so I have really been having a hard time staying consistent and decided I would try some behavioral therapy.  I have wanted to get techeles for a while but they are a bit pricey.  so my idea is that if I can go thirty days clean I will get them, with a stipulation that I have to be clean a week straight to wear them at any given point.  I dont know if this will stop me or not, but I can only hope.  My therapist said not to dwell on the negative when I do it because that doesnt help, so I figure positive reinforcement cant hurt.  I just fell third time in a week and its partially because I have nothing stopping me.  I actually gave in this time to try to fight with a clean unthought adulterated slate.  so with this idea bzrat Hashem I can really make it, and I'll get something that is related to guarding my eyes in the process!
feedback requested...
SSBT

Positive reinforcement is always a great idea, so if this is a reward that will motivate you go for it.

May the Zechus of being Mehader in this Mitzva, which is so closely tied to Shemiras Einayim, help you to reach ever greater heights in recovery and Kedusha.

Gevura!

thanks.  I just took a different route also.  I fell AGAIN and then looked through some old friends pics and music (a lifestyle I cant go back to) and basically said this is what I was.  Now I need to be who I can be, the new me.  I dont know how much I really internalized the experience and meditation (as it sort of was) but I cant keep doing this.  i absolutely must get a hold of myself and let Hashem help me to keep shmiras ainyim, shmiras habris and shmira hamachsehva.  we should all be zoche to the help we need to get clean, once and for all!

strugglingandstrivngBT wrote on 12 Nov 2011 23:35:


Not sure I buy this.  Only because I'm too familiar with this excuse.  "I'll just get it out of my system, then start fresh."  Truth is, once I've allowed myself to gaze and fantasize, I'm beaten.  So I work on not letting it get to that point.

Don't get me wrong.  You're doing great work.  I like the tcheiles idea.

I'm really not sure how I feel about it.  On one hand once i get to a certain point (which is totally my fault) theres almost no going back, on the other, every time I give in im weaker after.  so yeah.  but I decided on doing the techeles thing and one day into 30 to buy em...

good luck! you can do it!