iwilldothis wrote:
I hear what your'e saying nederman. I am up to Day 18 today. I did do a cost-benefit analysis and so far today is the hardest because I have more free time on my hands I finished my semester recently and its getting harder to keep myself busy even with being in Yeshivah. Everytime I think of going to my computer and do something bad, I always bring up the fact that its not worth it. At the end of day its not worth looking at bad stuff because I will again be sucked into a different world that is hard to get out of. Does it get easier?
Chaim
P.s. this is my new username
It only gets easier if you remind yourself when you have a stimulus to lust and you do something else instead. But if you don't at that time remind yourself that you have a choice then later you will not have that reinforced realization. You will not believe it more. So all that time spent not lusting will not help you the next time around.
While you are sober you can also be mindful of any positive aspects your life has now that it didn't have before. Do you feel good when you are in shul and you remember that you have been clean for a while? Do you feel good when you talk to someone and you know you have nothing to hide? Throughout the day try to be mindful of how you feel. If you feel better because of your sobriety, add it to your cost-benefit analysis. Every now and then go back and look it over. Do you still believe it?
You may have challenges, stress, etc. If you used to handle these by lusting you may benefit from reading about the best-known cognitive distortions. Talking (thinking really) back to the yetzer when it tries to sell you a baseless or inaccurate idea is the healthy way to tackle those situations. However it takes practice to be able to pinpoint just what the yetzer is saying. But with some effort it is possible. You have to sort of pay attention, in a leisurely sort of way.
Another factor that can make it hard is if you were not completely honest about the benefits of acting out (because it hurts to know that you like those things.) Your mind knows all the pros and cons and quickly does the math when the stimulus comes, so you need to know them too.
