Hey Guys,

Just wanted to share something that I've realised. Guarding the eyes actually makes life easier and not harder.

A couple of days ago I was bored so I started flicking through a ladies' fashion catalogue. Soon I reached the lingerie section and because I haven't really looked at stimulating stuff like that for a long time it just blew me away. I quickly closed the magazine but as soon as I went home, curiosity more than lust drove me to check out their website. I just couldn't stop browsing through what is effectively soft porn for about 15mins before I forced myself to stop wasting time.

In bed at night, I could not stop thinking about those pictures and had an all night battle preventing myself from masturbating. The next day I had not masturbated, but was tired from having to struggle all night. Then to make things worse, my web browser had recorded my browsing history and kept sending me popup adds which enticed me to visit the website again and again. (I would not have gone to the website again so many times if it had not been brought to my attention.)

I still have not fallen and won't, because I'm not going back to that website and compromising absolute standards. BUT, without doubt guarding your eyes gives you peace of mind.

My dear friend,

I think I've learned enough here on GYE to add that guarding our eyes doesn't just give us peace of mind, it's at the heart of recovery (or staying healthy to begin with). Lust is stronger than me, if I don't avoid him altogether he'll eventually chase me down and eat me alive. Like the alchoholic just sipping a bit, it won't work for him.

Besides, it's a biblical transgression to look at even the most properly dressed women for pleasure, so certainly for us addicts it's probably forbidden to even open women's magazines.

Don't get me wrong. I'm pretty addicted to "soft porn" myself, and in 8 years haven't managed to stay clean for more than a few months, so maybe I shouldn't be talking. But I'm trying to give it all up with Hashem's help, so maybe I'm what they call "a recovering addict". Only Hashem knows, I for sure don't.

All the best!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chaim

Hey Chaim,

Yes if you don't see it, then it's much less likely you'll think about it. I've never 100% deliberately sat down and thought I'm going to masturbate to orgasm since the day I decided to quit, and I won't.

But, guarding our eyes from seeing soft porn adds less fuel to the fire, making our battle easier. Plus I guess, I'm not married or looking for a relationship, but I would imagine that not indulging in soft porn would also make us appreciate our wives and gfs more.

Thanks,

DL

You guys may find this difficult to believe but it's true. In the past few days I kept on getting pop-ups of women in lingerie. I could not resist the curiosity and the beauty so I looked and then I looked again and again and again. Then I fell. Now I've fallen, the pop-ups don't appear anymore, like the YH knows that I will defo say no to him after falling hard. Maybe even trivial things are in God's hands.

"Maybe even trivial things are in God's hands".

2 points - it's not "maybe, it's for sure". Second, women in lingerie is not trivial.

All the best!!!!!!!!!1

Hey Chaim,

I really didn't think that God would be concern himself with even trivial things. I'll tell you something a bit weird too. The popups of women in lingerie just chanced to appear at the very moments when I was vulnerable, and did not appear after I had fallen and when there was no further chance that I would fall further. Strange huh? Like the YH was in control of the popups all the time.

Thanks for the heads up too! The only reason I thought women in lingerie was trivial is because of the media - we are just bombarded with so many images of this type that it becomes acceptable, even though basic human nature and desire for sex is the same. I was an idiot, became overconfident and complacent and fell. Am being wracked with guilt atm, and accidentally broke a cup today, which apparently is a sign of a sinner (frightening and a bit depressing too).

Anyway, no use crying over spilt milk so trucking on.

Thanks,

DL

DL,

As far as I know breaking a cup is not such a bad sign, we break a cup under the chupa, right?

And like the experts around here always say, the key to recovery is in avoiding lust in all forms and tastes and smells, it's simply poison.

Love you my brother,

Chaim

We break it in order to feel bad... To remind us of the destruction of the Temple even at our happiest moments.

That being said it is more of a symbol of sadness rather than bad omen.

Thanks, Gevura. Maybe that's sort of what I meant, or maybe not.

Thanks Chaim and Gevura,

Well it def did make me feel bad for sure, cos it made me think of a vessel shattering and losing its light. Oh well, as Bards always says, FELL SCHMELL and keep on trucking. Learn, build the vessel stronger and don't beat myself up.

BW,

DL