Hey, I am new here. How does this site work?/ I NEED HELP!!

Truthy wrote on 10 Jan 2012 01:29:


Take away the word "new". The fact is is that you're here and that's what counts. Take time to see what part of the website works best for you. I haven't gone through much, as I also just started, but I feel like I need the support of this forum first before I go into all the other options. Just recently I started reading the "Attitudes Handbook" and it's answered  a good part of my questions. There is so much I haven't gotten to yet. Also, I get the daily chizuk emails. They're a nice idea of what the site is all about and how it can help both you and I in our individual, yet similar, joint issues.

All the very best!

WELCOME Truthy!  We're glad to have you with us.  Why don't you read through some of the GYE material for starters.  The links are included in the welcome package.

Here it is...

Welcome to our community, you have finally come home!

GuardYourEyes (GYE) is a vibrant network and fellowship of Jews of all affiliations, struggling to purify themselves and break free of lust related behaviors. For the first time, there is somewhere to turn to for help in these areas. We're all in the same boat here. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama  .  Once you've arrived, there's no turning back. Everyone here will just grab a hold of you and pull you up with them!
 
In the last couple of years, the GYE network has helped roughly 1,000 Jews get back on a path of sanity, self-control and healing and has touched the lives of thousands more. GYE has become known throughout the Jewish world as the number one address for dealing with these challenges which have reached epidemic proportions. 

The tools of our recovery program were developed with guidance from the best experts in the field, such as Rabbi Dr. Avraham J. Twerski, and through the personal experience of hundreds of Jews who successfully broke free. We use a unique approach that recognizes that there are many different levels in these struggles.

Our network is comprised of a website, a pulsating forum, phone conferences, daily Chizuk e-mails, support hotlines, therapists, live 12-Step groups and a program of recovery for all levels of this struggle/addiction.

All our work is free of charge and we zealously protect the complete anonymity of all our members.

Here are some quick things you can do to help you jump straight into your journey:

1) See the "GYE Program in a Nutshell" (Right Click the link and press "Save Link/Target As" to save the PDF file to your computer) that can help you quickly identify at what level of the struggle you are at, and which tools and features would help you most at your particular level.

2) Install a strong filter (see this page for more info). It is hard to break free of this while having all the garbage within a mouse click away.  The filter gabai at filter.gye@gmail.com will hold the passwords for you. We also highly advise installing "Reporting Software" such as webchaver.org to give you some accountability.

3) Join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day.

4) Join the 90 Day Challenge. Scientific studies have shown that it takes 90 days to change the neuron pathways created by addictive behaviors in the brain.

5) Post away on this forum, where hundreds of yidden like you exchange chizuk and post logs of their journey to recovery. You will internalize that you are not alone, and you will learn the techniques and attitude that work for so many others.

6) Join our free anonymous phone conferences, led by an experienced sponsor.

7) If you need more general guidance, write to GYE’s helpline at gye.help@gmail.com or call the hotline at 646-600-8100.

8.) Download and read the "Guard Your Eyes Handbook" (a hard copy can be purchased for cost price over here). This handbook outlines the GYE approach in detail, and makes our network much more effective and helpful for people. The handbook has two parts:

A) The first part, "The 20 Tools", detail suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. No matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!

The second part, "Attitude & Perspective", detail 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth…

Our souls cry inside of us, but we have accustomed ourselves to block out that cry. Today we can begin to be who we really want to be.

We are here for you.
www.GuardYourEyes.org
GYE E-Mail Helpline: gye.help@gmail.com
GYE Phone Hotline: 646-600-8100
Help us help others: Donate Here

Truthy wrote on 10 Jan 2012 01:29:


Welcome Truthy!
This site doesn't work.  You work.  We've just a bunch of guys struggling with the same temptations you are.  But we've learned a few tricks that are working.  Start by reading the GYE handbook which you can find on the www.guardyoureyes.com homepage.  Participating in this forum can also be helpful to get your questions answered, share, vent, and give others chizuk -- all part of the recovery process.

First it's helpful to determine if you're a sex/lust addict.  You can check out www.sa.org to see if you meet the criteria.  Or maybe you already know.

Truthy wrote on 10 Jan 2012 01:35:


If you have tried to stop and can't, it's probably not just a phase, but an addiction that just keeps getting stronger.

Giving it up to Hashem is a concept many have difficulty understanding at first.  I did.  But you don't have to understand it to make it work.  You just have to do it.  (more on this in a minute)

Regarding believing in Hashem, and that he runs the world:
I take it you are basically frum and believe, but have questions, doubts.  All the more reason to try turning to Hashem for help with this, because it will build a new bond with Him as you turn to Him for help.

In addition, if you are truly struggling with emunah issues, there is a wonderful series of lectures on emunah, 24 hours worth, starting with proving there is a creator, matan Torah, all the way down to the validity of the Torah and halacha we have today, and answers to the Holocaust, other religions, other branches of judaism, why bad things happen to good people, and much more.  I've listened to the whole series several times and it gave me tremendous chizuk, as well as the ability to answer questions of doubters or the curious (including my own children).

Here's the link: jdzign.com/ani/Order%20form%20110804.pdf (order all 3, listen in order)

Now regarding turning the battle over to Hashem--
Just say it.  Feelings follow actions.  So when lustful thoughts or images enter your mind, or if you are feeling tempted to seek any form of forbidden pleasure, start davening RIGHT AWAY.  Here's the nusach I use:

"Ribbono Shel Olam, I am powerless over lust and my life has become unmanageable.
Only you can restore me to sanity.
I turn my life and my lust over to your care and ask you to please heal me from this illness of lust.  I don't want to lust, I only want You and a relationship  with You and Your Torah, [and appropriate attraction to my wife].  Take my lust.  Please, take my lust.

You are giving up lust itself.  You have no use for it.  No control over it.  You are giving it to Hashem to manage for you.  One day at a time.  One nisayon at a time.  Just say it.

Alex

thanks alex! I really appreciate your kind words...

The site u sent me to for the shuirim was actually a form to fill out to buy these shuirim?? Is that the right place ? Does it cost to listen?

Yes, it's an order form. The CD's or MP3's are for purchase.  If the price is too high, you can call and they'll probably take what you can afford, or set up a payment plan.  It's worth it.

thanks the price is too high and i cannot possibly set up a payment plan... there is just too much going onin my life right now.. but I am trying to find this out in different ways now, I am in israel studying so hopefully ill find God here. thanks

Truthy wrote on 13 Jan 2012 01:19:

You picked a good place to look for G-d .

See if one of the BT yeshivos like Aish has it in their library.

This was in today's chizuk email....

Gevura ShebYesod wrote on 15 Jan 2012 16:31:


Oh, c'mon, man! You can't do that to me...   ....a.k.a it's Someone's parnassah VS. My parnassah Who will emerge victorious?!  Sorry, got carried away a little bit 

Say what????  :-\ :-\

In my perfectionist mind (I'm working on it, B"H), it boils down to whether I can afford to pay the money for these shiurim to help someone in their pursuit of parnassah and ultimately ability to spread their Ani Maamin foundation versus the "I can't afford to pay for something like that, ESPECIALLY when it's free and available just like that......

A: I'm not sure they are the same shiurim.

B: If they are, I assume that they are posted with permission. The charge when you order them is to cover the media, shipping and handling etc. downloading costs them nothing.

Truthy was the one that was asking for them, anyway...

All the best,

Gevura!

Thank you that is the best that i can hope for!! I really appreciate this.. I cant get over this but people really care about others... I was sure you forgot about this... because todays day that is the way of the world. Thank God you are from a different, better world!!