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My Maddness
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TOPIC: My Maddness 679 Views

My Maddness 04 Jul 2014 07:21 #234636

  • Sparky
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So I am a nice guy who is very sick.

I have this thing that I want to Google and look up online. I have all kinds of reasons why I need to check this out. Now all of you know that is nonsense and the real reason I need to look this up online is that I am nuts and am trying to fool myself into thinking that I 'need' this. That is of course a reason to look at stuff I should not.

I wanted to share this so I might not look.

Thank you.

Re: My Maddness 04 Jul 2014 13:14 #234646

  • Optimistic
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Hey!!!! Yesher Koach for looking after yourself!!

Try to install a filter. If you know you'll carry out the search, you have to stop yourself. (If you have an iphone you can create parental restrictions and give the password to a friend. If you need an excuse not to be embarrassed, just tell him that your rabbi told you you have to hve a filter).

But beyond the filter, get to the core of the issue; don't just keep yourself away, but work on keeping away from the temptation in the first place. (make sure to look thru the resources on this site, there are MANY!!).
Most of all, though, don't stay alone and don't stay bored!

Much Hatzlacha!!!
AD MOSAI!!

Re: My Maddness 04 Jul 2014 15:11 #234652

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Thanks for sharing

I could've written that myself, but my mind doesn't even go so far as to tell me that I need it, it just says "why not"......

Are you kidding me?! why not?! How about because A) why yes? B ) This could set in motion something that will take a whole lot out of my life!!

But that answer doesn't always come so quickly, and I need to reach OUT to let it sink IN!

KUTGW!! KOT!!
Yankel | My Ladder | Talking to Hashem
I'm just a dude, another guy on this bus.
Have a great day, unless, of course, you made other plans. ~ obbormottel
"Nothing changes as long as everything stays the same" ~ Dov

Re: My Maddness 05 Jul 2014 02:30 #234672

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WOW! very good to reach out BEFORE you search. Good job!

You are correct, Do we really need this? In fact, does it really give us pleasure? Furthermore: is it ruining our lives? Some very important questions.

But i agree with Optimistic, get to the core of the issue, the underlying reasons why you are sick. Then work to get healthy!

KOL! KEEP ON LIVING!
I am happy to speak on the phone. Please email me at dms1234ongye@gmail.com

My name is Daniel, I go to face to face meetings and I work the 12 steps with a sponsor. 

Re: My Maddness 11 Jul 2014 07:20 #235000

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thanks for the response all you guys.

I did not fall then, but last night I did slip.

Re: My Maddness 11 Jul 2014 07:46 #235001

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Better late than never! (meaning it would have been better had you reached out before slipping)

Now, more than ever, is when we need to be open and honest with someone about ourselves. When I am in danger zone I need to make sure that I am taking the necessary precautions. Slipping is a sure sign of a danger zone, it is in essence acting out on my lust just less extreme!

When I see that though, the "red alerts" have to start ringing really loud and I need a two pronged approach, defensive and offensive. I need to make sure that even though I am lusting that I don't act out, and I need to try and attack the base of why I am lusting!!

so if you can get in touch with someone who you can be entirely open to, then do that! If not, then use this awesome forum for a substitute until you find that person (or those people).

KOT!! KOP!!
Yankel | My Ladder | Talking to Hashem
I'm just a dude, another guy on this bus.
Have a great day, unless, of course, you made other plans. ~ obbormottel
"Nothing changes as long as everything stays the same" ~ Dov

Re: My Maddness 11 Jul 2014 09:01 #235003

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I love that opening post. Yes welcome to the madhouse, where we are all constantly trying to convince ourselves that killing ourselves is really the best thing we can do, that there is no harm. We won't die after all, all you are doing is slashing your wrists, what's the harm in that.
My Story
Only when we make our real lives sweeter than our fantasies will we reap the emotional rewards, the happiness of recovery. - AlexEliezer
Focus on making the right choices as they come up. - Skeptical
When I start to literally accept G-d's Will as guiding my life today, things start to change. - Dov

Re: My Maddness 11 Jul 2014 21:21 #235021

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MBJ
Yes welcome to the madhouse, where we are all constantly trying to convince ourselves that killing ourselves is really the best thing we can do, that there is no harm. We won't die after all, all you are doing is slashing your wrists, what's the harm in that.
WHOAH! Thats awfully depressing but a very interesting way to look at. MBJ try not to get too down!

:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
I am happy to speak on the phone. Please email me at dms1234ongye@gmail.com

My name is Daniel, I go to face to face meetings and I work the 12 steps with a sponsor. 
Last Edit: 11 Jul 2014 21:23 by dms1234.

Re: My Maddness 13 Jul 2014 13:32 #235041

  • chesky
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It was more depressing all the years I thought I was a hopeless Baal Avaira.

Re: My Maddness 13 Jul 2014 23:30 #235058

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dms1234 wrote:
MBJ
Yes welcome to the madhouse, where we are all constantly trying to convince ourselves that killing ourselves is really the best thing we can do, that there is no harm. We won't die after all, all you are doing is slashing your wrists, what's the harm in that.
WHOAH! Thats awfully depressing but a very interesting way to look at. MBJ try not to get too down!

:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!


Just an extreme metaphor, I am not considering killing myself.
My Story
Only when we make our real lives sweeter than our fantasies will we reap the emotional rewards, the happiness of recovery. - AlexEliezer
Focus on making the right choices as they come up. - Skeptical
When I start to literally accept G-d's Will as guiding my life today, things start to change. - Dov

Re: My Maddness 14 Jul 2014 00:28 #235063

  • lavi
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dear sparky,

get a grip on yourself. you are going to fight back. listen to the advice given by the chevra above.
you gotta reach out to others, and you gotta reach in to yourself, and you gotta beg the good Lord for mercy. realise this is your life, and it is in your hands to take the next step.

oh mbj, that is good you not going to commit suicide. i was just beginning to like you, and if you promise to behave from now on, then you can consider me your friend.
i love you all
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