GREATTTTTTTTTTTTTT!

Lets go!

I'll bli neder post back by lunch.

k

sturrgle, ur good! Thats exactly how its supposed to be. I think I have to ask hashem  to get me off gue and back to work! lol. Will report back at the end of the day

Just having this thread and reporting back is GREAT, even if we do not actually daven.
Because it reminds us that it would be  a good GREAT idea.

R" Reisman once explained that he made a kabala to have kavan by the 7 'al'  that are listed in Nodeh Lecha in bentching.

He went for weeks without any noticable improvement.

But after going years without workin on it, its not reasonable to expect change just like that.

the main thing is to stick to the idea. keep it in mind, keep trying to try.

and then EVENTUALLY....

it shoots up.
Like the Aish bamboo video

k

ok, end of the day.
am i supposed to be asking these things out loud?
sometimes i only remember during an action that I want to ask for siyata dishmaya...
i just took a shower and asked Hashem for it to help me clear my mind.
but I dont if i voiced it or really thought it before the shower...
soon I'm off to bed, so there will def be a tfila there as well.

Kutan, ur so right. Gives me chizuk to continue even if I'm not doing much better.
Today was much better, and believe it or not right after I posted this;


something actually happened that got me off gue 
Pls hashem help that I shoud be more aware of your constant presence and my actions should reflect thus .

Ok. This is kutan here talking. Don't know if Pentele would agree, but for me, NO halachos for this. Not times, not method, not content.
Gotta be spontaneous, and its OK any way it comes.
The goal is to bring Hashem into our everyday lives.

Just remembered R' A. Miller ztl, who is enjoying a lechteger Gan Eden right now as we post, used to say that when you deposit a letter into the mail box, add a short tefila that it should takeh get to its destination.

Today there was real opportunities for me to daven. I have this secretary, a spanish young lady, who all the delivery people and phone repair men and etc etc go gaga over. I'd say nebech, but kutan also did, pre GYE days. OK, I was not that overt about it (I hope), I wasn't as bad as the verizon guy who bought her lunch and then asked her out, but whats the difference. Anyway, she happens to be not so 'prust' in speech and action, but her dress is terrible... typical of her culture. So, what am I to do?
Well, baruch Hashem there is a thing called monogramed / logo shirts, I sponsered it for my place of work (not that many people here and not that expensive ... www.queensboro.com), and ordered shirts for ladies that are pretty tzniusdik (Women's Two-Ply Pima Jersey Polo). Its been great since. But today, she for whatever reason, came in with the old stuff, some low cut thing. A couple of days before RH!!! >
I put in a LOT of tefilos today, that Hashem should get me through unscarred.

Of course, thats not the goal here. Here we are working on tefilos on things we thought we did not need Hashem for.

But i needed to share it anyway.

k

k,

thanks for sharing. I just davened to Hashem that He should give me the koach to quickly check the forum, i.e. this thread and mine, post a quick hello and go to sleep. it is late.

just to share, last night before i went to sleep i asked for a good sleep and the strength to wake up refreshed and on time.
this morning i woke up for the selichos minyan that i've been wanting to go to all week, for the first time.
it felt good.

i put in numerous other small tefillos (and some bigger ones) throughout the day.
it's going to take some work for me to make this a real and consistent thing.

well, checking in and out...

Sturggle

Your both so good.
Kutan,


The goal is to daven , about anything. I cant say it better than you said yourself;



My check in: I was a bit better today. I had some small tefilos here and there but none of the formal davening. So I don't know if thats progress or not

I am realizing that the goal is not the major tefilos, but the small tefilos on things we feel we do on our own. The goal is to bring Hashem into our mundane lives.
It is going to (it does) seem artificial at first. How long the first lasts, I have no idea. But it seems artificial.
My brain does not feel the need to ask Hashem to help me write this post. So when I do, it is more of a show, and external hollow act.
But as R' Miller taught me (and EVERYONE says this), the external acts will EVENTUALLY  (again, no idea how long) influence my inside.

SO,
I am for keeping on plugging, if you all agree.

Anyone else interested?
Not wanting to encroach on Taking Attendence, we are stil interested in forming a minyan :D

Hey, we cant let this slip onto page 2.
Today was MUCH better. I asked hashem for his assistance dozens of times during the day. And he came through, each time! Made me feel that much more connected. Gut Yom tov

chasei Hashem

Ki ...lo cholu rachamov ;D

Aseres Yimai Teshuva...
The Gemara says that NOW is the time that teshuva is accepted. The rest of the year, it needs to wait... (unless part of a tzibur).
Teshuva means getting close to Hashem.
Davening to Him is a wonderful way to facilitate that.
So today, Kutan, you need to daven on a regular basis. Hashem, help me finish davening with kavana (needed to leave shul early to get to  work). Hashem, help me function properly. Help me say the right thing. Hashem, help me with the decisions I'll be doing today. Help me with the conversations I'll be having.
Hashem, you are the MASTER and in control. Please help your small servant kutan.

OK.
So I davened today.
At least, a little more than usual.
Felt cold as anything. No feeling. Empty words. :'(

Too bad, kutan. You need to keep it up anyway.  ???

That is why we are here. The results are up to Hashem.
We need to do our part.  :-X

OK. So we are going to continue bli neder.  :D

As dessert, we are quoting a vort R' Wolfson spoke about this RH.

At neilas Hachag, one of the things he said was:

If someone feels down, that he wished to reach hights in his RH davening, and it passed by and he didn't feel anything....:

A mashul. There was a rich man who lost it all. He walks into the town's tzedaka office, still dressed as a rich man. Well, he needs to do some heavy explaining before he walks out with something.
But the poor begger, dressed shabbily, walks in, and they just look at him and understand.

Dovid said 've-ani tefila', I am the tefila.
In past generations, the tefilos needed to accomplish. They needed to be filled with concentration, with meditation, with awe, with love.
But today, we are so downtrodden and shabby, such weak neshamos, that we just show up, and say the words, and try the best we can... that alone is enough, because we ourselves are the tefilos! we are in such a sorry spiritual state, that Hashem cannot help but have rachmonus on us!

:D

wow. So true.
Davened a few times today, with concentration too.  hope I can keep it up, and get better. PLS HASHEM!