So this morning I get the scare I have been having since last year. I look at my bank statement and I see a charge I dread. My heart raced as I know I have not used the site in a year. Thinking back I realized that at the time I signed up as a yearly thing and the year was up and monthly bases started to apply. I immediately called up and closed it but now I have the fear of what else did I forget to close out at the time. I'm sure others can relate to the fear of the past catching up to you. I know I will be walking around with a thought of looking over my shoulders. I can either close the bank account so that way no future payment will be made involantary and from what I understand subscriptions to be if there is no money they simply put the subscription on hold or cancel till money is received but they do not send home anything(correct me if my understanding is wrong). Or I can leave it open and let everything run its course for a few months. That way I know and can close anything that comes up. If anyone can let me know in here or PM me about this I would be greatful. Thanks and y'all have a sober today!

I think it is good to have reminders and other things haunt us sometimes. It restores that knowledge that living honestly is so good. For as long as we tell the truth we will never have to remember tomorrow the lie that we told today, to stay consistent!

Others might be able to help you with the technical issue of cleaning this mess up, and that'd be great. But I just wanted to show you the silver-lining. There just ain't no easy way out, I guess.

Very true dov...to go further on what you said it also puts things in perspective as in where you see where you were and where you are now. One can't help but feel greatful to be out of that streamed mindset. Wait did I just use a classic y"h trick against it? Lol...anyway looking forward to the today....as for the technical issues I looked back at the statements and called all the placesthatcharged me to make sure I had nothing active or opened. Everything looked fine (inactive/closed/or canceled)...hopefully it stays that way.

Good morning Gye folks. I would like to ta about the gift god gives but is often not seen as a gift or overlooked. Its called the gift of moving on.So last night I fell (darn Sunday nights lol) and I am back on the wagon this morning as though last night never happned. I kept debating with myself that maybe I should put myself on probation and in a similar situation next week so that I can redeem myself and continue the count, or so that was what my y"h said. I was like after nah. A streak is just a streak made up of many "today's" . Convincing myself of probation is another word for the opposite of taking it one day at a time and it's a lie. Besides who am I racing and who am I kidding. It took years to bore in the addiction and honestly I don't mind the journey of recovery being just as long(although I would love shorter too). I am here now today and I want to do what's right today. Being stressed over a fall and sad that one lost the streak is counter productive (my last streak got me real close towards beating my best yet) so I just wanted to share this with all who get bogged down on a streak. In my opinion recovery has more then just one part of not doing "it". This is one of them and I am thankful to god for giving me this. The gift of moving on!. I know with all my heart that at some point it will be smooth sailing(do not mistaken smooth for addiction free) so long as I don't give up. In my last cycle I have already overcome challenges that was rare to get over in the past and I was extremely close to beating my best even with all of them. Even as I write this I know of a device that is unprotected and I can fully act out on it (I completely didn't remember of the device) and I am all alone. What's stopping me? I don't have the urge for starters but that's not because it's been satisfied last night (okay maybe a little) but most addicts once they start binging it's downhill and for a long time I was like that too. But I don't binge like that anymore because god grants me the gift of moving on. Anyway just wanted to share my feeling at being at the beginning of the count and how greatful I am for god to give me the opprotunity to start clean. Have a wonderful today all and god bless!

Sorry about your fall. But that was a beautiful post and you have the right attitude. Keep on Trucking and don't look back!

Gevura!

So here's something cute which I thought you guys might appreciate. I awoke from a dream last night and the last thing I remember is conciously refusing to take a second look at something triggering. It wasn't anything extreme just the typical view you would see on any given day in the city. So I'm thinking how awesome is that that even in the most private of worlds, the dream realm one has the opprotunity to work one one's self...lol...just makes me feel good.

Woho. that's already a whole new level of shemiras eynaim, loltz.

Good morning fellow members. As I write this I am sitting next to a open window feeling this morning's fresh air which is so perfect and peaceful. I do not have a shred of lust at this time and sometimes at times like this I make the mistake of feeling for a moment that this is a voluntary state of mind and all thanks to my will power.. It is not. It is a gift from god. Over the last week I have been feeling a lot of self pity which is rare but it was indeed felt. In the past the solution was simple, act out. I'll admit I did take a number of half measures but ultimately did not do actions that were so common. I did do what I do best which is to process emotion and feelings as they come up and never try to "control" them. There were times when however that I simply could not come to terms or process some of them. One of them being the fact that every piece of progress feels like a tiny piece of scrap that is given to me and I have the fear of losing it all before I get all the pieces from god to complete the puzzle and I'll admiti was a little angry on god for not giving me a "big break". Now as I sit by this open window I am able to process and internalize the emotion. what I can internalize is simple. I'm not getting "little" pieces, I am getting the pieces I "need" to be getting and each being so great in its own. Like this moment being so great(the weather, scenery outside, sounds of nature, a good prior night sleep, etc.) all aiding to me feeling no lust and other positive feelings, so to is every moment (or life's puzzle piece as I like to call it) is huge in its own and very necessary. I feel for the first time the slump of self pity is off my back. Ill be back to write some more in a number of days. Till then wishing all a progressive successful sober "today"

beautiful

You'll get there holy brother it's all about trying fight and fight eventually the realization of how fake and false that lifestyle is that u won't go after it or desire it but until that realization comes u have to believe ur doing this for urself that by staying away ull be happier and that u should hate the desire when it comes I spit when immodestly dressed girls walk by bc it trains my brain that that's the wrong way to live and bc they dress like that they destroy the beaty of human beings they dehumanize life. Life is about love searching and yearning for god helping others not being selfish for with ur time just love others ull see ull build real relationships and grow more and never need that ugly girl dress immodestly be well all the best my holy brother

Wow. If all that spit.ting works for you, that's great. But please stay off my side of the streets becs I hat slipping on lots of spit.

You are a lubavitcher? Or you picked this up from someone else who is? I guess they are using the eitza of the Alter Rebbe of Lubavitch he wrote abt in Tanya that sounds like that tool.

If it is working, fine.

You know however, that you may have meant something different in the second part if what you wrote - for certainly the Ish Emess of the Baal haTanya would not agree with this view:



They are doing mitzvas anoshim melumodoh - habit, society, upbringing...the sane reasons most of us frummies have probably chosen to dress the ways we do! So it is not them and their mistake the Baal haTanya is asking you to hate - but the mistake they are making....but really, that's not it, either. The thing - the only thing to hate here, is the lusting you and I would feel or are feeling b'shas mayseh she is there and we are here. Our lust is the spit, not her, not her misguided pritzus, not her misguided desires, not her at all, actually.

I may be misinterpreting your tool completely so tell me so, please. But it is apparent to me that by pointing the finger (or the spit) at her (mentally), you may avoid lusting for the moment, and that's great. But you have conveniently pretended that the only problem you have is HER. And it is not. It's YOU and what she means to you as a woman.

It affects (infects) men's view of real women, paying more attention to the attractive women at work or in their families (see the ones we get into conversations with more often) than to the homelier ones. Face it - we tend to feel they are 'less of a woman'. This is not helping - EVEN IF THE ATTENTION WE ARE GIVING THE ATTRACTIVE WOMEN IS IN FIGHTING THEM...Woops, I meant fighting our use of their images, voices, etc. Fighting them gives them more attention to us for we are considering them a power. As though she is the nukvah of the soton incarnate (begins with an "L")...this is not a joke, for I know there are some guys who walk around like that and thereby give more and more power to these women...and they are just basically misguided bimbos!

Aikido is the art of using your opponents energy against him, rather than fighting him, at all. I am suggesting a possibility that instead of these women deserving spit - learn to treat them to a generous helping of ignorance.

And it that does not work, then do what I and many others do practically every day, and daven for them. I talked about that enough elsewhere. It works every time, if you really mean it for their sake.

- Dov

I heard from a friend if u have inappropriate thoughts of a girl spit bc the thought travels down from the brain so u cut off that thought by spitting, the spit helps me fight and hate my own lusting. But the way they dress is against all morals they forgot how to dress only like 50 years ago people complained that showing Elvis moving his hips the way he did was to much. Can u imagine. People complain now the girl does not show enough. I used to run after girls in leggings and short shorts. I don't run after the girls with skirts I treat them respect bc they respect themselves. The girls that dress badly dehumanize themselves and everyone that lusts after them.

PLeas, EZ, I am not arguing with you or anybody. And the guy who gave you that advice was 100% right - but probably nor for sexaholics. Dead wrong for sexaholics. You may not be a sexaholic at all, though - how am I and who am I to know? Nobody.

I just want to point out that if your derech is not working for you one day, you can try the tools I am writing about. It is a different approach and works for many.

Hatzlocha my friend!!

And the spit goes for society, perhaps, but the individual in question probably doesn't know better- after all, everyone else does it...
Tznius doesn't come naturally, like not stealing or killing. How should they know if no one told them?
The proper emotion is rachmonus, I would think.

E-Tek wrote on 15 Aug 2012 14:59:

And I would think the proper emotion is


(or "ignoration")
-TZ