I'm really just in a state of disbelief right now.  Ive come so far. i really thought I had this problem sorted out. I put myself in a bad situation. Don't ever do that. I don't know how I can make it up. I'm going to pretend as though this didn't happen. As if this was completely a ruach shtus and not myself. I'll skip this day and try to make it to 90 regardless of what happened today. I refuse to feel like I haven't accomplished. There is no reason to think I should give up now. I will prevail with Hashems help.

If anyone's been in a similar situation with advice please reply!

Stay strong friend, get up and try again!

I think it's a great idea!  Get to 90 days with this one exception.  Then go from there.  One day at a time.  It's all we really ever have to do.

You've learned an important lesson:  never ever let your guard down.  This is what we mean by once an addict always an addict.  I'm clean B"H for 2-1/2 years, and I still feel I'm just one gaze away from the other side.

go to the rooof of your house

dont jump

scream fell shmell


ahhhh thast will feel better

take a swig of woodford

keep on trucking!!!!!!!!!!!

wow...

I've been there a few times and I know how hard it is.
I think that it's a great idea to ignore the fall and keep counting 90.
From my experience, I know that right after such a fall it's really really hard to get up. My tendency has always been to fall many more times "since I'm down anyway, I might as well enjoy". Don't fall into that trap.
I've found that the best way to deal with your mind when it is unmanageable (like yours probably is right now), is to get onto GYE and post everything you're feeling. Writing down your temptations will give you clarity and also, we're not blinded by your YH and we'll have good answers for it!

Remember, in a few days you'll be past this and you'll be so happy that you only fell once. (BTW, it's incredible how the YH tells us how it's not such a big deal to sin "just this once" and then, after you've done it, he says "you've just done the worst thing in the world" and gets you down!)

I second kidushhashem, ive fallen after 120 days, twice, etc, don't fall into the trap its not the end of the world. easier said then done, obviously.

Thanks guys, you really cheered me up. Ive had some strong urges since then, but BH doing well. still gotta keep on trucking.

did you get on the roof of your house?
the rebbe said you HAVE to.
;D

Reach that 90 goal. I look at it as one day at a time and Yashar Koach for reaching 65 clean days one day at a time. go for the 35 more for 90 days one day at a time my brother. Its tough out there, I never liked roller coasters, but we are all on it. Good luck and good yom tov.

Every clean day is a clean day. 

One fall in 65 days is SO much bettter than 65 falls in 65 days. Or 60 falls , or 20, or 12, or 3.

Pick yourself up, brush yourself off, make an honest assessment of what happened, and of yourself, and keep on going...

Remember, YOU picked yourself up, and YOU came back here, you made an acknowledgement of what happenned.

Big steps that seem so small.

bardichev wrote on 10 Oct 2011 15:01:



Please don't drink Woodford or any other alcohol before you go up to the roof!
Very few people make it to 90 days in one attempt(I didn't. I made it once and I am still waiting to get there again.) Very few millionaires made a million dollars in their first job. Rav Noach Weinberg zt"l opened a dozen yeshivos which all failed before he opened Aish Hatorah. Even the Rebono Shel Olam destroyed the world in the Mabul when things didn't work out.


Carry on driving your lorry!