Please if anybody has any eitzah on the matter please please please help me! I am currently on a 20 day clean and I am trying harder then I ever have to break free from my addiction. The only thing is that I keep having "bad dreams! I have a K-9 filter up I learn every single day, I do mussar, I go to minyan, I dont look at bad pictures even, But for some reason I have had maybe 5 bad dreams in the last 20 days. its ridiculous. I say hamapil and it strill happens I say shema (which is supposed to help also Berachos 5a) and nevertheless I keep having these dreams. I feel it is definately a chissoron in me. Please if anyone has any tips or way that worked for them and they could share it with me I would really appreciate it. If the idea seemed appropriate I would try to implement it into my everyday life. Thanks to all those that are listening and I will definately read every single reply with care. I really love you all thank you.

20 days clean is really amazing, and the dreams might be a weapon from the y"h to put your mood down, but be aware that "DREAMS DONT COUNT"
i found what helped me, an interesting idea, through the day whenever i saw a trigger, while avoiding it, at the same time i brought to my mind disfavourable statemen slogans. for example: "this is so disgusting" "i hate the whole idea of that" "she is disgusting" "lust is disgusting"etc... then bingo, in the middle of the night when i had a dream i actually woke up, because my mind was trained to revoke it.
another thing i found helpd termendously, i learn ONE mishneh every night, and i study it immidietly 10-15 times until i can say it by heart, and in bed i fall asleep with that

A quick comment.

I have been through this many times in the past.

It seems to me that the bad dream is the YH's attempt to make you believe that you are going to fall in the very near future. It's saying:

"This is what's going to happen to you. There is no use fighting. It's inevitable that you will not succeed in your attempt to control me".

So, in my view, the response to these bad dreams is to internalize (as the Ba'al HaTanya puts it) this message: Moach Shalit al Halev (The mind rules over the heart). This is a fact. Therefore, a dream only has power when it convinces you to abdicate this belief. In and of itself, it does not have the power to make you sin. It is Gurnisht, a vapour, a kind of a mirage, that makes you believe something that isn't actually true.

Perhaps, on a deeper level, the dream is Hashem pushing you to put things in their proper place. The higher parts of you (which seem weaker) are made to govern the lower parts of you (which seem stronger). Kind of like a rider on a horse. If he lets go of the reins in the belief that the horse's physical strength means that the horse is destined to rule over him, then he is abdicating his rightful place. When he understands that he is destined to rule over the horse (even though he is physically weaker) then the horse submits to his will and then becomes an incredible tool to help to further his goals, as it should be.

This belief is even reflected in our calendar. We call our "new year" Rosh Hashanah (meaning head of the year) instead of Tehillas Hashanah (beginning of the year). This is the principle of the higher and the more "important" being able to influence and direct the lower and less important. It is 2 days directing and influencing the course of 363 days! What seems "greater" submits itself to something that is "higher"!

So look at the dreams as a message from your loving father. Remember who and what you are. You are a Jew with a G-dly soul and your avodah is to fullfill inside of your own body this principle as a prelude to manifesting it into the world.

Keep up the great work!

Thanks everyone for those wonderful eitzes and ideas. I'm just starting now also and I'm having similar problems. I kinda,felt that even though I've been clean for a while before this time, y.h. relizes that im serious so he puts up a bigger fight. I think we have to remember that Elul is such a special time with a great nesinas koach from hashem all we have to do is try a little and he will help us the rest of the way. B''H for the gye community to make that much easier!

Here's a great tip that's fast and works well for me!

Every night, I spend 2 minutes saying the first 4 prakim of tehilim. They are a segula for this exact thing (that's why we say them on yom kippur night). Then, as my eyes are closing, after I've said Hamapil, I ask Hashem (in my mind) to not let me have any bad dreams, to not let me lust in my dreams, to not allow any emissions. I tell him that it's out of my control. I ask for mercy. Then I tell myself that I don't care what happens b/c I've done my best.
Whole process takes like 3 minutes...
I've been clean now for 40 days and only had one wet dream. HUGE improvement for me.

B'Hatzlacha!

gr8 idea kidushashem thanks

WOW just awesome ideas, biezrat hashem I will try to implement the tehillim idea. I didn't know it was a segulah, that came as a huge surprise to me. I actually learned a little aruchot tzadikim and it worked last night but thats not a riyah because it was only one night. Hopefully the tehillim will give me further chizuk. Shkoiyach!

when saying the first four kappitlech keep in mind each time you say Hashem that it's menukad "chirik" under each letter, but it's a sgula against "keri", I don't know about bad dreams. I had them too, also around third-fourth week of being clean. Someone suggested it's part of withdrawal, like your ingrained desire for those things slowly exiting the body, and out even of the subconscious. So they shall pass as long as you don't dweel on them during the day. It helps me to say "choloim toiv" three times in the morning whille thinking about the dream (no matter how bad) and it disappears from the front burner.

it helped for one night, gr8, thats all we need, one night at a time, every single night
cheerek pey 3 times, a gr8 seguleh, to get rid of unwanted thoughts

wow this sounds familiar good luck one thing that helped me is if i listen to music before bed its simple and keeps your mind off things thats of course if dont learn before bed

Whats choloim tov?

abcd1234 wrote on 21 Sep 2011 02:04:


"good dream"