. how long do i have to wait?

thanks

striving