Something that has been absolutely terrifying me is the fear that, as punishment for the sins ive done, sort of midah kneged midah I guess, god will cause me to be childless. I'm 22 now and planning to start dating soon and its something that has really been weighing heavily on me...I love kids, and can't wait to be a father. If I wasn't able to have kids, I'm not sure i would see a point in living. I know this may sound extreme or ridiculous to some, but its truly something Im terrified about... Anyone have any thoughts or suggestions?

i've actually had this fear too, that Hashem will punish my kids or make me unable to have any.  it's just y"h induced paranoia, just look at how many of our members are married and have children.  Hashem wants His yiddishe kinder to have a father who's willing to do battle with the evil inclination. 
best,
yoni 

Hashem is not a cruel God. He created us even though we can never repay him for a single breath that he gives us. Hashem is a merciful God and the very fact that he guided you here should assure you that Hashem wants the best for you.
So while your fear may be a rational one you can be rest assured from the experience of the many married members with children that Hashem will help you live a full and productive life with Iyh a nice large family. Dont let these thoughts distract you from the task at hand which is living life and staying clean.
Hatzlacha

Thank you guys. I hope you are right. I guess i'll always be nervous and scared until I actually have kids god-willing.

I think you may have an underlying fear that you won't have children regardless to what you have done. at least i had, i was actually convinced that i won't have children, and i had all the reasons worked out. they all turned out to be wrong b"h.

Me and alot of my freinds were crazy sex addicts and we had alot of kids,so chances are if you dont stop you will get married have a few kids and then your wife will catch you,and you will be demoralized to your core on the brink of loosing everything and then you might stop.if you are lucky enough.

Keep reading UAJs reply over and over again.  It's good.  Anyway, this worry is a distraction, focus on the goal right now.  Focusing on possible punishment in general doesn't help us one bit.  Quite the opposite. 

Not sure if you got the official welcome package so I will just post a link to it.

www.guardyoureyes.org/forum/index.php?topic=3677.msg101129#msg101129

Stop worrying (doesn't help anyway), start working.

half in jest, may i suggest a segula that may help alleviate your fears?

(i do think that you should not focus on the fear and rather on living life and leaving stuff beyond your control to the RBSO, as others have said, but this segula is not only harmless it is a great idea regardless)

asimplejew.blogspot.com/2007/01/segula-for-good-children.html

wishing you hatzlocha in living clean and healthy, finding your zivug and having banim ubnei banim oskim betorah uvemitzvos

Thank you everyone for you kind words and support

I had/ve the same fears and more: parnassa, disease, bad wife, bad life in general.
This weighed on me heavily for a long time until I realized that these thoughts are obviously just the YH because they are not productive and don't lead to anything good. They just cause me mental/emotional pain. Also, I know Hashem loves me and I see that I receive great gifts from him on a daily basis. Why am I not being struck by lightning today? Why am I always going to be struck by lightning tomorrow? It's just a foul trick that my mind plays on me. In reality, my life is incredible, my Tefilos get answered, I'm happy, good life, health, family, friends, money and everything I could wish for.

Just live in today and you'll see that it's amazing!

So nice to read this thread, and even to read the threadmeister's admission of his feelings and thoughts openly here.

I have one question for you, tryingsohard (wow, I asked you another question somewhere else, too! Funny, cuz I rarely do this):

Yes, or no - do you believe that your G-d loves you? He knows everything you have ever done or felt, wanted to do, and lied or hided about. He was watching you steal looks at porn, and if you ever masturbated, he was watching you do that and giving you the ability to do it, enjoy it, hate it, and need it yet again, fight it, whatever. All of it, He is part of. And all the sweet, good stuff you ever did and will ever do. He even knows everything you will do in the rest of your life (ad meyah v'esrim shonim tovim!), even if some of it c"v may be yet more dirty sex-related desperate chases.

Given that, do you believe that your G-d loves you, or not?

This is important. I am not asking you whether you believe that you should believe that He is in love with you, nor whether you believe that the Torah says that He is in love with you. I am asking only for the facts - the truth. Do you, or don't you.

No confrontation intended by me, and I am not trying to 'prove' anything - and no harm done in admitting the truth. But great benefit will be started from admitting it to yourself.

I'm glad to hear what sounds like you're getting reassurance and can settle into doing your day to day work.  How wonderful this place is, eh?
Hatzlocho