I dont know what to do anymore. It's Chodesh Elul and I'm supposed to be doing teshuva. Instead, i keep on failing. I really have no where to turn too and I'm not sure how to creep out of this mess.

There can be days that I watch myself, Daven erlich and do teshuva. Then just out of the blue, without any real push from the yetzer hora, BAM.

I think I need a one on one with a Psychologist!

Welcome,

You came to the right place. There is so much information on this site. I would say everyone on this site felt like you are describing at some point "Instead, i keep on failing. I really have no where to turn too and I'm not sure how to creep out of this mess" Thats why we are here.

There is a way out. look around and you will see for yourself. post away, ask and share your struggles and together we will move forward.

this is a great place to be.

Shalom chaver!                        -Pres Clinton

How do we avoid having gilui arayos? 

We have fences.  No touching women, no being alone with women. 

If you never touch or seclude yourself with women, it's impossible to commit that sin!

Same thing here.  If the computer is part of your sin, no sitting alone with a computer.

Hang around with other people as often as possible.  Try to use public bathrooms whenever possible.  (You wouldn't do "it" in a public bathroom, right?  Someone might hear you!)

If you live alone, get a roommate.  Do anything you can to be in places where you will be too embarrassed to sin.

Sounds like a "low" spiritual level, right?  Doesn't sound "l'shma" right?

Hey, at least if you do this, you're keeping the bris kodesh due to fear of embarassment.  I'm only doing it for the money!

The biggest problem is that I do it at work. I sit a bit secluded with a computer that's supposed to be filtered. i have a back way of getting in. Of course there is always the fear of getting caught, yet I still take the risk. When I'm ready to do my business, I do go to the restroom to "relive" myself.

In all earnestness, I know that i have to get to the person that got me the FULL access to block me. It's quite embarrassing to let him know the reasoning behind it. Once i close this connection I will have much less opportunities to sin.

One bad thing will come out of this though, I will not have access to this website. I'm sure that the benefits out way the losses. It's so hard to let go. I became dependent on it always being available.

get the filter!!!!!!!!!!!!

this site is just a tool

stop now

besides you may get fired or worse ch"v

we will find a way to keep intouch with u

I asked him to block me. I hope he wont forget since it needs to be done at home. I really dont want to be fighting this alone!

Welcome aboard Needs. It's great that you took the step of asking to be blocked, despite the potential embarrasment. I hope that you have a filter at home, if not get one right away!

Keep posting and reading so you can customize your personal Truck^TM to what works best for you!

KVT & KOT!!!

Gevura!

P.S. Heuni:
"Shalom Chaver" actually meant "goodbye". Besides, I don't think Pres. Clinton represents the kind of Hashpa'ah we want around here. Too bad he couldn't be a member here when he needed it  .

Unbelieveable courage that you confronted him to block computer. AWESOMe.  May that alone give you zechut to win every time.
Chasde ;)i

Did he remember to help you with the filter?

Yes, but sadly he asked me to help him out where he left the filter open....now i'm sinking again. I cant understand why I have no self control. It's scary!

The scariest part is, I found out that my son is suffering from shmiras anayim as well. Can this be hereditary?  I feel like it's all my fault that he is going through the same gehonim I am.

A filter is important, but it's only part of a global plan you need to beat this. 
What are you doing in terms of recovery?

Nothing really except for trying to hold myself back.

What do you mean he asked you to help him where he left out the filter,
What does this mean??
Tell him it is Yichud for any jewish man to be alone with a computer and you want it blocked now. Not tomorrow!!

Do it, forget the embarresment, BH you have a way out, BH you want to do it. (Most people don't)

Do it!! Post and let us know, why should Hashem help with your families shmiras einayim if you won't commit yourself. The father is the root of all good and bad in the house no one else.

hereditary? He's a normal boy. Most people don't know that their sons struggle and most kids do. You have the ability to help your son with his shmiras einayim. That's a reason to be really happy. I wish my dad new more about my problems. I wish I was sharing all this stuff with him.

needsyirasshamayim wrote on 06 Sep 2011 19:42:


needsyirasshamayim wrote on 05 Oct 2011 20:08:


Did you ever consider that rather than focus on "doing teshuva" you first focus on taking steps to change yourself.  How can you even think you are doing teshuva when all your doing is "trying to hold yourself back" something which has never worked yet.
Working on trying to change yourself will be much more precious to Hashem and will probably be far more succesful.

Alex is correct filters are great (having webchaver too would be even better) but that is not getting to the heart of the problem.

Did you read the GYE manual yet? Maybe join one of the calls. Get an accountability partner.

Wishing you much success.