Hi guyz !

This summer I posted a few on the forum, just complaining how hard it was. B''H, it was a kind of meeting with truth...
Weeks ago, I looked once againfor shmutz and eventually fell down to the bottom line. I've been afraid of me for being so far, I just couldn't bare it for my own dignity.
So I made a decision to have a look instead in the White Book. Amazingly, I fell a real kosher craving for joining the Program. As I am a « loner » (not in the US and no SA group in my neighbourhood) , I searched and found a workbook to work the 12 Steps in a « serendipity 40days journey » ! A way of exploring the big book and the 12&12 with practical exercises in order to practice yourself to those fundamental steps for REAL LIFE.
What a mechayé ! I started it just before Pessah, which what not such a good idea because of frequent breaks due to yom tov / chol ha moed, etc. BUT, for the 1st time, I decided I could anyway start and see. I stopped just after the « first package » (Steps 1,2 & 3) and made a resolution do take out the best of this 11 days to go through Pessah in a « clean » way ans, as well, to resume it as soon as Pessah would be over.
For now, B''H, I resumed from Step One on last sunday this wonderul Program which would help me meet Shvuos with serenity and joy iy''H.

I made an important kabbalah, the famous Step 0, and I need to share it with you, because your support is critical in all my trip.

As long as the program will last (more/less 40 days) I decided that if I made one of these 3 things purposely : surf on Internet for shmuts, mast**** or enter the mikveh (my BIG place of nisayon) without any strong fences (i.e. with glasses or at a time I can possibly meet a trigger, etc.) then I should do 2 of the 3 following:
abstine from coffee one day until chatzos
take the stairs (I live on 5th !) for 24h
tell my wife (mainly for Internet...)

Oh, by the way, today I am 40 days clean in searching shmutz on Internet & 30 days clean in mz''l ! It works, just DARE to !

I would never have enough way of thanking my Maker for bringing me to GYE in order to come closer to Him !
Keep on growing !


PS : this workbook is available for free on www.12stepworkbook.org />

Welcome back! It's great to hear that you found something that works for you.

Sounds gooood!
Happy to be part of your step zero!

Keep at it one day at a time! Yasher Koaych on your commitment. I like the fences you put up.If you look into TaphSic method on this website, it talks about those in great detail. I am not big on making shvuois, but the double fence they discuss there has proved a real working tool for me.
If you can't get to a live SA group, there are phone groups out there, just a matter of time zone. You can always change your sleeping schedule:)
Hatzlocho,
Mottel