i accidently stumbled upon something triggering, and it isn't leaving me.
some times i feel it will be better to give in and it will leave me alone instead of the whole day thinking about it  :-[

LT

it's FAKE change the subject

did you ever wonder why yankee doodle used a pony instead of a horse?
can a pony support the weight of a grown man?
maybe eh was a child, is that why we sing the song to children?

last try(hope) wrote on 13 Feb 2012 11:59:


What are you doing to get rid of it?

--Elyah

nothing
went to concentrate on the work i have to do, and went to a public place
(told myself that it isn't worth to count again 80 days)

i feel bad maybe it wasn't only a-stumbled upon something triggering- it was closer to looking for trouble, looking at the facebook of a lady that works with me, i should have known better.
so now the Y"H is telling me- anyway you fell and need to count again at least have a bit of fun before :-\

LT

last try(hope) wrote on 14 Feb 2012 09:15:

What do you mean "nothing"!?  >
Did you find any answers to the questions i asked you??

Have you read the GuardYourEyes handbook yet?

TehillimZugger wrote on 14 Feb 2012 11:32:

i mean i didn't do something active to stop thinking about it
a day after still thinking about it  :'(


TehillimZugger wrote on 14 Feb 2012 11:32:

have no idea what is the answer
i am a low man , i like fake thing . i like good food i like good pictures what can i do about it?
finishing the post with a lot of frustration on myself

LT

Eye.nonymous wrote on 14 Feb 2012 13:40:

most of it
remember some

last try(hope) wrote on 14 Feb 2012 14:40:

I like fake things too, and looking at facebook pages of girls I know, and good food, and chocolate, and good pictures, and good cholint, and singing yankee doodle, and reading alice in wonderland.

BUT i know that while reading alice in wonderland and singing yankee doodle won't do me much damage [as long as i don't do it in public ;D], engaging in lust related activities definitely will!

I also know, that I can't stop myself from these lust-related activities, as an addict no amount of will-power can suffice. And telling myself that I'm a "low man" doesn't help a whole lot either.

The ONLY thing that helps me is whipping out my phone and dialing a fellow GYEer...

Hatzlacha Rabbah!

last try(hope) wrote on 14 Feb 2012 15:45:


Rather, have you DONE any of it?  I have found that trying to THINK differently in this struggle doesn't help too much; not unless it is accompanied by taking different ACTIONS--and taking action is what matters most.

--Elyah

I took some actions- installed K9 & webchaver, made a neder not to go in to news sites(the non frum). i try 'shemirat einaim' a lot more seriously.
2 days ago my wife saw an add for gye and asked me what do i think about it, she saw me freeze. that night she asked me again so i decided to tell her i am here (she knew i had problems some time ago and thought it stopped, i informed her that addicts stay addicts ??? and she is willing to help).
when i started the 90 days i felt so far from P&M but now 89 days away i realy feel the need  :-[
i almost went now to the comp to fall but decided to update to 89 days and update here.

it is so frustrating that even though i try to keep away i accidently stumble upon stuff and it makes me go crazy

hope soon it will be better

LT

I would try and forget 89 days. I would try and take it day by day (says the guy on his second day...). Could you take your wife out to dinner?

Ask for Help. Give your struggles over to the only One who can really truly win. He Will help you.

so

Someone wrote on 22 Feb 2012 08:56:

we went for breakfast  :D

Someone wrote on 22 Feb 2012 08:56:

he is sooooo good at wining he doesn't need me to win
he could do it all by himself.
(about giving all the credit to hashem- i don't realy understand it. now B"H i wake up at 5 a.m for chavruta before davening, i daven to hashem to wake me up on time otherwise i would never wake up, does he take all the credit or do i also take some? :o)

LT

last try(hope) wrote on 22 Feb 2012 08:21:


Action!  That's great.

--Elyah