Hi everyone

I have a question for the "olam." I find my need to act out usually comes when I am experiencing stress, depression, uncertainty, etc. I think it comes from a need to escape (which I know is unhealthy) I usually fall into a pattern that I act out, after a while pick myself up by satisfying my need to escape with less addictive methods like action movies, sci fi novels, or computer games. Eventually I get tired of it and manage to stay clean for awhile, until life throws a normal down my way and I end up falling again. I am a recently graduated IT student looking for work so with enough work I can get around pretty much any filter - the trick is making it hard enough for myself that at least I have to give it a second thought. I'm thinking about the TaPHSiC method, but I don't really have much money right now. If anyone has advice for me I'd appreciate it very much!

Thank You all my Holy Brothers

Hi GK and welcome aboard!

You don't have to do Taphsic with money. It can be anything that is inconvenient or uncomfortable enough to act as a deterrent. For example saying a bunch of tehillim, a partial day fast, a long jog or bike ride etc. However it shoud not be so onerous that you ould not really do it, because you are making an actual Shevua.

And when you need to escape, find something productive to do. Do you have any hobbies, or play a musical instrument? Or ever wanted to learn one? Or pick up another programming language?

Hatzlacha and KOMT!!!!

Gevura!

I actually do Taphsic on a Fasting system meaning if i start surfing in the wrong places, i have 5 minutes to do my made set up safe surf helpers .I have to make calls to chevra , say tehillim , read my docs that help me, take a walk or even call a family member. It can be some of this or more. The kiker is if i don't do these i got to fast tomorrow until 2-3 o'clock. So much to do in order to continue i will close the browser and stop. BH it works by me. This way we don't fall at all. Have to remember to renew it right away.

I decide to do 30 kapitlach Tehilim or $20 to tsedaka. (that's a lot of money for me right now) Sure enough on Friday I looked at innnapropriate images, and had a real teiva to rationalize - was it a "real" fall, etc. I feel good I said the tehilim, and hopefully it will make me think twice before doing this.

Giborei,

We can't choose what life throws at us, but what we can do is to choose how we respond. We can either get stressed out and let it all get to us and reach out for self-medication, or we can chill out and accept that there are some things we can't control so we may as well relax. I do believe that God controls everything in this world and all we can do is try our best. I also believe that he has our best interests at heart, and if he puts us through suffering it's only because it's necessary for us to grow and for us to get to the next stop.

I used to fall a LOT more than I do now because of stress. BUT, I realised that more than anything it was me allowing the stress to get to me, which would subconsciously make me fall. As Guard said to me, our lives are already PRE-RECORDED. Mate have faith, I was made redundant half a year ago, and within a month I had landed a much better job, with more money and better prospects. You will get a job soon, just don't stress and despair.

Another vort I read somewhere, was that life is slavery, and we're hear to work on our Tikkun. So hard work rather than escapism (which I love engaging in as well btw) is actually the easiest way out. In practice I know it isn't easy, but the pain of falling is a million times worse than the pain of just doing what we're meant to be doing. But a quick blast on the Xbox does work wonders sometimes lol.

BW,

DL