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problems other than the internet
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TOPIC: problems other than the internet 2052 Views

problems other than the internet 09 Dec 2008 02:13 #1207

  • shmuel
Does anyone out there ever had a serious problem with using the phone to listen to inppropriate things, or even worse- to have sexual conversation on the phone? Anyone ever spend money on this? What could one do about this? Unlike the internet, there are no filters that I know of for the phone! One can't live nowadays without a phone, especially when living with other people! Any thoughts on this?
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Re: problems other than the internet 09 Dec 2008 02:42 #1209

  • elya k
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I have used the phone in the past and especially chat rooms on the computer. We cannot literally
cut ourselves off from all forms of communication, unless you want to live in a cave somewhere.
All of these urges become easier to deal with when people are involved in a program, have a sponsor,
go to therapy or even partner with someone on this forum to stay accountable.  There is a reason we are attracted to talking with people on the phone.  This is an addiction of the need for intimacy.  for example, if I grew up and was constantly yelled out and every time I appealed for help, I was ridiculed or abandoned emotionally, this will cause me in later years to constantly be looking for this connection, especially from women, if I didn't get that as a child.

Once you explore your past and figure out what this is for you, you can then heal it by talking about it and listening to how others have dealt with this issue.

I work on the computer.  The last time I fell, my counselor made me stay away from the computer for an entire month.  My wife had to read my emails and I answered them.  But after a month, I no longer had that pull toward looking at porn.  I was re-motivated to work and get on with my sobriety.

Get into a group, talk, listen, participate, get a sponsor and you'll see, it will get much easier.
Also, go to slaafws.org and read the pamphlet on withdrawal.
Elya
Elya K was the first  GYE hotline moderator for couples struggling with Shmiras Eiynaim issues in their marriage.  Elya is the author of 6 books, among them Navigating the Phases of Sex Addiction Recovery, Help Her Heal with Carol Sheets,  Ambushed by Betrayal: The Survival Guide for Betrayed Partners on their Heroes’ Journey to Healthy Intimacy with Michele Saffier. 


FREE EBOOK ON THE GYE SITE AT: Mask In the Mirror (guardyoureyes.com)

Elya K. has been coaching people worldwide for over 10 years for Shmiras Eiyanim issues. 
For a free 15 minute consultation call 901-248-6001.
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Re: problems other than the internet 09 Dec 2008 08:10 #1214

  • the.guard
  • Current streak: 745 days
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Elya, the GUE network wouldn't be half as effective without you on board!
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
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Re: problems other than the internet 09 Dec 2008 21:24 #1230

  • Mevakesh Hashem
I agree with you 100% Elya is an amazing asset to our forum and  his portion in Olam Haba is impossible to fathom! 

Chazak V'Ematz Elya!
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Re: problems other than the internet 10 Dec 2008 00:43 #1235

  • elya k
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Thanks to both of you.  I'll probably see you there, hopefully a long time from now.  ;D

Just spoke to a guy who is visiting my city from Nashville, Tennessee.  he has 22 years of
sobriety and is a sponsor for many frum people long distance.  He is giving a workshop
here on maintaining sobriety.  I will record it, I'H, and maybe we can post it on the site.

Elya
Elya K was the first  GYE hotline moderator for couples struggling with Shmiras Eiynaim issues in their marriage.  Elya is the author of 6 books, among them Navigating the Phases of Sex Addiction Recovery, Help Her Heal with Carol Sheets,  Ambushed by Betrayal: The Survival Guide for Betrayed Partners on their Heroes’ Journey to Healthy Intimacy with Michele Saffier. 


FREE EBOOK ON THE GYE SITE AT: Mask In the Mirror (guardyoureyes.com)

Elya K. has been coaching people worldwide for over 10 years for Shmiras Eiyanim issues. 
For a free 15 minute consultation call 901-248-6001.
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Re: problems other than the internet 11 Dec 2008 18:36 #1299

  • mdmjerusalem
Elya did you record it?
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Re: problems other than the internet 11 Dec 2008 18:39 #1300

  • kookooreekoo
Elya, I know this guy well, did you get his permission to record him or to breach his annonimity?
Last Edit: 11 Dec 2008 18:45 by .

Re: problems other than the internet 11 Dec 2008 22:14 #1310

  • elya k
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Harvey A. said this morning I could record his lecture part but not the participants part of the
workshop.  The workshop is on Relapse Prevention.  It's on this coming Shabbos (of all days). 
Actually within walking distance to my house but we're having the The Chief Rabbi of Israel (believe it or not) come in our city this weekend for the 10th anniversary of our shul.

I am going to give my recorder to a goy friend of mine to record the appropriate portions.  It will not
breach anyone's anonimity.

Kookoo, were you at the weekend in NJ?

Elya
Elya K was the first  GYE hotline moderator for couples struggling with Shmiras Eiynaim issues in their marriage.  Elya is the author of 6 books, among them Navigating the Phases of Sex Addiction Recovery, Help Her Heal with Carol Sheets,  Ambushed by Betrayal: The Survival Guide for Betrayed Partners on their Heroes’ Journey to Healthy Intimacy with Michele Saffier. 


FREE EBOOK ON THE GYE SITE AT: Mask In the Mirror (guardyoureyes.com)

Elya K. has been coaching people worldwide for over 10 years for Shmiras Eiyanim issues. 
For a free 15 minute consultation call 901-248-6001.
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