To those who have gotten through the 90 days, I have a question:

What was/is the toughest time during the journey? I am currently at 21 days and it's getting tough, although B"H, I have not yet had a fall.

Please let me know how your 90 days played out, and what I may have to look forward to, in terms of milestone challenging times.

Thanks!

WTS

please read jack's story for my answer to you.i don't remember exactly, but i think around 60 days i felt a void - like i lost my best friend.in the first 40 days, i went absolutely out of my mind.then i calmed down.when i hit 90, i was in heaven! stay the course, and you will be rewarded.look at the END of the journey, not the pain you are in now.

Most people that go for ninety fall right afterwards and can't get up for a long time . Stop counting days. Instead count your blessings.

Most? I doubt that. Probably most that make it to 90 keep going alot longer, even if some do eventually have a relapse. Let's hear from the "been there, done that, got the t-shirt" bunch. Personally I'm only up to 60 so far.

chaimlustaddict wrote on 14 Sep 2011 14:42:

that's a great line!

imho, the 90 day idea is a good for some while no good for others. for some it shows them that they CAN go for a nice chunk of time and not fall in the mud. and that can be a catalyst for him to make the effort to be alert and on guard so he can keep clean.

for others it becomes like a person who holds his breath under water and can only do so for a certain amount of time. the pressure keeps building and in a self-fulfilling prophecy he falls back. whether it is the former or the latter probably depends on how much of an attachment to lust there is.

at the very least it can be useful in showing yourself where you stand.

I never counted days.  I just committed to my new, lust-free existence, one day at a time.  I'm approaching 2-1/2 years.

The first few weeks were MURDER.  Constantly fighting to give up my lust.  The hardest things for me were not checking out women, and pushing out lustful thoughts.  I pinched myself if I caught myself looking, and I davened over and over whenever the thoughts came.

After a while, I got into the habit of steering my eyes away from women, and developed a sort of radar that intercepted lustful thoughts and fantasies very early on.

One day, I realized the battle was easier.  There were less intrusive thoughts.  It was no longer torture to look away from the candy.  I no longer felt like I was missing out on this "simcha."  I felt lighter, freer.  No longer a battle raging in my head.  It's good to be well.  I wish it for you soon.  Keep shteiging!

It's gets harder for everyone at the point where they start losing focus. Naturally, you start feeling more confident when you reach a milestone. After some time, you feel you no longer need all the fences. You also feel great about all the time you have under your belt.
BEWARE OF THAT ATTITUDE.
I don't care if you've got 5 years under your belt. Live in the moment. Take it one day at a time. Keep your fences up. Don't get cocky with the YH.

Very, very wise advise for all of us from Kiddushashem.

Thank you all for the replies.  The original materials I read point to some physiological change that takes place after 90 days.  Have any of you experienced that?!

Yes!
The constant pull isn't nearly as strong.  But it's always crouching at the doorway, meaning a slip can still easily lead to a shortcut back to square one.

Thanks for this great thread.
Altough i am very early in my counting but its good to know whats coming and some good advise too.

Just confirming the 90 day magic.
It's a whole new level. You feel almost like the garbage never happened.
(The danger in that is obvious-you can get too confident).
You won't feel it when the clock strikes at midnight on day 91. But somewhere around there.