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Self esteem issues
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TOPIC: Self esteem issues 463 Views

Self esteem issues 23 Jul 2013 08:53 #213045

  • his8sm1
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I only know low self esteem and intemal questioning
Is that a hallmark of our condition I wonder
I guess if we didn't care we wouldn't be here trying to stop
Are there people out there acting out who do so and aren't bothered like we are
Is there something so ingrained in me that enjoys the pain after I act out h
Am I an addict if I can easily go 30 days without
Just some of my thoughts right now
I wonder how many of us suffer from depression spectrum disorders like I do
I have ocd but I don't think acting out is strictly compulsive
I've always loved day dreaming and fantasising about living a different life
Maybe it's time I lived my own in the here and now

Re: Self esteem issues 23 Jul 2013 21:55 #213177

  • inastruggle
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interesting thoughts.

I don't think that low self esteem and internal questioning is necessarily part of it, but it probably is pretty common.

Caring enough to stop is already the first big step.

Do you feel that you enjoy the pain after acting out? IT's possible to just like the acting out without enjoying the pain afterwards.

Are you an addict? Depends what addict means...

It's definitely time to live in the here and now.

Hatzlacha!

Re: Self esteem issues 23 Jul 2013 23:43 #213233

  • his8sm1
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No I definitely don't enjoy that pain
It's the bit before my mind switches into like an auto pilot
I can easily go 20 days without but then I guess who cares what the definition of an addict is
I just wanna stop so can apply the 12 steps

Re: Self esteem issues 24 Jul 2013 07:04 #213267

  • inastruggle
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Auto pilot is never good, look at mesilas yesharim on zehiros.

12 steps are for addicts....

Re: Self esteem issues 26 Jul 2013 08:26 #213684

  • yearning2bfree
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I can go for long times without falling, but consider myself an addict because I want to stop, but keep on going back. Everyone's definition is different though. I like to escape into computer games - I think it feeds the same get out of reality thing for me.

Re: Self esteem issues 26 Jul 2013 09:22 #213686

  • chesky
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his8sm1 wrote:

Is there something so ingrained in me that enjoys the pain after I act out h

Just wondering what you meant by this.
Last Edit: 26 Jul 2013 09:24 by chesky.

Re: Self esteem issues 26 Jul 2013 18:17 #213723

  • gibbor120
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WELCOME yearning2bfree,

Why don't you tell us more about yourself?

Re: Self esteem issues 26 Jul 2013 21:10 #213753

  • AlexEliezer
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his8sm1 wrote:
I only know low self esteem and intemal questioning
Is that a hallmark of our condition I wonder

It's probably more on the cause side of things, rather than the effect.


his8sm1 wrote:
Am I an addict if I can easily go 30 days without

I think so.


his8sm1 wrote:
I wonder how many of us suffer from depression spectrum disorders like I do
I have ocd but I don't think acting out is strictly compulsive

There are several guys here with varying degrees of depression and ocd who are sober


his8sm1 wrote:
I've always loved day dreaming and fantasising about living a different life

Me too. This stuff we do is an addictive form of escape.


his8sm1 wrote:
Maybe it's time I lived my own in the here and now

Reality really is sweeter than fantasy.

Welcome!
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