I need your help forum!

Maybe gye should make a forum for this category,

I am sitting in a hospital where my father is hooked to a breathing machine, he was just admitted today, and I am freaking out,

I will be on this thread throughout the night, coming in and out checking on my father who is in the ICU.

Maybe gye can make a forum for people who are stuck in a crisis, and during that moment itself can get chizuk they need to be strong

Anyway,
My father has been suffering from a rare incurable cancer for the past year, the tumor moved to his lungs and is spreading
There is no known treatment, except for conventional chemo and radiation, and it has an 80% return rate

This morning he had trouble breathing and was taken in, something in his lung trapped air and they had to open it up,

I thought it was his last day, but it turned out that its okay, for now, as his illness is terminal and its only a matter of time.

Stress was always my trigger, it would send me right to the worst places of the Internet, and it usually made the stress worse,

I am in a compromised state, and without my wife I would have fallen along time ago

My wife caught me recently with my addiction, and I thank god for her catching me before this new crisis, I don't know what I would have done,

So I am here all night and could use a good talk to keep me going, thank god I am not near any unfiltered Internet, I only have a boring family room, with no computers, and a tv going playing commercials selling coffee but screaming sex! Is it just me or is the tv really this crazy, I don't ever watch, so I don't really know, but I think it's strange that scantily clad women talking in lascivious voices, and slow music in the background are selling coffee

Call me a right wing fanatic if you will

Anyway I am rambling, it's late
I need your help

It's a funny thing, when I am in a calm state, even if real prutzas walk by, I won't be triggered, but when I am stressed, like I am now, the night shift nurses are triggering me, Baruch HaShem the very thought of it all is disgusting, and I stop thinking about it, but the thoughts keep coming at me like a volley of bullets,

I can deflect for now, but how do I hold up?

Keep strong, Man


Refuah Sheleima to your dad.


Try to get away from the TV

Do you have a MP3 player or Ipod to listen to a shiur or music (I know it's sfira, but desparate times calll for desparate measures)

Do you like reading?

Get your hands on a good Jewish novel and zone out.


Good luck!

afreshstart39 wrote:


THE WHOLE WORLD IS CRAZY! NOT JUST THE TV!

Maybe find someone in a different time zone so you can talk in the middle of the night.

You are in a tough situation.

Tischazeik!

Can you give us your father's name so we can daven for him?
I hope he has a refua sheleima, and hatzlacha to you!

Refua shelaima,
I also had a hard time in a hospital waiting room, In A&E with my son, with a suspected frature (BH all is O.K)
The Goyim behind us were kissing away, a white couple with a black kid, my mind was doing overtime, trying to work out the story, and then the nurses.
They are really so low!
I thought I did o.k at the time with shmiras enayim, I caught up some Shnayim Mikra. But I found later the images and thoughts were still replaying.

The hardest thing is to keep Shmiras einayim, when the stress levels are through the roof

What do you think one can do.

Learning or listening to music can only do so much!