this year is next year's old days

Thanks for the good news on Uri me3

this is a bit awkward but I need to do this for my own sanity

I am sitting in a public toilet and I have an urge
not an urge to fall, but an urge to test my protected phone
which I know is just a ruse of the Yh to get me to fall because even if I can't get through the attempt is enough to get my blood racing
I even feel it racing now just thinking about attempting to test the filter
I have an android with k9 and they aaid that anything internet related will be filtered by the k9
it may be true it may not be but I don't even want to find out,

please anyone reading this don't tell me if its true or not especially if its not,
let me live in tjis ig orabve so that I will always think that it is filtered

I also can't download any apps without my wifes password
so I am theoretically safe but who knows these thinhs are not foolproof and I am definitely a fool when it comes to lust

so here I am posting instead of testing and truing to keep my mind off the possibilities of testing

please God keep me safe from harm!

Stay strong and dont test it. And try not to bring your phone to the bathroom.
And if you have to, because youre on the road and its public, keep it in the pocket and dont bring it out. Pretend it doesnt exist. If it gets boring try to think of interesting engaging thoughts.

bhatzlachah

Great Move!!

I was just in the same situation, was able to test a certain iphone, probably wouldn't have gotten through, but I didn't want to find out.

KOMT!!

thanks for the chizuk!!!!

there is this kind of inner peace I have knowing that my phone is blocked but that I won't even try and test it out

testing out is the beginning of the end for me!

afreshstart39 wrote:

THAT is admitting powerlessness.

Thank you for sharing

May HaShem grant you and us all sobriety and sanity,just for today.

thanks

I am only now beginning to learn what powerlessness even means!

we all know that when the lust feeling comes, then there is nothing we can do on our own to overcome it. At those times it is obvious that we have no power.

To me admitting powerlessness means accepting that I am addicted to lust even when I don't feel it. Acknowledging all the time that without HaShem I can fall anytime. And admitting powerlessness means that this thing has so much power over me, I cannot go near the battle zone. i have to surrender what i think and feel that I really can do, because I am powerless.

So admitting defeat before "testing" is am act of admitting powerlessness.

May HaShem grant us a sober and sane day.

Exactly - for me its so very hard admitting i'm powerless. despite the years of addition part of me still rebels and tells me I am in control.

Reality is I'm out of control and completely powerless.

chesky wrote:


I guess that's why it's called "admitting". when something is clearly true, black and white, you don't need to admit it, it's when there could be doubt that one needs to "admit".

Hello
I live in France and probably in Paris a group of 12 steps will go to be created.
I want to go, but i m afraid of it, because of anonymous; til i know this site, i made big progress: the real truth to my wife, filters, control of internet, stopping bad activities with bad girls; i feel that the desire is less strong. But i m not perfect; i have between 8 and 21 days of property, and i fall; so i know i need more. But i m afraid of this kind of group because of anonymous.
Can you tell me your experience ?

I have been going to SA groups like you describe, for years, in a Jewish community. All the people who come to the group protect everybody else's privacy. It is much safer that Guard Your Eyes, because you never know who is reading this - your wife? Mother? The newspaper?

But only another truly sick person like you and me who wants to get better would walk into a real, live 12 step recovery group. So it is safer because of that.

I also have many real friends here on GYE who I talk with on the phone regularly. We share pur recovery. Some do not go to live SA groups, some do.

And I have boruch Hashem been sober because of live groups one day at a time for many years now, as have many of them. Hiding is just not good enough.

Hatzlocha my French friend!

You are starting a 12-step group of Jews?