Chodesh Elul is here! Hakodosh Boruch Hu should help that with the Zchus of this post and trying to implement it, all of us should be matzliach in our “personal” battles. I put “personal” in quotes because at GYE, everybody’s "personal" battle is everybody’s battle. We have achdus!

What we really want in life is Kirvas Elokim, closeness to Hashem. That is the greatest pleasure and that will be our reward in Gan Eden, where Tzadikim will be sitting with crowns on their head and basking  in the radiance of Hashem.

If closeness with Hashem is what we crave, we have to accomplish this by bringing Hashem into our inner self on an ongoing basis. This is the meaning of Bilvavi Mishkan Evneh, in my heart I will build a resting place for Hashem.

The million dollar question is how to accomplish Bolvovi Mishkan Evneh?

The answer is that the more you have contact with Hashem, the stronger he will reside in your heart. Specifically, the more we talk to him, the more we start to feel him.

For the past few months, I had been trying in an unstructured way to speak with him at every possible chance, but it hasn’t worked for me. I therefore decided to make a list of the possible conversations I could have with him throughout the day and as a result, create a solid home for him within me. I”Y”H Bli Neder, this is what I came up with to do.

(Again I wasn’t successful yet but this is my hope. I am writing these things as if I have already done them because I have a positive attitude that Hakodosh Boruch Hu will be Mitztareif my Machshava to Maseh, transform my thoughts into actions)

Here is the list of short Tefilos/conversations that I will have with Hashem:
1. After I say Modeh Ani, I thank Hashem in my own words that he gave me another day to live.

2. I ask him for his help in allowing me to wash Negel Vasser in the right way, so my entire hand is washed and I am Mekayam the Mitzvoh Kitikuno.

3. After I wash, I thank him that I was able to do it, and ask him for the future that I will be able to do it right.

4. Before I go to the washroom, I ask Hashem that everything should go B’seder.  Many people have health problems in this area. (This will be repeated every time I use the washroom during the day)

5. After I finish, I thank Hashem that I was able to go. This and the previous Tefilo is even more important for Gedolim. (I personally don’t daven anything besides Modeh Ani until I have gone to the Mikvah and I am in shule – others would disagree but I have more Kavanah in shule)

6. Before I leave the house I ask Hashem to save me from Hezek in Ruchniyus and Gashmiyus. (This is repeated before every time I go on the street)

7. While I am walking to the Mikvah, I ask Hashem to make my Kavanas in the Mikvah good, and that I am not physically damaged in the Mikvah.

8. Before I wash my hands after the Mikvah, I ask Hashem that I make a good Netilas Yodayim.

9. I thank Hashem for a good Netilas Yodayim (This will be repeated every time I need to wash my hands throughout the day)

10. Upon exiting the Mikvah and kissing the Mezuza, I say the 1st posuk of Shema and tell Hashem that I love him and all of his Yiddishe Kinder (this I heard from Rav Avigdor Miller Zatzal)

11. I then thank Hakodosh Boruch Hu that he gave me the opportunity to get up early to learn before davening and that my learning should be Emes, and I should understand the Torah, remember the Torah that I will soon learn, be able to keep the Torah that I am about to learn, be able to communicate it to others, (if appropriate), and Hashem should give me the opportunity to learn full time. I also ask him that I shouldn’t get tired in the middle of learning. The same is done before I learn again later on in the day.

12. Since I will Daven Shachris right after learning, I ask Hashem to connect my heart to the words of the Tefilo so I can Daven with Kavanah.

13. After entering the shule, I go to my locker and ask Hashem to allow me to open up the combination on the 1st try so I don’t waste time.

14. After opening it up, I thank Hashem that I as successful I opening up the locker.

15. After Davening, I thank Hashem that he made me Daven the best Davening that I was destined by him to Daven and ask him for the capability to continue to raise my level in Davening. (The same goes for Mincha and Maariv).

16. After Davening,I ask him that when I go home, I will find everyone in a good mood and no “emergencies”. I will ask Hashem to help me in the area of shalom Bayis. I also tell him that I am going home to eat breakfast and I ask him to enable me to be Motzee all the Nitzotzos and be Misaken all the Neshamos in the food.

17. Before saying the Brachos reshonos I ask Hashem to help me make the Brachos in the right way.

18. After the Beracha I thank Hashem for enabling me to make the Beracha in the right way.

19. Before saying the Bracho Achronah/Bentching I ask Hashem to help me make the Bracho in the right way.

20. After the Beracha Achronah/Bentching I thank Hashem for enabling me to make the best Beracha Achronah/Bentching that I was destined by him to make and ask him for the capability to continue to raise my level of Beracha Achronah/Bentching

21. After eating, I ask Hashem to make me successful at work so I can support my family and give Tzedokah and perform the Mitzvos without any worries of Parnaso. I thank Hashem for giving me a job. So many people unfortunately don’t have one.

22. Throughout the day, hopefully at least once an hour but preferably before each new task, I ask Hashem for Hatzlacha.

23. Throughout the day, hopefully at least once an hour but preferably after each new task, I thank Hashem for the Hatzlacha that he will give me.

24. By lunch and supper, I will repeat the same Tefilos as breakfast.

25. After work, I will thank Hashem for another day of work and hope that I was successful.

26. I will ask Hashem before I learn with my kids that it will be a successful venture and I thank him that I am Zoche to learn with them.

27. Upon finishing learning with the kids, I thank Hashem for the best Seder he wanted us to have and ask him for continued and greater Hatzlacha.

28. Whatever additional task or errand I do during the day I will ask Hashem for Hatzlacha before and thank him afterward - no matter the level of success.

29.When it is time to go to sleep, in addition to Krias Shema Al Hamita, I will ask Hashem in my own words to let me sleep peacefully, allowing me to get enough sleep, and be energized in the morning.

30. If I have another Mitzvah to perform before I go to sleep, I will ask Hashem for Hatzlacha that I could in my own way, be Meychaid Kudsha Borich Hu and the Shechina.

If you add everything up, I will probably be able to say 50 short tefillos, with an average of 20 seconds per Tefilo. This comes out to around only 16 minutes per day! But what an awareness of Hashem I will I”Y”H create! It will be Hard to do anything wrong when he is right there with me. ;D


Heiliga Chevra, if any of you can think of other short Tefilos/conversations, please add to the list.

Besides the above, I have tried to speak to Hashem (Hisboidus) for one full hour a day. I have posted the structure and context of the “discussion” (based on the Sefer Bsdei Hayar from Rav Shalom Arush) in a previous post. I will try to find it tomorrow. It is late and I have to go to sleep.

Pintele Yid

Pintele Yid wrote on 20 Aug 2009 03:00:


Wow pintele yid, this is a tall order!!!
I thought for a moment you were describing the 'at every possible moment' scenario...!!!
:D :D :D

I have a suggestion. the balei musar would say that one should thank his wife for supper, before bentching, and then bentch. Since the wife who served the supper one sees, while Hashem, one does not see, just knows. So speaking to Hashem can't be real, can't be emes, if the corporal source is not thanked first. (heard from R' A. Miller many times)

So here's my small idea.
Scale back the program as needed, and arrange that the same amount of time... at least... be spent with your wife, building the connection.
How was your nights sleep.
How was your morning routine.
I love you. for no reason. Just because you are you.
Did the kids go off to school without a hitch (never happens, so schedule 10 minutes to listen to this one)
How was your ____ work/home stuff
etc.
Thank you for taking such good care of....
etc etc.

and do it for the purpose of developing a REAL kesher, you really want to get to know this person that you know for ___ years, you want to know all their aspirations and frustrations, not to comment and critique, just to know because you care and this person is important.

Doing this in sync with your kirvas elokim program may have a double wammy of a result... and will make the kirvas elokim more real and natural.

maybe.

whew.

I really overstepped my boundaries here, kutan should not be preaching, but to be honest, it was not me typing, the idea just flew in to my head, based on what you wrote and based on what R' Miller has said many times.

kutan

Tofasto Meruba Lo Tofasto! If we grab to much at once we gain nothing!

Reb Yakov Meier Schechter told me a few mounths ago that we can acheiv closness to Hashem Yiras Shomaim & virtually all blessings on whatever we need from Hashem by doing something we allready do every day anyway. All we have to add is "Kavonoh"

He said we have to make 100 brachos a day if only we would have in mind what we are saying that's all we need to do to gain sucsess in whatever we need.

The math is simple.

By thinking of Hashem throughout the day when we make theses 100 brachos we always have Hashem on our minds & close to us.

So how can we sin when we feel Hashem is at our side.

Also Hashem says "B'Chol Makom Asher Azkir Es Shmi, Ovoi Eilecho U'Veirachticho! Whereever you will mention my name I will come & Bless you.

BTW most of your payers you want to add are our already included in your daly 100 if only we would have Kavonoh.

Its very eazy to do since we are doing it anyway, but the hard part is getting used to it.

I don't think it's so much. It sounds long and tedious in the post, but in actuality all your doing is asking hashem for help every step of the way , and thanking him when it works out. In your own words. This makes a tremendous difference and brings reality to the constant presence of hashem in our lives. The brachos doesn't include everything you do throughout your day. Asking hashem for help in every step, increases our awareness that he is actually does. Merely thanking him, doesn't do that.

---Thanks pintele, I was just trying to work out my day tomorrow as I have a lot of things to do and such a short time to do it, and being forgetful I tend to forget to do real important things... I now realized that I didn't even ask hashem for help and hatzlacha.  Will do it right now

Hey TrYiNg, you never cease to impress!

If you can do this list, than no complaints please about not being in Yeshiva/ Sem !
You are creating a greater nachas ruach (according to the early chasideshe sefarim) for Hashem than the yoshvai ohel.

Someone can be in yeshiva all day but miss the forest, being so busy with the trees

OK. I'm going to bl'n try to work on this too.

....


And I thought this site was 'only' for shmiras eynayim....

If you and pintele can keep this thread going, lets report on our progress and see what happens.

kutan

PS: can we call you Rebetzin TrYiNg  :D :D :D

Efshar, I think it very much depends on the person and the situation. Some people will get there faster by working on concentrating on the 100 berochos, while for others pintele's tefilos would actualy be a short cut. Using your own words can open up your heart even when you feel that you're very far from concentrating on the words of the berochos.

BTW I just heard that when the Chofetz Chaim would wake up each morning, even before saying "Modah Ani" he would say -in his mama loshen- "Gut morgen Tateh". Think about this; he wasn't thanking or asking just acknowledging Hashem's Presence and politely saying Good Morning.

I think there's a lot to learn from this.

Thank you all for your wonderful comments.

Battleworn and EL, this is an issue touched on by Reb Nachman and elaborated by Rav Sholom Arush in his sefer B'sdai Yar. Please see this post http://rehab-my-site.com/guardureyes/forum/index.php?topic=561.msg6603#msg6603

The crux of the issue is that although the Ikar is the Tefilo that was established by the Anshei Kneses Hagdolah etc..., it is much easier to forge a relationhip with Hashem by using your own words -  since it is coming from your heart.

I also promised yesterday to give the link of what I talk to Hashem about when I do Hisbodidus. Here it is:
http://rehab-my-site.com/guardureyes/forum/index.php?topic=552.0

Kutan (Ari) - I appreciate your comments and I will I"Y"H also try to work this angle as well. We all know that the Poel Dimyoni of the relationship between Hashem and us, is our relationship between us and our wives.

TrYiNg - please add to the list if you can.

kutan shel hachabura wrote on 20 Aug 2009 12:47:


I didn't explain this enough in my first post, but the goal for doing this also helps out our battle for Shmiras Eynayim and all facets of Kudusha  - including Shmiras Hamachshava. This is because if you are constantly thinking about Hashem and even when you are not activly doing it, the times you did causes you to be somewhat consciously aware of his presense, so when the opportunity to go against his will presents itself, you will be in a much better position to win the battle. ;D

I hear.
It just seems too 'intense' for me.
But a little will be good. Do you have a suggestion on a small place to start?
kutan

kutan shel hachabura wrote on 20 Aug 2009 18:50:


Maybe try it for the first hour of the day.

Please let me know how it goes.

BTW, I started it today and I am already seeing Yeshuos. More details I"Y"H tommorow after my first day.

Any Chavrusa(s) I can do it with? Koach Harabim Adifa! TrYiNg - from your post I am thinking that you are volunteering. Anybody else?

Pintele Yid

Dear Pintele

I love your list.I want to take your idea and write up my own.I know that talking to Hashem in every situation is the key but if you know that you go through a structure in your day to day activity you might as well make the best use of it as you do your routine.especially the locker.I could end up sixty seconds late with my chusheva chavrusa if I don't get that locker open on the first try.

Also TrYing,until 7UP comes back, you are the official rebbetzin here.my first shiur from rebbetzin Trying-to thank Hashem when things work out- in your own words 

Yechida,

I am honored to have such a Choshuva Chavrusa in this project

kutan shel hachabura wrote on 20 Aug 2009 18:50:


Kutan,

Can you explain why it is too intense?

Pintele Yid

Pintele,

You've inspired me to make my own list. If not now, when??

I never said I'm doing it, only that I think it would be great to start  

Pintele, Yechida , will and Kutan whatever you're up to; Can we Try and post our progress on this thread? I started a bit today, but not enough. First of all, I felt stupid asking hashem in help with every detail, as if I deserve every tiny detail in my life to work out... I know I shouldn't feel this way, but I couldn't help it.

Just to Clarify.

I didn't say not to do it.

I said that we already do it with all the Meiah Brochos every day.

We do cover most of what you are saying, if only we would be Mechavein when we say them.

We can have many things in mind every day something else in the same brocho of lets take an example of Matir Asurim. we can just think about people in jail or we can say to Hashem "I thank you for unlocking my heart that was so Farshtuped! Or if your wife is in Labor having a hard time or not we can have in mind to unlocking the child that might be in a situation of being locked up.

That's how we make our Tefilos Personal not just on auto pilot, "same song another day".

The point I was making was that the Meia Brachos we are saying anyway every day. Its Mandatory! so why not do it right instead of adding more to are busy schedule then we might be able to handle on a steady bases.

If after making the 100 Brachos with Kavonoh you still could take on more the Hakol Revach! Aderabe! Do so!

But Don't lose out on the Ikar just because of a Volantary extra you took on & couldn't deliver so you gave up everything.

E.L.

TrYiNg wrote on 21 Aug 2009 03:54:

When the Rebetzin talks, I got to listen
Yesterday was an interesting day. I guess in the spirit of Kol Hascholos Kushos, I overslept yesterday by 2 hours ??? I normally get up at 5:00 and woke up at 7:00.

So my first reaction when looking at the clock was to get deppresed but I quickly thought that this was a Nissayon and it actually fired me up. ;D

I was able to do most of the things on my list. The tefilos before and after the brochos were hard to remmember but I would say that I accomplished 70% of the brochos.

I also had a post-surgery Doctors appointment and I prayed that I would get a good report and that he wouldn't hurt me too much while checking me. B"H both Tefilos were answered.

In general, I was fired up the entire day from this new project and today as well. This morning's davening was extra explosive. ;D I davened in Emunas Yisroel and was firing away. I was also very happy the entire day as well as today. I feel Hashem is really with me so how can I be sad?

I also had an interesting exerience that I experienced several times since I really started to work on Shmiras Einayim. I was in the car service going to the Dr. and while we were waiting for a red light, a lady opened a car door next to our car. My glasses were off (of course :D)and I wasn't focusing on her. But I noticed the car service driver (who is an irreligious Russian Yid) looking and looking and looking...I had he feeling of how "low" and "base" this looks to a third party observer and this is how Hashem watches me when I take that extra look.  What rude awakening!

This hasn't been the first time I noticed this and unfortunately the other times didn't involve Russian drivers - V'hamaiven Yuvin. It looks even worse when the person staring has a beard or long Peyos. :'(

Sorry for my digression. Back to the subject, it was a good first start. I hope to do more and I"Y"H I will. Hope everyone had a similar experience.

Have a great Shabbos.

Pintele Yid