I hate to say this to All these chat rooms ,and you tube is terrible . Their all terrible.  I was good for two weeks and bam back to the nisyoinois and falls. I am lost and broken . How i will over come this??? Anyone with good eitzos? I had an eitzah till now that i learned here from this GUE site. There are computers which i need for biusness and those computers are not blocked.The last two weeks i made a neder that i must pay $200.00 if i don't learn 15 minutes of some tape or read this GUE threads , chizuk emails,  or stam tapes for chizzuk, and take a walk for 15 minutes or say tehillim before i enter those computers and it worked. The neder was over and i failed miserably. I am learning the 12 steps do i continue my neder or hope the 12 steps will help me eventually. if i stop the neder isn't it like going against the steps?

fell nu nu

de beshefr is a chanin "HAMARBAH" lisloach

you know what s best for you!!!
I give you an eitzah is to sign up for the 90 dyas and check in everyday!!!

the yh can not be won with "sechel" alone

you "need" to fill your heart with something that tastes even better than youtube or chatrooms!!

bardichev

Please don't be lost or broken. Two weeks is a LONG time!

We know it hurts to fall.  

Use the pain to realize how helpless we all are in this dor of ikvasa d'meshicha, with the YH given reshus to use everything and anything that he has got. We are helpless... unless we come together and help each other.

The only one who can give you an eitza, is yourself.

But, you must devote TIME.  15 minutes is great, but not for something as IMPORTANT as this. We are not just talking 'aveirois'.  

We are talking about your FUTURE. your ENTIRE LIFE.

Le'on ata Hoilech?

Spend A LOT of time on the site. Convince yourself that its good for bu$ine$$, since it will make you more productive in the long run. WAY more productive, not just in the time you will no longer waste, but the good feeling of self esteem that will help you sell stuff better, deal with people better....

Then, see what works for you. See what type of stuff "talks" to you.  A lot of people have written about their ups and down, there is a lot to learn.

BTW, you can print out an entire thread and take it home with you, so you don't need to be at  a computer.

with tons of AHAVA,

kutan

PS: Hey, Rabbeinu Mr. Bardichev, what happened to the caps lock? looks like you switch computer keyboards with others on the thread...

zeh hakutan GUDOL YIYEH!!!

I LOVE CAPS BUT EVERYONE SEEM TO HATE THEM

THERE IS A YESOID FROM THE NESIVAS SHALOM

WHE THE EVIL YH COMES TO OFFER SCOIRAH

TELL HIM ANENI "GADOL" BA-BAYIS ME-MENI!!!

WHEN WE HOLD OURSELVES INSIGNIFICANT
WE DO MANY MAY AVEIROS

b(SMALL b)

Loynata,

You obviously found something that works for you...the neder sounds great. Only this time, MAKE SURE that you renew the neder BEFORE it is up! That is obviously the loophole here, and it's easily fixed!

And remember: Dont let the Yetzer Hara bring you down....jump right back on that horse!!

Loynata, this forum is gathering momentum and we're about to bring Moshi'ach! If you don't want to be left out of the action, there's no time at all for getting down. We're moving on so come along. The oilam already gave you great advice. All you have to do is follow the advice pick yourself up and don't get left behind. CHAP ARAIN BEFORE IT'S ALL OVER!

CHAZAK VE'EMATZ! 

Mazal tov on your fall. Don't worry about. Make a lichaim. Go do a mitzva. Regarding your computer can you put on accountabily software? can you work in public? Can you put on filters that block spesific sites? Do you have something that you are passionitate about? if not find something.

such as, swimming in frigid water

I thank all of you for the eitzos but no one really answered if i should stay with my neder system, or to go with the 12 steps program and let that work i guess progressively. I feel if i go this approach i may not get the 12 steps in correctly. Let me know your views oilam please? As of this time i found my own control helping me so far by these eitzos. However its no future cause it will fail eventually.

For sure you should stay with the neder system, that's what will said. But at the same time, you have to work on changing yourself in to a different, new, bigger and better person. That's the way everyone does it. (Sorry, I got to run)

I don't have an opinion with regard to Nedorim, but I will say that at the core of the issue is not just fighting the fall, but effecting inner changes in our way of life so that we are not the same person that acted out. So, a fall is just a reminder that we're not finished yet. Keep inspiring!

STICK TO THE NEDER SYSTEM AND PATCH UP YOUR LOOPHOLES.

Quicker results that give you room to maneuver.

Nedarim are great, and if they help do it, but IT IS NOT A LONG TERM SOLUTION.

Long term is to study the hand books that are available for download on the GUE site, called the GuardUrEyes attitude and handbook.

You CAN and MUST change the way you look at yourself and taava. You CAN avoid the feeling of taava, rather than battle it.

It is the only long term way.

k

PS: here is a link (at no cost) to a shiur in English by R' BT Twersky, about this concept:

www.torahmedia.com/search/fileinfo.php?sid=l89mh53204i043s&cid=&directlink=29692&frompage=

Yes i do know that i'm not over with My Lust problem . Still need alot of inspiring and not only nedorim. Some times its hard to renew the nedorim right away for what ever reason!  Sunday i'm alone in office.
Hasn't been this way all summer but changed now again. Thats where i fall mainly badly.

Me or EL or Bardichev (if he's back from his trip) could keep you company on Sunday... :D :D :D

Some people find that it helps to spend time (say when you're on line at the bank, or whatever) visualizing yourself in the situation, seeing yourself stay  in control... and taking pleasure in the good feeling that comes with that. Being proud of yourself...

The last part is very important.

Another thing that helps is to be realistic with your self. It does not stop at harmless chatting.
It goes m'choyil el choyil
straight down to sheol tachtis.


If I remember correctly, your first post was "I'm not into looking at shmutz sites, I just have this problem chatting" Now, you write about you tube

(By the way, your honesty throughout all this on your posts is very special... you WILL overcome this menuval, the honesty is the first key!!!)

realize, but realize well, that this is not just a taava, but that your life and respect and doros are at stake (what type of shiduch will your children get when it leaks...)

Then you can really daven to Hashem with truth to please help an ani vevyon and be matzil him from the YH.  that is the first step in avoiding the lust.