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TOPIC: I Fell 2341 Views

Re: I Fell 17 Aug 2009 21:37 #12838

  • Lechayim
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Kutan you really have a strong will to help bh. Thanks to you and all the others here!  I even see your monitering my progress of exactly what i wrote earlier times! You write "Some people find that it helps to spend time (say when you're on line at the bank, or whatever) visualizing yourself in the situation, seeing yourself stay  in control... and taking pleasure in the good feeling that comes with that. Being proud of yourself..."
Listen if i can put this some how in a package and remember how good it feels when stay in control or worse to package how bad it is that day when i lose control .That would be great. However this sickness we forget the next day how rotten we felt yesterday!!! I'm not sure why but i have that many times. I'm working on it. Haboa Letaher Mesyin loi Min hasmaim. We all found a place here Bezras HKB"H.
Last Edit: by Good luck.

Re: I Fell 18 Aug 2009 07:00 #12915

  • Eye.nonymous
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There's no reason why you can't do both--nedarim and 12-steps.  A solution for the short-term, and a solution for the long-term.
Last Edit: by allstaff.

Re: I Fell 18 Aug 2009 12:03 #12995

LOYNATA HOILECH wrote on 17 Aug 2009 21:37:

Kutan you really have a strong will to help bh. Thanks to you and all the others here!  I even see your monitering my progress of exactly what i wrote earlier times! You write "Some people find that it helps to spend time (say when you're on line at the bank, or whatever) visualizing yourself in the situation, seeing yourself stay  in control... and taking pleasure in the good feeling that comes with that. Being proud of yourself..."
Listen if i can put this some how in a package and remember how good it feels when stay in control or worse to package how bad it is that day when i lose control .That would be great. However this sickness we forget the next day how rotten we felt yesterday!!! I'm not sure why but i have that many times. I'm working on it. Haboa Letaher Mesyin loi Min hasmaim. We all found a place here Bezras HKB"H.


Dear Loynata Hoilech,
Yes. It is true, I have been following your progress. I really care on how you are doing, and I feel with you on every fall.
the reason is that your first post brought tears to my eyes. Literally.
You come from a sheltered background. You are busy with providing parnasa for your family.
This is all VERY noble.
and yet for some reason, that is as unfathomable perhaps as the holocaust of WWII, you have been thrown into a lions den on nisyonois, through the internet, the type of which never existed since shaishes yimay b'raishis. What does Hashem want from us? Are we malachim? What are we to do?

But Hashem has his ways. He always gives us a pesach.
It is GUE. In the internet itself he provided a solution.

Yet, you don't seem able to benefit from the site. I don't know why. Maybe your English is not good. maybe you don't have the patience needed to read through all the posts (although it is worth it, once you do it!). So I really feel for you.

I really do.

kutan
Rashi, Breishis (10:25)
Last Edit: by amber123.

Re: I Fell 20 Aug 2009 09:33 #13439

  • the.guard
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Dear Loynata, sorry I didn't see your post till now. (I am so busy, I don't get to read the forum as much as I wished). It seems that you made the neder in a very smart and safe way. You didn't make it directly against the behaviors, but rather around them, in such a way that you know you can for sure keep them. Very smart. And like Will said, the trick is to find the nedarim that work for you and renew them before they are up. Make sure to write them down, so it is easy to renew. and if you find a loophole, quickly make a neder to block the loop-hole, and add it to your list... Before you renew the nedarim, check if perhaps something needs an update, and add it in to what you wrote before making the new set of nedarim.

As you find what works well for you, you can make the nederim for longer and longer periods of time.

For a frum addict, nedarim is truly a wonderful solution - and pretty much a MUST, and I believe they can help even for the long term, if the nedarim are made wisely...

But of-course, continue with the 12-Steps as well. That will teach you a whole new attitude in this struggle which will make the whole thing so much easier (and easier to keep the nedarim too! )
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
Last Edit: by changinggood613.

Re: I Fell 20 Aug 2009 11:51 #13443

Sh'koyach Guard for helping.
You seem  to be able to understand and help everyone.
much appreciated,
kutan
Rashi, Breishis (10:25)
Last Edit: by specialonegye.

Re: I Fell 20 Aug 2009 16:44 #13490

  • bardichev
LOYANATTTA HEILIGE TZADDIK

VE AZOI GAYT ESS EPPES???

NUU ROSH CHOSESH SEEDAH??

bardichev
Last Edit: by Shmulkabulka23.

Re: I Fell 20 Aug 2009 17:28 #13500

  • Lechayim
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Barditshev Tzadik Bh  A Gitten Rosh Chodesh
So Far So Good Lomer ale Huben A gitten Heilige Chodesh


Last Edit: by aharon101.
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