Hi all my friends just having a tough day. Decided to come out and try and say it. In one of my classes in school we are watching a movie as a break after the midterm we had last week. After watching the movie we need to write a paper on it. It was only rated PG I thought oh good hashem is with me. but they had a kissing and a sex scene in this so called clean movie. They were under the covers but still, now I dont know where to turn right now, I have all these bad thoughts, and the movie is called (edited by request of a member). Help me

Nu? Daven!
This will pass.  Ask Hashem to take your lust.  Ask Him to take these thoughts away.
Get through today.  Get busy with something and stay busy until you're ready to go to sleep.

my therapist told me an amazing insight.  "it's just a thought".  just becuase you think something, and you often cant control your thoughts, doesnt mean you have to act on it.  so remind yourself its just a thought, just a desire.  easier said than done, but its what i got to offer right now.  thats how i just avoided looking at something. just a thought!

Sounds tough.  "clean" movie today is becoming more and more of an oximoron.  Sometimes just reading stuff here triggers me and I wish I hadn't read it.  I hope you have moved on to something else to take your mind off it.  It fades eventually. I wish you hatzlacha!

Speak to somebody in person.

If you can, try going to an SA meeting.

Your name is your solution:

"I Love My Wife."

The images and actresses in the movie are fake. The attraction is fake, it's sheker.

Your wife, whom you love, is REAL, and your relationship is EMES.

What worked for me many a time when i was "triggered" was to start thinking about my own wife, not in a sexual/fantasy way, but in the real way - to list the things I love about her, all the wonderful things she does for me and the children. How she understands us all, runs the home, anticipates our needs, manages the whole thing so i can concentrate on parnose and learning. The many moments of tender closeness, laughter, struggles we have been thru together. The more I think about her good qualities, and ONLY her good qualities, the more I appreciate her as a REAL gift from Hashem, the less room there is for concentrating on outside stimuli.

And the BEST first aid is to then take those thoughts of my wife, and use them as the impetus to do something POSITIVE toward our relationship, right away. WE lust when we are in TAKER mode. We get out of lust by switching to GIVER mode. So without asking I'll do things I know she'll appreciate, from a mid-day call just to say "hello, i'm thinking about you, i love you", to washing the dishes, or folding the laundry, or setting her up with some tea in the lounge chair with her favorite book, while i take over the kids for an hour.

And it's cheaper than flowers, healthier than chocolates, and really makes me feel good giving to her.

Lust? What lust…? I'd rather chose love over lust, any day…

I was looking for this post, so I can watch the movie. Now I found it and the name of the movie is gone.

Steve a very insightful and beautiful post

you are right. im watching porn instead of the movie.

actually if i can be so bold to point out -

nobody has a bad day!

perhaps a difficult 3-SECONDS... and maybe another difficult 3-seconds.. and maybe another difficult 3-SECONDS after that...

but if you remember to BREATHE DEEPLY (perhaps close your eyes, and ask Hashem to guide your thoughts.. if oyu need something to think about, try thinking of a single candle burning cleansing and purifying the air)

and BREATHE AGAIN , deeply. practice breathing down to your toes

(its a simple formula to remember: IN and OUT... thats it)

you know what... in time those difficult 3-SECONDS will pass!

dov.ii

learn a bit it can take your mind off the lust

Steve--really good stuff! Thanks!

Loverboy--you survived?

Hi Steve, nice post. I'm a relative newbie even though it says Hero Member under my name.  I gather you have been around a while although you haven't posted much since I joined. Nice to "meet" you.

hi Steve

wow - fancy meeting you in this neighborhood.
long time no speak - how's the cap'n of the ship doing.

Thank you guys have really helped me. With your responses to my crisis, things are looking better for me I am taking those deep breaths, and I am beating the yetzer harah up.