plonialmoni11 wrote:
Pidaini wrote:
I learned that that too is a fantasy, we are here for a purpose, that purpose is to do what hashem wants of us. He wants us to have thoughts of lust and for us to find a way how to continue living even though those thoughts are in our heads!!
It was my self centeredness that wanted to be clean of those thoughts, becuase those thoughts aren't in my control iin the first place, so then why was I getting upset that they were there? Hashem put them there, for He wants me to serve Him by continuing living Real life even though they are there!!!
Thanks for you response. I disagree, The thoughts are something I have to learn to control, all the seforim talk about it. We need to train our minds to not think these types of lustfull thoughts. I enjoy the thoughts I find myself watching whole scenes in my head, its an escape. I can't just let it slide. I have to work on it. Perhaps the only way of dealing with them is to live a "real" life, while they are there. I don't know. But I do know that somehow I have to get rid of them.
You really scared me there for a moment
![](https://guardyoureyes.com/components/com_kunena/template/default/images/emoticons/new/shocked.png)
. I thought we were getting into a disagreement, phew.
We said the same exact thing as you wrote "
Perhaps the only way of dealing with them is to live a "real" life, while they are there." That is exactly what I was saying, and that is what the seforim say as well, they say that we are not supposed to delve in the thoughts, they do not say that they are not supposed to cross our minds (you could PM for mekoros, there is one place I know that it says that clearly).
plonialmoni11 wrote:
You ask "why do I want to stop"? I want to stop because I know that it is wrong. I know its not what hashem wants me to do. I know I love my wife and want to only think of her and I never want to have to think of another women. I want to stop, becsause I don't want to betray my wife's trust (which I have been doing for too long.) I want to stop because when I'm not in the P mode, I feel better about myself and I'm more productive. I can keep going. In fact there is no reason to continue to act out other then the crazy uncontrollable urge that attacks me the moment I am tired, hungry, upset, stressed, or anyother way weak. So the question is not "why" do I want to stop but rather how the hell am i going to.
Let me ask you though, the goyim of SA feel the same way, that they need to stop, and they aren't necessarily worried about Torah, so what is the feeling really?
I learned, and have heard it from DC and Dov as well, that my ego does not enjoy the fact that "
there is no reason to continue to act out other then the crazy uncontrollable urge that attacks me the moment I am tired, hungry, upset, stressed, or anyother way weak." there is something
inside of me that I cannot control?! that is controlling me?!
As Dov says, let's be real with ourselves, we are human,and that's how Hashem wants us.
plonialmoni11 wrote:
Pidaini wrote:
oh, and what is going to be different today? or tomorrow?
![](https://guardyoureyes.com/components/com_kunena/template/default/images/emoticons/new/wink.png)
I don't know. I'm going to bed its been 2 whole days and so far i've been very tempted and had thoughts all day. But I've stayed clean. I guess I'll keep on truckin' or whatever you say.
Have you opened up to anybody?