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Both up and down - but still proud of myself!
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TOPIC: Both up and down - but still proud of myself! 452 Views

Both up and down - but still proud of myself! 02 Sep 2013 23:24 #218257

  • bentorahyy
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Hi everyone!
I was recently out of town and I want to give myself a pat on the back for doing much better than I have in the past when I went away by myself. In the past the Y'H would really make his mark by reminding me that I'm alone and no one will know...etc. This time, with the help of GYE and being open and honest with my wife (which we have been discussing for the last several weeks - which has been very positive), I was able to not "act out" at all. However, I am still disappointed in myself that I "looked" - when it came to people in the street (I was in a downtown area much of the time I was away and everyone seems to wear - or not wear - the same sort of summer attire). The first couple of days I was pretty good about not "taking a second look" but after a few days it became harder to not look. (I am glad I am not normally in a downtown area regularly - I don't know if I'd be able to be omeid in the nisayon for so long!) So - I have sort of mixed feelings - I think I did much much better than before and I should recognize that but I which I had done better, but I want to update my 90 day chart but I don't know what to put. Is this considered a "fall"?

Re: Both up and down - but still proud of myself! 02 Sep 2013 23:37 #218261

  • cordnoy
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NO!!!!

KOT!!!
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
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Re: Both up and down - but still proud of myself! 02 Sep 2013 23:59 #218263

  • bentorahyy
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What's "KOT" stand for? I guess I haven't been around here long enough...
Ok - you really think that's not a fall? I guess I wasn't deliberately going out of my way to find things to look at but I do admit when people were around, by the end of the week I was definitely looking - maybe not gazing though. Perhaps I'm being too hard on myself. Thanks for letting me vent my thoughts.

Re: Both up and down - but still proud of myself! 03 Sep 2013 01:42 #218271

  • afreshstart39
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i think a fall is whenyou actually act out, (masturbate while looking at...)

what you describe might be at most a slip, and considering your past that you described you are practically a tzadik and i am inspired by your strength!

thank you for sharing

and Keep On Trucking!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My real name is Adam
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