I would like to apologize to all guardyoureyes members if I have waisted their time and energy.
And sorry for making different profiles
I joined gue about 4 years ago I was going through a very difficult time dealing with guilt and that sort of thing and without getting into all the details I was given advice that was bad for me, yet I had so must faith in gue that even though I knew that they were mistaken in my case, I believed that they must be right because they are basically daas torah and I'm a nothing, so I was torn between this.
The gue admin will remember how I would email him at 2am in desperation, begging him to understand that I needed to grow slowly and that I simply could not feel guilt. I went to see a number of professionals who agreed with me, but for some reason a had a deep fear that according to guardyoureyes I had lost my olom haba, and so this tension was driving me mad, I felt i could not go on unless gue accepted my derech as valid, so I made different users to do this.
I now realize that this was wrong, because it effects other gue members. Yes it is dishonest and very wrong, I suppose it is kind of like watching porn behind one's wife's back. And everyone probably thinks I'm a disgusting scum bag, and I don't blame them,
I will just say that I did not intend to do harm and I'm sorry for the harm done. I think it became and obsession, I needed gue to accept me.
I will move on now I realize that my views are simply incomparable with gue and that me going on like a madman just makes every one insane, I have waisted enough of everyone's time already. May my madness be a lesson that people must never give advice unless they are sure they know what they talking about.
But that is no excuse for my behavior
And I ask everyone's forgiveness
