This question is for real. Before drawing the wrong conclusion about this post, please read the next paragraph fully (or better yet, the whole post). I'm open to feedback from all members of the forum.
I need to know if I'm a lust addict ... I don't watch porn. Whenever I see pritzut, I look away or take off my glasses. I don't listen to (non-closely-related) girls singing (when I know what they look like--see teshuvat Rav Ovadia Yosef; besides I try not to listen to music). However, my "shmirat ainayim alarm system" does not necessarily turn on when a modest girl is before my eyes. This is despite the fact that I find chizuk in both GYE chizuk emails (which I've been reading virtually every non-holiday weekday).
For example, I was curious to know what Tzipi Livni (of Israel) looked like, so for a day or 2, I was thinking about looking at a picture of her. (It was only later that I asked myself why I did not care what the other political officers of the Israel government looked like that I realized I was under the influence of the yetzer hara.)
As another example, one charity fund that I contribute to is a girls' orphanage in Israel. They sent me a link to a video on their website of a beautiful bat-mitzvah for many girls there. No pritzut. No sound (so no singing). I wanted to see if my donations indeed went to gladden the girls there. Baruch Hashem the link did not take me there. Was this the work of a yetzer hara of an addict or a non-addict?
As a third example, whenever the TV is on in my house, my eyes are drawn toward it, and it's only after seeing pritzut that I look away. (However, my legs are not addicted, so I have the ability to walk away.) Could this be TV addiction or lust addiction? (I personally think it's the former, but it's not that active in me, I think, because I have "computer addiction" [which is the incorrect term, because my addiction is satisfied whenever I read Torah emails or post on this forum, etc., but not when I use Microsoft Word, so that the correct term is "internet addiction"], and using the internet eases my anxiety. (My "computer addiction" is not as intense as that of some people, but it's there.)
It's possible that I slipped once because I read through "Windows of the Soul" several times and did not think it necessary to read the GYE shmirat ainayim emails that quoted from this book. What do you all think?
ImageOfYosefsFather
P.S. There were some other slips as well. Please note that if I'm a lust addict, marriage won't solve it (I'm single).
). kol hakavod! sounds like youre doing great; unless there's other info...but honestly, I get the impression that from a clinical perspective you are fine. from a spiritual one, probably doing pretty good too.
