you should make yourself a on the way to 90 days thread.It adds some accountability if you decide to write every time you fall.Plus you get to write shtussim there.

For chizzuk,KOT KUTGW you can do this with hashems help.

YairA wrote:

What are you referring to, YairA?

SOS!!!!! hey anyone out there? Made it till 11 days clean and i dont want to fall... but i am getting that uncontrollable feeling!
i need some group support ASAP

Hang in there! Find something interesting and productive to distract yourself with. And say a little Tefilla for Hashem to give you strength.

KOMT!!!

Hi there Mr. forhashem,

Why don't you tell us something about yourself and your struggles?

Do some exercises, go for a jog. Keep going!

I am 21 I grew up in a frum community, & went to good yeshivos. I was always close to my rebeim & learned very good. I was probably from the best boys in my yeshiva!
Over all I was an innocent yeshiva boy. In 12th grade, completely on my own I discovered the drug of mast***.
Within days I was strongly addicted, and not realizing how wrong it was I didn’t even attempt to stop.
After a few months of this activity I learned that it was a serious sin and naturally I decided to quit.
As you all know, addicts can’t stop just because they want to!
I tried and tried and tried, but I couldn’t break the addiction.
After a while I decided to just leave things alone and I just continued with my addiction.
In first year bais medrash after a very very traumatic experience ( which I won’t get into) I found myself on a computer surfing the web… one thing led to another and I found myself looking at bad pictures for the first time in my life!!
After it was over I promised I wouldn’t do it again, but just like if you tried cocaine once you will never be able to move on, I became trapped.
B”H I didn’t have constant access to the internet, so I couldn’t watch often, I would say it was about once every 2 months or so.
As I became more and more addicted it became more frequent.
Then I got an ipod!!!!!!!!!!!
Now with the access I was able to get online much more often, and things got worse, my addiction grew and the time in between falls got less and less.
I kept on trying to put up fences… but they only held me back for a few weeks and then I would knock the fence down… and I fell all over again. I was completely out of control!!
I was so upset about the problem that one day I decided to sit down and write up a plan.
I wrote down my issues:
1) I mast***
2) I look at po**

Then I made a solution Colum.
1)
2)
But they were blank… I didn’t know how to stop!
So I davened to hashem to help me find a way out.
The next day I found GYE!!!
Since then I have completely blocked access to the internet from my phone, I put a filter on my work computer and don’t watch any movies at all.
I try to watch my eyes in the street and guard my mind from lust thoughts.
Mastu*** is much harder for me, but I have been clean for 11 days, and I hope to keep that going using the 12 steps!
So far so good, But I know that this addiction is not a 123 solution and it can jump at me when I am a little bored or stressed.

That’s why we all need each other, because together we can beat this addiction!

Thanx everyone for your quick responses i made it out safely, you really deserve all the credit!!

forhashem613 wrote:


Hashem should get a little credit too

At least for me, I think lust partially results from being a healthy bochur, but that for me, it quickly became an escape for problems in living. Perhaps do some soul-searching for stress, faulty thinking, etc. which might use lust as an escape. Go for the problem, not the symptom.

Anyway, congratulations on keeping on going strong! One day at a time!

Thanks for sharing! There are usually emotional triggers, things we are unhappy or stressed about that bring us to fall. There are also very frequently family issues (divorce, abuse, harsh criticism, etc.)that are part of the picture as well. Many addicts tend to be perfectionists (oops, I forgot the period

Does any of this ring true?

wow you hit it right on the nail!!

Things at home are far from great, i would say it is the primary reason i get stressed, and then have to fight the desire to act out.

So dealing with those stresses is the "real" issue. We addicts usually have need a 2 pronged approach.

1- avoiding physical triggers: shmiras aynayim, not fantasizing, filters, etc.

2- emotional triggers: learning to deal with various stresses using therapy, 12 steps, friendship etc. Whatever helps you to deal with difficulties in a healthy way.

It's kind of funny, I never realized that I was really a perfectionist, but after reading Gibbor120's stuff on self-esteem (page 15 on the thread "Gibbor120's home", which was EXTREMELY helpful) a few days ago (yesterday, in fact), I did a little soul searching and it rang true.

I found this article very helpful (I would recommend installing adblock before viewing, I have adblock so that's probably why I didn't see any ads):

nymag.com/news/features/27840/

Hatzlochoh! I think the attitude handbook is also about finding the real problems motivating our use of lust as a medication, as well as proper attitudes in recovery such as giving over the fight to Hashem.

Parenting problems can be a real drag

over the weekend i had a very stressful experience...
as a matter of fact i am still trying to get over it!

well my point is, that the more stressed i was the more i wanted to escape into the world of lust!
it was really amazing to see how everyone's advice was 100% true, we use lust as an escape from our problems!!

in case you were wondering f i fell, B"H i am still holding strong, but the fight is not over yet... i figured a post would help me make it through:))
thanx everyone for being there for me, when i need them most!!

Sorry to hear about your fall 4H613. I'm glad to hear that you have a good attitude! KOT!