When you say
by the words 'my recovery', do you mean 'overcoming lust temptations'?

If that's what you mean then wow, are you onto something! When I look at the people I know with long term sobriety (and remember when they were 'young' in the program, too), I see a common thread. They focus on recovery, not on staying sober. In fact, the SA meetings I go to have plenty laughing in them, and the atmosphere of a good meeting is actually sometimes funny. We can laugh about how big a deal we make of some things - and have some real gratitude for the little things we overlook. You can't get heavy in this program. That's actually what it's all about. Rare are the meetings I attend that have not looking at porn or masturbating as their main discussion.

If recovery (and life) were all about staying sober, then all the steps would be about sobriety. But the addiction is only mentioned once in the steps. None of the other steps are about overcoming lust or staying sober, at all.

From the second step and on, the only goals are:
restoration to sanity in living (2 and on);
acceptance of a life that is focused on spiritual progress and not based on my instincts and defects (3-7);
and restoration of sound relationships that actually work with others including G-d (8-11).

Nothing there about overcoming lust. We come to the program knowing that we can't afford to act out our lust any more, simply because we have done it enough to know that we have lost that ability - it always ruins things for us, eventually. That's our contribution: bitter experience, hitting bottom. We come humbly after spending years trying to negotiate with our wives, trying to negotiate with lust, trying our guts out to negotiate with hashem to make us able control (and still enjoy it 'when we really really need to')...never letting it go. We really believed we should be able to partake just as the rest of the non-addicted world can. Nu. So we addicts were wrong, and that is our 1st step admission. We use Rav Elimelech of Lizhensk's eitzah in his Tzet'l Kotton (written for normals, of course), to open up to a trusted friend without shame and without holding anything back. The reward is freedom from the temptation, for we let go of ego that way and allow G-d in. As the Kotzker taught so well, G-d is only where people let Him in. And we keep doing that to keep surrendering the ego. Beautiful. (And it's even free!)

So steps 2, 3 and all the rest are only and all about how to remain in a life that is free enough of the kind of pain that will likely make us resort to to using our drug. It's a nechomah. Dependence on G-d by gradually reducing the defects of character we have that are not allowing us to effectively put ourselves into G-d's hands and accept ourselves, our life, and people (and Him) as they really are (steps 4-7). So none of the steps are about how to stop the pesky porn and masturbation habit. For that's what we bring into recovery ourselves! Like Hashem says he sent 48 neviim and 7 nevios - but we only quit and gave up and started to depend on Him when Haman got the ring. Same thing here - we are in good company . Hitting bottom is Haman getting that ring - it's all over. We give in.

So either we cannot afford to act out our lust anymore and are willing to make the calls on the phone to admit it and let it go when we feel tempted, to pray for the people we lust after and let them go that way, and to call out to Him humbly to take away the pain and help us walk on without it - or we still think we can afford to 'partake' as anyone else can. Then we lose our sobriety and cannot work the steps effectively. Nu.

So no, ChaimCharlie, you are right, but can reword it: keep your recovery on your mind all day - not your sobriety. Recovery is positive, growth, and done with G-d and people....sobriety is just not acting out - that's negative. Sobriety is just breathing. Recovery is living. No one enjoys life thinking all day about not suffocating, right? That can make a person kind of nutty, nervous, no? Yechh.

Lust is nothing but a distraction from the life G-d is giving me - real life. It really does not deserve my time of day. That's the goal for any sexaholic/alcoholic in recovery - being too engrossed in their real life of meaning to get involved with shtuyot. That's the whole fruit of recovery, I think. It's growing up. Sadly, we don't really like growing up.

And try to enjoy it on the way every now and then! You deserve recovery, not just sobriety.

Have a meaningful and clean fast, and no, it aint guaranteed- at least not for me- that it will be clean.

am having a very frustrating Sukkos so far (family). Fell this afternoon.