This list is what I came up with right after I fall. Maybe you guys can relate. any comments or advice will greatly be appreciated.

1. I seem I think my way is the right way even tho it is wrong but I become really arrogant and still go my own way.
2. It becomes really hard to speak my mind
3. I have to second think everything I say and do, which makes me awkward.
4. I become a joke to everyone and myself, I stop believing in myself.
5. I become an attention whore
6. I start to not enjoy talking to people
7. I get very nervous in social situations
8. Looking to people's love and attention
9. I try to prove people that I'm cool :/
10. I become very confused
11. I question myself a lot
12. My self-consciousness sky rockers
13. I become cold am insensible to everyone's emotions
14. I lose my ability to honesty hear out what people have to says
15. I lose my ability to look anyone in the eye
16. I usually crave to leave the house
17. I start feeling the great need to talk to people to gain my confidence back
18. I become anxious and crave friendships but when I do it becomes awkward because I want to tell them my problem.
19. I hesitate when I have something on my mind to say.
20. I become scared BAD WORD REMOVEDless that someone will find out and laugh ay my addiction.
21. I become really shady
22. I delude myself into believe I can't do anything
23. I become afraid to show my face because of guilt.
24. I start not giving aBAD WORD REMOVED about anything, and anything anyone does becomes their fault in my eyes.
25. I become confused between when I am serious and between when I was joking, maybe bipolar, G-d forbid.
26. Loneliness grows
27. I forget what I want or I want nothing from life anymore.
28. I do everything just because I feel like it without any good reason.

Things I do to get back on track after jerking off and porn
1. Talk as much as possible at home
2. Talk to friends about but how I truly feel about porn
3. Express what I think honestly because it's the only way I'll feel good with myself
4. Express what I feel, don't hide anything
5. See how others feel about different issues that bother me
6. Say it out loud and talk it out
7. Write a little and learn
8. Get involved
9. Talk to strangers
10. Bring as much meaning into my life through words as possible

Great post. So hard to be real when our minds are elsewhere.

That really is a great list!!!

By me most of those things are products of feelings of low self esteem/insecurity, guilt/shame. Those cause me to hide, to doubt myself, and to look for other peoples' validation. My selfishness pushes me away from connecting to other people, helping them to make their life easier, since I am in such a bad place.

Thanks for that, and the second list is also great, I find that if I do those things before acting out, it helps me a lot.