Why shono rshona? I have a house full of kids?

well, this year is the first year of the rest of our life

very happy for you, Chaim, that you see improvement in living life

Another facet is the secrecy. The p*RN becomes a very special thing when it's secret. It is somthing that only belongs to me. That increases its lure for me. If people would know that i am looking at p*RN now it would ruin the whole game for me. When i share with someone what I'm about to do, it takes out the whole fun.

It's almost as if google image search was custom made for the lust addict. The addiction isn't to the final act. The obsession is looking for that perfect pic. We are addicted to the hunt. The roaming endlessly around the red light district looking for the perfect strip bar. When at three o'clock in the morning we finally settled on the perfect one it is almost disappointing that the search has ended. One magazine never cut it for me. The ritual was to agonized for a half hour which one to buy. To walk by the stand for three days before to catch a few glimpses of the covers. Then to go home think about which one to buy. The mast at the end is almost anticlimatic. The Internet and google image search is amazing. There the hunt never ends. The hunt and the acting out become one act. The whole act of viewing Internet porn becomes part of the search for more. Even when i find that perfect video, I can't even finish it. The search has to continue for something even better. There is no time for relaxing and just watching p*rn.

have you ever seen something so perfect that it cant improve in any way?
all these pig's pic's are photo brushed, its far from reality
you will allways look for something even more "just perfect" then the previous one, as 100% perfect doesnt exist, so its a never ending lust drain
it makes the chaser totaly depressed, as he is constantly chasing something that he cant and wont ever find
now when you out of that race you can understand it

Chaim, your description is spot on! I can relate.  How can all you ppl on GYE get inside my brain  ???.

Me too. I would look for hours for that one perfect clip that I would use to "finish". Each time I wanted the most spectacular experience. Either i would find something I thought was really good or I just couldn't hold it anymore, either way afterwards it was like "that's all there is to it? what a letdown"  .

Of course that didn't stop me from doing the same thing next time  :-[ .

We're not in your brain, we just all are running the same program....

Chaim,
That was a great analysis that I can totally relate to.
It's good to take this apart, flay it open for the emptiness it really is.
Shteig on!
Alex

I hate p*** b/c I hate being limited. I hate being unable to control myself.

i hate p*** b/c it makes me cry at davenning with false tears

Shmeichel wrote on 03 Oct 2011 10:09:


nice!