Well, you can have that.
The truth is that married life is long and varied, it changes over time, and is different for everybody. There is no cookie-cutter husband or cookie-cutter wife. As long as you can consummate the marriage you should be equipped to at least get started. You know you have good intentions, and indeed you are obligated to procreate, and if you really want it Hashem will find you a woman to spend your life next to and you will also be together in olam ha-ba.
But you do have an obstacle to overcome, namely the secret suspicion that you really have no choice but to lust. The good news is that there is ample evidence that this belief is not accurate. Here you have a choice. You can use a support group like sexaholics anonymous, or you can measure just how much choice you do have, namely the cognitive approach. If you use this latter approach, as long as you can stay motivated thinking about your future happiness as a tatty, in a few days you will know that the lack of choice is just a mental con.
We know this belief is not accurate because there were times when we wanted to act out and we could not, and later we were suprised to see that the arousal had disappeared. For example, if I am thinking about sex and my Rav comes over to me I typically stop. Or else I might be thinking about sex at bedtime because I am looking forward to masturbating and then I unexpectedly pass out, and wake up the next morning and I run off and don't think about sex for two hours. And we also have a concept from the Talmud that we have a choice whether to be tzadik or rasha.
So in order to get strong you have to have a conscious thought (like a mental tape) that you do have a choice, and then readily move on to some engaging activity. What I usually remind myself of is the following:
"I cannot get aroused further unless I choose to think about sex. It doesn't grow by itself. If I engage in something else before I know it I will turn around and my arousal will be gone."
You can think this at any time, even when you are already very aroused. The idea is not to make it worse, and time is on your side as long as you don't think about sex.
At first it's important to use a fun, engaging activity. Be creative here. Think about the most exhilarating things you can do. After a few weeks it's not that important any more, because you are pretty strong.
Sleep is very important because it's harder to be mindful when you are tired. Bedtime was hard for me because I don't do anything engaging at bedtime, so at first I had a stiff drink to get myself to go to sleep. After a couple of weeks I didn't need the drink any more because by watching myself ignore the desire all day long I was more confident and I was able to just make my mind go blank, and then I fell asleep.
I would avoid certain behaviors that reinforce the belief of choicelessness that you are trying to disprove. For example, don't look away really fast when you see a woman coming down the street. Don't daven to be saved from the lust, etc. You want to act as if you were a healthy person who doesn't lower himself to thinking about sex but doesn't have a problem with it.
When you remind yourself that you do have a choice there may be times when it just feels like words and it doesn't seem to help any more. At such times play the reminder thought again but try to understand what it means. If necessary, remind yourself of why you are trying this tedious exercise, think about that little boy smiling at you.
It takes a few weeks of this to know in your heart that you are never going back.
