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i need some advice
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TOPIC: i need some advice 408 Views

i need some advice 19 Jul 2013 03:43 #212668

  • abie14
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i am 17 years old. i need to bike tin order to get to my job. whenever i see a non tzinius girl i learnt to immediately turn away and forger her image. it works pretty well. but last night i was in bed trying to fall asleep and a bad thought came in to my head. it must have been there for like 15 seconds and i realized that i was motzei zerah i had no idea that was even possible. i felt very bad especially because i feel like i didnt do anything. of course i didnt touch my self. i need some adivce

Re: i need some advice 19 Jul 2013 04:41 #212676

  • cordnoy
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welcome

stop when youre young

speak to someone who you can definitely trust

perhaps do not trust yourself on who this person should be

bhatzlachah
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Re: i need some advice 19 Jul 2013 05:31 #212683

  • inastruggle
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KUTGW in the shmiras eainaim area, that's the best way not to fall.just turn your head away and forget about her.

It's possible that you were asleep when it happened and this was just keri.
Whether it was or wasn't makes no difference in my opinion.Forget about it, 15 seconds of fantasizing isn't a fall (though we should avoid it of course) and that means it wasn't your fault.

Just KOT and KUTGW.
Last Edit: 19 Jul 2013 05:32 by inastruggle.

Re: i need some advice 22 Jul 2013 06:09 #212907

  • some_guy
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Dear abie14,

I think you should look at thinks from a more positive outlook. Thoughts that "pop" into your head are out of your control. This is stated through out Tanya. Whether they stay there is up to you. You managed to identify and remove an impulse directly from the Yetzer Hara in only 15 seconds! I wish I could do that.

I am going to tell you what my rabbi tells me. It is natural for men to get these kind of urges and to desire women. Just by recognizing that you should not think about them or touch yourself, you have put yourself miles ahead of almost every other man in the modern world. It seems to me that you are managing them amazingly. Personally, I think you should go easier on yourself and recognize how well you are doing.

You may want to talk to your father or a close rabbi if you continue to be bothered by this. If you can not, this forum is open to you at any time. There are many people here who would gladly help you. If you want to talk to me or ask me questions, send me a message anytime.

--some_guy/Elias/Eliyahu
My Rabbi always gives me the same advice. "Be happy. The world is good. Just be happy."
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