...about the wife, it's not wise to go into all the particulars and all the gorey details.  The main thing is she should know you're working on this (and she knows by how you act; you don't have to--and really shouldn't--get into lenghty philosophical discussions about the source and significance of this particular addiction).  Such talks end up being counter-productive.

But, it's good she knows a little bit now--gives you more room for recovery.

--Elyah

Hey Mr. "Low Man"
You sound like you made a lot of progress
Kol HaKavod!

[BTW if you ever [i]do[/i] find the answers to the questions about yankee doodle- let me know ]

LastTryHope,
i do hope this is your last and most successful try...
you know what they say about skydiving? you only need a parachute if you plan on doing it more than once...

as Someone suggested, counting the days can be good but if it creates a feeling of pressure and a build-up towards "when can i get my next release?" then forget the counting. there is a good line "it's not the quantity, it's the quality of sobriety". meaning if you feel like plotzing after x amount of days then something is amiss. we need to find a way to live without feeling like a wound-up matchbox car.

it sounds like you are making progress. kol hakavod!

ZemirosShabbos wrote on 22 Feb 2012 23:01:


sorry to contridict you but there IS a way to skydive without a parachute ;D
ZemirosShabbos wrote on 22 Feb 2012 23:01:

that is what i feel. i had long periods of sobriety but that is what happened each time
need ideas what to change

LT

Hey, good to hear that you went for breakfast with your wife! It seems you were quick to take action  8)

last try(hope) wrote on 22 Feb 2012 09:44:


Im very sorry for having used the word "win". It was utterly the false word to use. For me, as an addict, I cannot think about myself as a bad/good person - just as a sick one. Therefore I also think, as with cancer, that I will not get any "credit" for going to chemo - its just something I would do to survive. Maybe thats why I shouldnt say "giving up ones struggles" - but more like "letting go and letting G-D" (handle the sickness). For me struggle always indicates a fight, which would indicate good and bad. Just like a cancer cell isnt evil, its just mutated, I dont think we can allow ourselves to see addiction as something evil. For me this is a paradigm shift, and although I can write about it, Im not sure I really internalized it yet. In the end I guess that doesnt matter either, since actions count much more anyways. Which you have taken!!

Let me know if Im completely offtrack here...

SO

last try(hope) wrote on 23 Feb 2012 06:11:


Here are some ideas for you:

www.guardyoureyes.org/forum/index.php?topic=4870.msg128036#msg128036

Good luck,

--Elyah