NeiroYair wrote on 25 Jan 2012 02:33:

Usually, one joins when it becomes more painful not to join.

It was a process.  First I was involved with the forum.  It helped but I was still falling alot.

Then I joined Duvid Chaim's phone conferences.  That helped but I was still falling.  Less often, but falling nonetheless.  I saw that the anonymous phone conferences wasn't a strong enough recovery plan for me; I needed real fellowship and real accountability with people I can see for real--face to face.

So then I joined SA.  And I am definitely in a much stronger place in recovery as a result.

Besides...

I saw that all the ideas that were helping me out the most on the forum, the ideas that were making the most radical improvements for me in my life...

...were mostly coming from the 12-step program.

And, at first I thought I would just do 1 cycle of Duvid Chaim's calls and then "know the steps," and be set for life.

I see, though, that the steps are tools for stopping to look at p*rn and M*sturbation, they are tools for dealing with life; it teaches me how to relate to people and to my emotions in a healthy way, instead of the unhealthy way I have been dealing with them all my life until now.  Change takes time, but progress is a daily possibility.

When I can deal with life on life's terms, and with other people too, I don't need to run away to my "drug of choice" so much anymore.

I see that the 12-steps have made a huge difference in my life.  I don't attend meetings because I "have to" and because I want to fight this urge to m*sturbate or whatever.  I attend meetings and work the steps because I want to.  (The fact that I NEED to in order to stay calm and happy throughout the day, really, is beside the point.)

Stop by my thread (Eye.nonymous Official count, in Wall of Honor); you'll probably find it interesting.  (It's a long thread; Read the last few pages there, for starters).

--Elyah

It was very easy for me to decide but still difficult to show up the first time, multiple family members over the years in different programs, GA OA NA now SA.  Internally, i just knew this would be integral to my recovery.
Hatzlacha in all things GOOD.
chaimyakov

dov wrote on 24 Jan 2012 17:46:
That was addressed to TehillimZugger...but I love you too, 'NeiroYair' and those are not just cheap words - if there is anything I could do for you, I would, just ask.

Hatzlocha with doing what you need to do, whatever that is.

As the Book says, the only way people join a 12-step program is when "their own enlightened self-interest" dictates them so. So if one feels they can deal with this or any other problem on their own, there is nothing in the world that will make them change their mind...until they hurt so much that their self-interest will thrust them into recovery.
The GYE has a concept of "hitting bottom while still on top" which I interpret to mean "learn from other people's mistakes" but if one really is an addict I don't beleive learning from other people's bleeding noses is possible.
Hatzlocho.

Please see AA's book "Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions", pages 22-24.

Thank-you, and ah guten (not gluten) chodesh!!

Certainly non-gluten!
And I stand corrected, you CAN keep your job and get yourself into recovery at the same time
I wonder, Dov, you know these books by heart chapter and verse, or did you takka have to do a reference check?

I do not know any of it by heart, actually. But having heard it in meetings over and over helps keep it somewhere in my head, so when I need it I can flip around in the books until I find it.

Gevalt. Anybody who can pass a 'pin test' with the Big Book probably went totally insane when AA central office changed the pagination in the 4th edition!! (serves them right)

dov wrote on 25 Jan 2012 16:39:


I was well aware. It was still very compliment worthy, though and right on target. Had you not said it I was poised to write something similar.....

Neiro My personal opinion is that you think to much you have to act (now because you are a perfectionist youll be thinking    i should be acting stop thinking ) nothing in this world is black and white all or nothing nobodys perfect that is the mussar you should be learning when you take away the self created stress of having to be perfect you fight the addiction much easier alot easier You have to accept yourself and admit you are not perfect AND CANNOT BE perfect you will than open your heart and mind to new ideas 
            I say all this from 2 years of working on this middah.My rabbeim assured me from learning mussar and my rabbeim are huge.JUST CHILL AND RELAX you dont shtieg less when you are relaxed

      I hope ypu succeed in breaking your extremism and addiction besiyato dishmayo

How are you doing, Neiro?